Is Blatant Disrespect In Relationships Now The Bloody Norm?

I ask this because I was watching a few music videos earlier today and back to back in order that they came on were:

Chris Brown -Transform Ya

Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love

Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway

OK what have those songs got to do with the title of the blog I may hear you ask?

Nothing!
 

I wasn't really paying attention to the songs or videos, I was thinking about them as people. Chris Brown and his abusive relationship with Rihanna. Cheryl Cole and her footballer husband Ashley Cole cheating on her. And the rumours (which we all know are flipping true) about Fergie's husband Josh Duhamel cheating on her with a stripper and possibly more than one woman before they got married.

Is this all people do nowadays, beat you and cheat on you?

Fair enough they are celebrities, blah, blah, blah, but lets not get it twisted in 2009 with the amount of regular folks stepping out some way on their partners whether it be emotionally, physically or both. I mean anyone who follows secrettweets [which I have since unfollowed] on Twitter will see that plenty of this stuff goes on and around. Some are very proud of their extra curricular activities, others are totally ashamed.

Sometimes it really makes me wonder about people in relationships period. It really does. And even if you've never been cheated on, with stories of infidelity every day it's enough to make some people worry about it possibly happening to them down the line, and have you thinking "is anyone really that faithful or respectful of their unions anymore?"

My thing is this:

• If you feel you cannot be faithful to your partner, then don't be with them. IT'S THAT SIMPLE. How about a phone call or conversation before you stick your dick in, hold hands, meet or kiss someone else?
  
• Anything you cannot tell/hide from your partner when it comes to a member of the opposite sex who you happen to know...chances are you aren't acting right and you know it.
• BEFORE you decide to take any kind of step with someone PLEASE get all your whoring, and your ego stroked by as many females possible before you enter that relationship.

It saves a lot of pain and heartache down the line.

Don't even get me started on Alicia Keys. I can't even look at her anymore. What's her new single called? 'Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart'??? I think Mashonda, Swizz Beatz' wife is telling you the same thing Alicia.

Rev Run said something the other day that made a lot of sense. Got a ton of retweets too...

"If youre a side chick & you marry that man (remember!) That side chick position is now open again.. Im jus sayin"

The same saying applies to you too fellas. Don't EVEN get it twisted. I think it applies even if the end result isn't marriage. The same way you get em, is the same you you'll lose em.

Didn't Alicia sing a song called Karma as well?

"What goes around, comes around. What goes up, must come down."

 I'm just sayin....think about your actions and how they'll affect other people who you claim to love and care about.

Procrastination!

Is there a book on how to overcome it? And if so, how do you even battle the procrastination to pick up the book and read it anyway?

I got a few things to do, daily I've been putting them off. I'm trying to get them done and get up out of here. Not happening right now.

My inside voice is saying...tomorrow. My outside voice is saying do it now.

**ROLLING OF THE EYES COMMENCES**

In my head I got it all played out of how pro-active I'm going to be. When I get up and to it, it doesn't go so well.

Oh well only 2pm...I'm not going to count myself out just yet.

Let me leave the Blackberry alone...doesn't help if you've got a ton of stuff to do.

No distractions. Let me just get on with the little list that I have.

*SIGH*

T.I.R.E.D. of being a procrastinator.

I'm even blogging when I should be doing stuff.....

....Alright let me hop, skip and jump to it. The sooner it gets done, the sooner I can get out of here.

The more that gets done today, leaves little to be done tomorrow.

"Seein' Right Through You Like You're Bathin' In Windex"

I don't think I've ever quoted my own Facebook status in the few years I've been blogging.

"The transparency of certain individuals NEVER ceases to amaze me. So, so, so transparent even Stevie Wonder can see it! To shake my head, laugh or do both?? Rev Run, Joyce Meyer, TD Jakes I've quoted quite a fair bit. Today Facebookers, the quote comes from the one and only..."Seein' right through you like you're bath...in' in windex" -Mariah Carey. Never has such a JOVIAL lyric in a song made SO MUCH SENSE."

It's not about the song 'Obsessed' more so just that line. Yeah the song is fun and light hearted, and the most jovial line in it is the windex line repeated throughout the chorus. When you kick off your shoes and relax your feet, sit and observe, it really is a trip at the lengths some people go to and coninue to go to. Masquerading behind a facade, trying to appear to be the person they are NOT for alterior motives. I can see it, and it's pitiful. It's funny for a millisecond, then just really not so clever after that. Then my temper kicks in and I want to scream "what kind of a fool do you take me for?"

