23 Feb 2009

I Am Too Young For Cougarville!!

Just a few moments ago I was on my way to Tasty Jerk for some Jerk Pork and I have my Ipod on [Single Ladies was playing...how ironic] and three, let just call them young black layabouts were standing outside the local betting shop, smoking. You know typical attire, sweat bottoms, sweat jacket, a jacket over that and a cap looking like he needed change and a map to the nearest YMCA more than anything.

This bruh starts bouncing [literally] along next to me and leaves his boys behind just talking, talking, talking and getting no response. I was sick of this already 10 seconds in. So I'm thinking "Awww hell no you cannot possibly be talking to me" So I pause Bouncy Knowles, and he's going on about my mean look I gave him. Obviously trying to chirps [hit on].

IF YOUR BLACK ASS IS WALKING ALONG THE STREET IN PITCH BLACK DARKNESS AND SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE HOMELESS STARTS TALKING TO YOU AND YOU HAVE EARPHONES IN AND ARE NOT RESPONDING, WOULD YOU ADOPT THE MEAN 'I'LL CUT YOU FACE'?

HIM: "How old are you?"
ME: "23"
HIM: "Why how old are you?"
ME: "Old!!!"
HIM: "Well that's alright my last girlfriend was 43."

Bitch, that was not your girl that was your mother. And what does he mean that's alright. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF YOUR BRUCK LOOKING SELF GETTING THE BEGINNING '0' OF MY CELL PHONE NUMBER, LET ALONE MY DIGITS, A CHICKEN OUT OF THE BOX DATE AND A QUIET NIGHT IN WITH YOU AND YOUR MANS DEM GATHERED AROUND THE X-BOX.

What can this lazy ass bum of a non wearing ragga muffin do for me a professional in the City working woman?

These fools need to stop smoking that shit and stop approaching women who have bills and no babies and a job.

The next time I will not press pause. I will keep on moving, as what I cannot hear cannot affect me.

Just those few words and my attention was too much for that idiot. With his "yeah yeah you get me" self. He's very ambitious I'll give him that much. Maybe he should channel some of that ambition in the employment field and find a damn job. Young working men don't hang outside betting shops dressed like that. I bet I know his line of work though, for real! And it doesn't involve a payslip and regular PAYE and National Insurance contributions.
STEP OFF!!!

Just for the record, I expect a gentleman to be a gentleman. What happened to a handshake upon meeting someone or an "excuse me can I talk to you for a moment please?" Even if I wasn't interested I would have responded and declined politely. You come at me aggressively, I'm going to respond in kind....next time though, not at all.

4 comments:

  1. 10/10 for ambition for this young boy...most definitely!!!and I so hate it when guys are chatting to you and they can see you have your ipod on...where are the manners??

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  2. You actually made me laugh out loud with this one. Lucky I have my own office today, people would be staring at me like wtf! Worst thing is I can totally picture it, NOT cool.

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  3. Too bad,

    Cougarville or Pantherville is totally accepted for men. I cant lie this double standard works for us men too well and i love being a guy. Sometimes we dont want that intelligent sista barking down our throats everytime so we pick up a nit wit with a pretty face and call it a day. Dont get me wrong we do enjoy the intelligence of an oldler woman but many are set in their ways and lack the energy and enthusiasm that we still cherish and besides i can by a 22yr old a Happy meal and call it a day but an older woman will need one of those big bags that weighs a ton for her to drag around town breaking my bank and you barely get a good night of loving for your deeds lol.
    I feel for women cos maturity level for them starts early and they mature a lot faster than us men and unfortunately have to dumb down a whole lot to tolerate our mess.

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  4. "I feel for women cos maturity level for them starts early and they mature a lot faster than us men and unfortunately have to dumb down a whole lot to tolerate our mess."

    Don't worry about us. What do you think older men are for? Real women don't have to dumb down or tolerate anything. We tweak our requirements and move on to the next best thing. Something tells me Miss 43 year old girlfriend was hardly a woman and more a welfare case with x amount of children and man who just left her for a white girl needing serious attention. Or she was the white woman getting some sexual chocolate *rolls eyes* I've seen a lot of them take up with anything just to say they have a [black] man.

    This boy was not attracting anything of any substance. I should have taken a picture for you to see what ragga muffin I was dealing with. You would have told me straight "Nai, next time keep it moving! Why did you even bother" Bet I'll see him at the same spot today tomorrow and next week.

    Better find a different route from the train station to my house then.

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