Luckily for me I've learnt to ask for help, whether it's something so small or absolutely huge. Praying boldly is my new thing. The Lord knows my tolerance and patience is very low at most times.

My bold prayer for today will center on that transparent person just getting out of my face...for good. A long trip down some raging rapids with a strong current would be nice also. I don't think God will adhere to that request but the getting out of my face part I'm sure he can handle.

At least with these type of people you are never surprised by their actions. Funny thing is I've been kind of 'warned' by several people about this person. My response was "I already know," they weren't telling me anything I didn't already know. I told y'all I was an observer. I can only watch for so long till you get on my damn nerves that's for sure.

God can fight my battles. I'm sitting this one out. No need for raised blood pressure this early in the morning. I am NOT trying to be Madea, but if I need to be....that side still exists.

Where Are The Real Gentle-Men?

I've spoken with guys [especially here in London] about the whole chivalry thing. I've witnessed rude ass women not even say thank you when a man has held the door open for them, and I can see why some men get pissed off and refuse to do it going forward. Fellas, regardless of how many times a woman may not thank you for your efforts, please don't stop being a gentleman because you will always come across a REAL woman who knows how to appreciate the little things that a man does [and I'm not even speaking on a romantic level, just in general].

I got on the Tube today for the first time in over a month.  I've been stateside for 3 weeks, so have totally been out of the whole 'London State of Mind.' For all of those that don't know...London is a city full of bad manners and rudeness. Oh don't get me wrong, you want a good time, want to earn money then it's the greatest place to be, but don't expect much in the ways of common courteousy very often, or you will be left very disppointed.  So I'm sitting there reading my book and see a married couple get on the Tube. Around mid 40's, he's well over 6ft tall, she's petite, both able bodied, he's stocky...and he sits his ass down in the only available seat and continues to have a conversation with his idiot wife who is standing  up on the tube in front of him.

You know when you have those moments like, "Is he for real?" Well I couldn't help but to stop and stare.

The last seat and you take it.

The last seat and you make your wife stand up in front of you.

The last seat and you didn't even offer it to your woman.

I.DON'T.WANT. THAT.

A man who isn't even considerate enough to even offer.  Scratch that. He shouldn't have to offer. The last seat should be yours. That's his wife and unless dude is crippled or is carrying a cane, "stand yo ass up!"

She's at fault too, because she allows it.  I don't even know if I have the patience to even allow that mess just ONCE. There are some things as a man that you should know, unless the 'Three C' rule applies [Crippled or Carrying a Cane], the seat always goes to the woman.

Now Londoners I'm sure you've seen during the rush hour the empty seat scenario. Man and woman both heading for the seat. One is polite [the man] v the one who is the idiot [the woman]. Why is she the idiot? Because she actually extends her hand as a silent gesture AFTER the man has done the same to say "would you like the seat? I'm far to independant and liberated to even accept such a kind hearted gesture from a gentleman like yourself. Due to my constant need to always be in control and have that power, even over total strangers I will emasculate you and make you feel like the bitch who needs the seat."

Why is accepting a seat so hard for so many women in this city? Do they really feel it detracts from their power [whatever that might be]?

I don't have time for that mess.  My independant and liberated ass is taking the seat. I'm a woman, you're a man, if the Three C rule doesn't apply, I'll say thank you and take the seat.  You're always saying how we are the weaker sex.  Well case closed, my weak ass needs a seat thank you very much you strong, empowered man!

Let me speak for myself here..

I'm not impressed by the fancy cars, clothes, money etc.  I'm sure if I was 'that kinda woman' I would have no problem in getting and keeping [even for a short while] a man who had all of that. But if there is nothing in the 'how he treats me' department I am NOT interested.

There is something WAY more fulfilling than a guy with money and material possessions. It's called a gentleman.  A man who knows how to speak to and treat his woman. It costs nothing, but the effort is a hell of a lot more than simply flashing a credit card and buying her something fancy to 'prove' that you're sorry or care for her.  I'm an action speak louder than words kind of woman. Yes you can flap your gums about all that you want from me, for us etc etc. But I need to see that somehow. And small GENUINE gestures can go a VERY long way.

You taking the seat and not even considering me is NOT showing that you have much regard or consideration for me at all. In my head I'd be calling him all types of bastard in different dialects.

Think about it, it's always something small. If your own husband isn't even considerate enough to consider you when it comes to a seat, then what in the hell is he like when it comes to holding the door open for you, to taking care of you when you're sick?

There's asshole and then there's asshole. I'm prepared for asshole in the 'having a bad day sense' but that type of asshole *shakes head* I would never want.

Men sometimes think we are clocking how much they make, how much they spend on us and forgetting all of the rest. I watch closely for everything but that. Doors being held open, asking me about MY day, how he speaks to me, how affectionate he is, considering me when it comes to where do you want to go [short term] compared to where do you want to go [long term] etc etc etc. When you're looking for a man, a REAL man, soul mate, partner, love of your life those are the things that I think are extremely important. If the money runs out then what??? You're ass out and stuck with an asshole. A lack of consideration towards me over a long period of time with no hope of changing, would be the kicker for me that would make me want to leave. Not the cash running out or anything like that. To me money doesn't maketh the man. I prefer heart, mind, body and soul over any of that any day.

And as for the seat thing, I'm not a poor and defenseless woman, but damn...some of you always talk about wanting to be THE man, wanting to be the provider...then provide your woman with the damn seat and STOP YOUR NOISE. It's not about providing us with financial stability and material possessions and calling it a day. Some of us aren't that bloody greedy and complicated you know.

Raatid!!!

• Why am I on the laptop in bed @ 6:52am eating pizza??
• I have a job interview @ 11am and need to leave the house by 9:30am?
• I haven't even prayed over this job interview. I can do that in the shower. I get a lot of my best praying done in the bathroom.
  
• I have NOT read over the job spec or my CV/resume to familiarise myself with my past positions.
• Why am I so last minute DOT COM???
• Why did I just take a break from blogging to dip the crust in garlic sauce???
• Why do I procrastinate so.....???
• Why am I deh pon Facebook???

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Thoughts Of The Day

• At 8:32am is it too early to even have so many thoughts of the day already.
• Went to sleep just after 5pm woke up just after 5am....jet lag or just overly tired???
• How long is jet lag supposed to last for anyway?
• You ever get the feeling when you're tired of fearing/putting off things and just want to say to hell with it, bite the bullet and do it anyway??? Yep, at that point. 
• Whether the outcome is good/bad just gonna do it anyway.
• Regardless of the weather today, I'm getting out of the house....need to.
• Going to look into some 'extra-curricular' activities.
• Going back to work for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only...1. To pay off the last of my debts and 2. To save some money.
• Certain people don't annoy me as much as they used to. Let them be them, I'm going to continue being me.
• Wondering if I've compromised being 100% myself in any way shape or form (not for the better) recently.  Need to think about that one deeply and seriously.
• I haven't spoken to a friend since I was 18 years old. Got in contact with her on Facebook, this morning she accepted my friend request. She sent me a message which I'm too chicken to read at the moment. I will, but later.
  
• Back to the job thing, they want to see me for an interview (not mentioning any company names)...you know how the Internet works.
• I'm de-junking anything and everything I don't need/use room by room in this house. I have this strange energy around me the moment and the more I get rid of the better I feel. I can't function with uneccessary crap around me.
• The no cursing thing is going well.
• Missing my baby. He may not think I listen all the time, but I take what he says on board, and to be honest a lot of it helps. He has his ways as do I, but bottom line is I thank God for having him in my life.
  
• Why did my mother call me when I was sleeping and question why I hadn't unpacked my suitcase yet? I didn't have the time to tell her I am clearing out the house so why unpack and create more mess. She never has conversations for more than a minute on her cell phone, especially when calling from overseas.
• Sometimes I call on Jesus, sometimes I call on God. It still confuses me. Regardless I'm sure he's listening.
• For me and some of those around me things may not be 100% fine and dandy, but I feel totally at peace about the future...maybe because I prayed so hard about it and asked God to seriously make it not be an issue and work on it for me and them. Guess the peaceful feeling can be equated to that of faith. If I was to sit here worrying about it, probably means I have little to no faith that I've asked God to take care of it and believe that he will.
• Rain and wind at 6am in London. I remember waking up a year ago to heavy rain in Koh Lanta at 6 in the morning and it was the best sight and sound ever. 
• I don't like London, but I'll accept it for what it is, and appreciate it.
• 3 weeks away did me the world of good. You get back here and everything that bothered you doesn't anymore. The banging outside early in the morning, the rude people, the crowds, the dull weather it's like whatever!!!
• I got a ton of stuff to do today. I'm not going to over extert myself, but I'm not going to be lazy about it either.
• One thing at a time. I'm surprised I managed to start clearing out one room and not do 2 or 3 like I used to do then get frustrated that nothing got done when I wanted it to be done. If it takes me a week to do one room then so be it. Not doing another one till that one is done.
• My mind works over-time. If I got paid for thinking I'd be richer than Bill Gates.
• I looked at some of the blogs I'm subscribed to. I REALLY DON'T give a rats arse about who's wearing Miu Miu, what the new colours are for this season, and who is dating who. I really don't!!
• I love having a laptop as well as a desktop. It means on mornings like this I can catch up with I'm a celebrity from my bed.
• I am BLESSED and really need to remember that! ALWAYS.
• When you feel good on the inside, that's the hardest time to stick close to God like glue. When you feel like crap...BAM....everyone gets on their knees and prays. I don't want to be like that.
• It's actually very easy to be the bigger person and to admit to being wrong and sorry. Wish I'd known about that a few decades ago, but hey...you literally live and you learn.
• Katie Price better not turn over a new leaf in the jungle and have me feeling sorry/sympathy towards her. I'm a dedicated Team Andre supporter.
• I mean seriously, how lovely is Peter Andre??? Does that woman know how many women would kill for a man, husband and father like Peter and she treated him like crap, and publicly at that.
• So I hear 2012 ain't all that...seeing it anyway.
• I really need to watch some films I've refused to see.  I could be missing out on some good movies or actually surprise myself at what I might like. I have The Duchess downstairs, that maybe one I'll start with rather than send it back.
• Rev Run speaks a TON of sense. I'll take his wisdom over Deepak Chopra's anyday. Deepak is just long winded for my liking. I don't want to look up in a dictionary what you mean if you are trying to inspire me.
• I have less than a month till the Miley Cyrus concert...It's for my cousin Ronni, not for me! I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy it though.
• Today I had a strong desire to want to be in Thailand. Not Bangkok but back on that little island of Koh Lanta. I'll go back again. There's nothing from stopping that happening again.
• I don't want to drop asleep at 5pm again today. I really don't. Jesus be a case of Red Bull and a packet of Pro Plus.
• Ronni has her first football match today. I don't want to hear about any bruises because I am not ready for jail.
• Rev Run said yesterday that a day without prayer is a boast to God. A boast that you can do just fine without him.
• So the VAT goes back up to 17.5% Jan 1st 2010.  Nice!!
• And the travel fares too. **rolls eyes** It's OK Mr Gubment tek it!! 
• I'm not (and never) wait till the New Year to make changes. It Maybe Nov 18th but it feels like my New Year today. What's the point in waiting, tomorrow is never promised right.
• When I came back from Dallas, had a New Mexico brochure sent to me (which I forgot I requested online).  Really want to got to NM **puts it on the list**
• I got over one of my fears. I held an animal. A little Yorskshire Terrier puppy. She was so cute. I want one!!! Then we went back to another PetLand and saw another Yorkie puppy this one was crazy, running all over the place. I can't lie he scared me a little. Anyone that knows me, knows I am not an animal person. Never ever wanted a dog, but now that's all I can think about. I want that puppy dammit!!! And no I will not be dressing it up in clothes.

• I found it funny when my friend said ever so clamly "It's been proven that dogs don't like being dressed up in clothes." I don't know if it was what she said or how she said it. I bet they paid a ton of money researching that dog don't like being dressed up.
• It's time for a girly get together. Looks like I'll be organising it then. I swore I wouldn't do it as no one else does. But you know what...whatever!!! And this time I'm not gonna get mad at those that don't respond or act all fussy. You don't have a right to be when you're not doing the organising.
• Mad for Reenie that her cuz brought her swine flu infected daughter to see her. Bang outta order!!
  
• I think it's time I watch I'm A Celebrity from the bed, shower then get on with the rest of my day.
• Ummm am I missing something, where is the spellcheck???

Just Another Girl On the G.O.D. Tip

When I hit 30, I thought this would be the age of a new dawn. I thought that it would be the time that God was going to bless me with everything I’ve ever wanted and from here on now it would be the best damn time of my life right up until I draw my last breath. Yes, I know you maybe giving me the side eye right now. I am too, at my damn self!

What is it with this age 30 anyway? Why do we use this age as some type of benchmark for everything to be OK and wonderful in our lives of where it‘s going to get so much better? I like to pride myself on being an intelligent woman, but I was actually dumb enough to believe this to be true, that 3 decades in I’m going to be rewarded some fantastic prize JUST for making it through 3 decades of walking the earth.

I have been 30 for just under 4 months, and boy oh boy let me tell you, it doesn’t go downhill but it doesn’t get any easier either.  When I refer to the term ‘easier’ it’s not that things are so bad you just want to curl up and die, but I think it’s an age of serious reflection but on a scarier level. You’re out of your 20’s, a comfort zone, a decade where you know the difference between right and wrong, although during this time it’s OK to get it wrong and screw up “cause you’re in your 20’s” so you get a pass. 30 is that responsible age, where everybody expects you should have some idea of where you ought to be and if you’re not there then shame on you, and better get moving quick time, or else you‘ll be deemed a failure.  I don’t want to be pressured with my 30’s and all of these false expectations that come with it, but I sure don’t want to be that dumb naive idiot thinking that it becomes perfect from here on out, and that life will be a bunch of roses going forward.

There are many things I do not like about myself that I want to change, and am in the process of working on. One of them, which I’ve mentioned before is my mouth…the cursing **draws a line across the neck several times** It has to stop. I’ve been doing pretty well actually the past few days, and long may it continue.

Another thing, being ‘strong’ when it wasn’t necessary. Strong and a problem solver. I was trying in many instances in my life to solve my own problems, rather than doing what I should have been doing, pray about my problems, and hand them over to God. I didn’t want to ‘bother him’ I’m sure there are times when you’ve felt that your problem was insignificant compared to those losing their homes, starving or living in war torn countries. Your prayer was to maybe find a way to get that car, promotion or pay rise. It all seemed too selfish to even bother God with.  It has taken me a VERY long time, but I can actually say that it is OK to ask for things and it is OK to feel deserving of things from God. I’m not destitute, but that doesn’t mean that I cannot want more from God, especially if it’s in his plan to give it to me.  It’s not a sin to want certain things…(within reason of course) I’m not talking about “Lord bless me with a big house, a fancy car, a lottery win and a luxury holiday please.” I think we’re grown to know what are genuine wants and needs from God through prayer. And if you don’t…well I’m sure you can pray for help in that arena.

Why is it when we do something that is good for us, and we feel better because of it that we stop and fall off? Even when we see results?
    For me my ‘good thing’ or should I say ‘great thing’ is prayer. When I pray, I talk aloud walk around my house, clean and tidy and talk to God as I would to a girlfriend on the phone. I ramble, I lose my place, and I deviate from what I’m saying. Even when I lose my wording I look up and say “Ummm well you know what I mean even though I can’t get it out” And trust me God knows what I’m saying even if it is gibberish. I used to be able to do this for hours. I couldn’t wait to get home and just talk to God aloud, and the feeling that I felt afterwards, I was ready for anything.

Why that stopped, I don’t know. Soon after I was conscious, it had been months since I said one prayer. It didn’t bother me as much because my mindset then was, “well if I’m making it without prayer, then I’m stronger than I think and doing pretty damn well on my own.” Things may not have been going bad for me during my prayer drought, but they could have been greater. I was coasting in life.

I’m tired of coasting.

I said something to God (aloud) today that even surprised me. I said “Lord I want to change my life for the better.” Trust me for a hard-headed person like myself that was like the equivalent of a desperate plea.

I’m tired of coasting.

Just as I need to eat and sleep to function physically as a human being, I need prayer and God in my life daily, or spiritually I’m going to be always running on empty.

I want great things in my life. I’m actually ready to receive them and be thankful for them. I’m even prepared for the hardships that come my way. I’m ready for when things go well that the devil rears his ugly head and fills my head with reasons to turn and run in the opposite direction of something that God has prepared for me. The devil doesn’t want you to have what God has in store for you. I was sometimes under the impression that God puts us through difficult situations to punish us for something that we‘ve done. That’s actually not the case. It’s the devil making us think that God is punishing us. If you think someone is punishing you, do you really thing they will be the first port of call for solace and advice?
    When you think that way you either go to God asking “Why? Why? Why?” So consumed with the “why?” that you haven’t taken a moment to listen to the stillness (of which God regularly speaks to us in) and try to hear him and understand his teaching and purpose, or… we don’t go to him at all. The devil loves when we don’t seek solace in God. It’s more time for him to plant seeds of doubt, frustration, anxiety, and depression in all of us. We spend one day away from God, still mad or scared that we’re still in the ‘false punishment’ phase and then another day and another. We get to a point of false security within ourselves where we try to become our own saviour. I’ve done that. It doesn’t work. Trust me, trying to be a Mr/Miss Fix-It person will eventually cause you to become a broken person. YOU CAN’T FIX YOU! When you’re done being everyone else’s crutch, who is there for you or when you have one problem that you can’t fix? You get to a point where still you’re too proud to take it to God, but something eventually has to give.

I’m TIRED of being tired. You get to a point in life where you think every day, week, month, year it’s something. Just be gone, gone, gone, seriously BE GONE! Arguing, bad feeling, resentment, worry, depression and all that other crap, just piss off! If I have to pray for hours every day, listen to Joyce Meyer podcasts, read her daily devotional book, read excerpts from Joel Osteen, read inspirational quotes from the likes of TD Jakes, Rev Run and the like on Twitter just to get me through the damn day, that bit closer to God and keep the devil off my back then, you know something, that’s what I’m going to have to do. I don’t find it extreme, not compared to doing nothing at all and worry worry worry about everything I have no control over. It will spiritually cripple me and lead me into that cycle of only praying about stuff when I’ve exhausted every resource and pray as a last resort instead of my first and only solution.

Maybe I’ve had so many damn problems, because I’ve tried to solve all my damn problems. Right now at this moment, I’m at peace. I prayed for others and myself today, faithfully. I gave it to God, and to be honest I can’t even remember all of my worries. I’m done with trying to be my own hero. 

Without going into detail, the past few weeks have been a very eye-opening lesson and experience for me. Most people would say for the worst, but I know for the better. I’ve learnt a lot about myself, some parts I’m comfortable with, other parts that I’m not. The parts that I’m not, I’m definitely willing to work on and have already started. I found myself in a situation where I wanted to turn around and run away from it because I knew that’s what would have made me feel comfortable. That would have been my peace. At that point, I was not in my comfort zone. Any kind of insecurities, doubts that could have risen from within rose right up and stayed there simmering. I don’t like pressure, anxiety and everything else that it brings, but I think due to the circumstances God put me in a position where running (for once) wasn’t an option and I actually had to work through it the best and worst I could from start to finish. I didn’t like that one bit. I got to a point where I was so overwhelmed with asking question after question, talking about it to try to gain some clarity and understanding that I was exhausted in every sense. I wore myself out. My sleep was constantly broken; every time I woke up I was reminded why after every few hours I was awake. Some mornings I woke up feeling a little sick to the pit of my stomach. Now I know, had I been able to ’run away’ from it, being the person that I am I would have drawn a line under it, washed my hands of it and slept like a baby. Cause that’s me, that’s how I deal with things. “Not this time.” That was what God said to me. “You always run, and cut people off to solve your problems, how about you come to me for once and let me deal with it for you?” That was my ‘exhausted’ moment. God is sitting there tapping his fingers waiting as soon as it hit’s the fan for you to go to him. Instead you put yourself through the motions trying to make head and tail of everything until you’ve had a fair go of it, then are like “OK God, over to you. Sorry it took so long I didn‘t want to bother you.”

Yes, the past few weeks I have learnt A LOT, more than I’ve probably learnt in one go at any one point in my life. What I personally learnt and came to the conclusion about is the true meaning of NOW having to let go and let God and more importantly that it’s OK EVERY TIME a problem arises to say, “I don’t want to deal with this. I’m not going to deal with this. Lord I’m trusting you in faith to work on this for me.” After doing that it is then OK for me to turn and run to getting on with my life and to try and “enjoy the moment.” (Another lesson I’ve learned and trying to get the hang of).

My 'In My Head' Latin/Hispanic Girl Homies

It's not a beauty contest. Just ladies who I think are 'cool people'

No I haven't made a mistake, I didn't forget to add Eva Mendes...I can barely watch any movie she's in.

Roselyn Sanchez, Sofia Vergara, Shakira, Salma Hayek & Paulina Rubio

My 'In My Head' White Girl Homies

Sorry, the likes of Paris Hilton, Brooke Hogan, Miley Cyrus, Britney, Nicole Richie [her white side], Pamela Anderson, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera just get on my damn nerves. Now I would add Heidi Montag-Pratt to my 'in my head homie' list if she wasn't just plain evil to Lauren, but I'll give her props, even with help in the hair & make-up department she is pretty. That's all you're getting from me Heidi.

Now y'all know, this is the 'tell it like it is spot' not all but a lot of white folks get on my nerves...PRIMARILY cause without fail in my experience they say some dumb shit around black folks regarding race/colour or just "want to touch my hair."

NO YOU CANNOT TOUCH MY DAMN HAIR....only my 'In My Head' white girl homies can, and ask dumbass questions about what we do, why we do it and how we do it as a people.

But don't worry folks my disdain is for people of all races at times, and being black my own damn people get on my nerves a little too often...

...so today I pay homage to my celeb 'In My Head' White Girl Homies.

**Drum roll please**

Megan Fox & Lauren Conrad

I don't care what none of y'all say [poor use of the English language on purpose], these girls are just so fly... Latina, Asian and Black 'In My Head' homies...coming soon.

Can't believe I forgot to add Juliette Lewis, Sandra Bullock, Eliza Dushku & Kim Catrall to the list.

Will 'Tangle Teezer' Be The End To My Hair Tangle Woes?

I saw this guy on Dragon's Den over a year ago. He had a simple product that de-tangled wet hair with ease that minimised breakage and seemed to effortlessly glide through hair with no problem.

Right now I have a K Cutter comb, Bone comb, Denman brush just to do the same damn thing after a hair wash. Tired of it to be honest. And when I go away I don't want to be taking all that crap with me in a suitcase.

Isn't it about time I bit the bullet and paid under £10 for one of these to see if it works. My hair is longer and thicker and as well as length, health is paramount to me.

He didn't get the backing from the Dragons, but he went on to do very well in his business.

You can get the Tangle Teezer on eBay for £9.75 [FREE postage] or direct from the Tangle Teezer Website £9.77 [PLUS postage]

I will be a guinea pig and I'll keep you informed of my progress with the Tangle Teezer on my 4B 'texlaxed' hair.

Here is the video of his pitch on the Dragon's Den. I actually thought they were idiots NOT to get on board with this product. The Black haircare industry ALONE is worth over $1 Billion, and the last time I checked, Asians, Hispanics, Whites and Indians all had hair.

The Tangle Teezer pitch to the Dragon's begins at 2:32. Dude was pulling on the mannequin head with some menace, but out of his 2468 feedback on eBay plus it being at 100% I think I'm gonna part with my cash and have a go!

....Off to order mine!

She Had To Have It - Maxi Dresses on eBay

Whatever height I am, whether it's 5'8 or 5'9 I'm not exactly sure, for a woman and judging by clothing standards I'm pretty tall. When it comes to dresses, it's either ultra short of ultra long. I do not do that in between length unless it's a 'occasion dress,' so when I found a seller on eBay who sold maxi dresses [which I love] specifically for tall women I was in heaven. So far I have 2 from this seller, one in black the other in a pale blue print and have my eye on the white dress and brown dress. [pictured]. They are very reputable have 100% feedback and their shipping is fast [they are UK based].

No zips, or buttons, what you see is what you get with these dresses. The whole top part is comfortably elasticated at the top which means whether you are a size 8 - 16 it will fit. No restrictions, no tight spots or figure hugging areas on the dress just slip it on and go, and it stays on. What I love about them as well it they practically hit the floor, so even when worn with 4 inch heels it's still pretty long.

So over the years whether you lose a bit of weight or gain it, it's one dress you'll have no problem getting into in the summertime.

The seller on eBay can be found here

In The UK, But Want To Watch TV On US Blocked Websites?

If you're a TV junkie and want to watch some TV shows and movies on US sites which are blocked in the UK like the US MTV site, Hulu.com, NBC, ABC etc then there's a handy lil gadget you can download to your PC.

I've had no problems with this and when I want to watch Hulu.com I simply switch it on [I never have it running on start up] first log on to the site and it give me a US IP address, and hey presto you're watching your fave US TV shows.

It's called Hotspot Shield you can download it here. Thank goodness I don't have this problem when I want to catch up with all the good crap on BET.com.

She's Gotta Have It - Littlewoods

Winter time is coming, that means September for the UK folks. I have my eye on this padded jacket. It's only £55. I saw it last week, am still in love with it this week, which means I'm supposed to have it.

UPDATE: Got it, and at a discount too They also had the Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Patent Leather shoes I've had my eye on too....discounted as well. Sorry I'm not paying big bucks for canvas.Now I have to find a decent pair of 'Boyfriend Jeans' with a long enoughi inside leg to wear with my Converse and I'll be a happy bunny.

Paper Bags & Light Switches Were Invented For Dudes Like This...

Sheree "who gone check me boo" Whitfield from The Real Housewives of Atlanta ex-husband. Bob Whitfield.

And just prove that wasn't a bad picture or that he was caught off guard with the camera shot...

Now I am not one for women wanting all this spousal support crap, from my Tyrese Rent & Car Payment is NOT Child Support!! blog post you know my feelings on that. But in this instance Sheree, you laid down with that for 17 years and only 3 of em married, girl I am not mad at you for claiming a lil sumthin but only in the form of C.O.M.P.E.N.S.A.T.I.O.N. I would be so mad having to look up at that during....OK let me just stop right there with the unnecessary visual. I mean I know they say love is blind, but ladies you know it ALWAYS happens when you're done with a brotha and you feel disgusted that you even dated him, let alone touched you. What must Sheree be thinking now it's over. I bet during an argument the words "cock-eyed and bastard" were thrown around their Georgia mansion! 17 years, how did you even manage something as simple as conversation. You must have argued every time you were out, accusing him of looking at other women when he was looking at you all along.

Trying to say something positive....

...bet he had a real nice personality. *whistles*

So Fake To The Point Your REAL Hair Makes The News!

"Tyra Banks has given fans a sneak peak of her new haircut. The model-turned-presenter has now posted a picture of herself on Twitter - but blurred the photograph to avoid her new look being properly unveiled before the return of her talk show, 'The Tyra Banks Show', next month. Alongside the picture, she wrote: 'Here's me rockin my REAL hair, had 2 blur it so its still a surprise on Sept 8! Who else is sportin their real hair that day? (sic)' Tyra has previously declared September 8 'National Real Hair Day' in honour of her new look. Speaking about the show, she vowed: 'No fake hair at all! Will be the hair coming out of my scalp! 4 all 2 C! No ponytails, no ballet un head. Hair will be out and free"

Oh Lord Ty Ty Baby Banks, give me strength sweetie. I really wish her rich banker boyfriend would just wife her and she goes and has some babies somewhere. The general consensus about Tyra is that she's not all that nice, personable, self involved and her show hinders rather than helps black women and issues. Seems like a lot of the topics she does on her show pisses a lot of people off. And here's another one....

So to remain even more relevant Tyra is revealing her natural lace front free hair for the whole season of her new show.

Who actually cares? What is the world coming to when a woman takes off her wig and it causes this much controversy. Is this the best that Tyra can do? She gets a doctor to come on to her show to prove her breasts are real and now she's got to show us she has hair too.

....waiting for the surgeon to confirm the rhinoplasty surgery. That's nose job..... From the look of it she's had the bridge narrowed and nostrils made smaller. And probably had more than one surgery over the years as well. If there are pictures from yesteryear, why do these celebs continue to deny it. And no that's not a make up contouring job, there's only so much make-up can do.

Good surgeon though!

My take on the whole story...."Whatever Tyra! Although I respect your hustle and your futile attempts to remain relevant."

MJ Is The New Elvis!!

Conspiracies are rife. I just logged on the Innnnernet, and saw this video of what claims to be Michael Jackson coming out of the back of a coroners van.

"A video posted on the internet claiming to show Michael Jackson stepping out of a coroner's van has stoked conspiracy theories that the King Of Pop is still alive.

The shaky, hand-held footage taken in a darkened underground car park sees a man climbing out of an ambulance.

There is no suggestion that the clip is genuine, and the man's face is completely obscured. Even the number plate of the ambulance cannot be seen.

Conspiracy theorists, however, are likely to jump on the video and claim that it is proof that Jackson's death was faked.

The person who posted the 29-second clip to the video-sharing website LiveLeak said the footage had come from a 'trustworthy source' but refuses to name who it is.

Conspiracy theories are rife on the internet, with many claiming that their moon landings were faked, the September 11th attacks were staged and that President Obama is not a US citizen.

The LA coroner confirmed Jackson had lethal levels of propofol in his body when he died in June at the age of 50"

You can't see much except a thin MJ like frame pale face, which wasn't even clear and a shoulder length black wig.

Faking your death is illegal and if caught you will be imprisoned for it.

Secondly who the hell rides in the back of a coroner's van, hops out and goes through a secret entrance.

Also who just lies in wait with a video camera/cell phone waiting to film it?

There are 2 possible answers to this video:

1. It is indeed Michael Jackson and he did fake his own death.

or the more realistic...

2. This whole video was planned and orchestrated with an MJ lookalike, setup to be filmed and sold to the media worldwide for money and attention.

What do you think?

I think #2. but personally I hope it's him and he is alive...could you imagine the global frenzy shoot I'd have 10 packets of popcorn beside me watching this whole mess go down on every news channel. Only because outside of my life I like to watch a lil drama, and there needs to be a dead celebrity who is in fact alive..please in my lifetime let it happen...just the once!! But seriously when you're the most odd looking and most famous man on the planet, where are you going to hide out? Ummm is he going to undergo reconstructive surgery to disguise his look for the 14th time?

Thoughts of the Day

• I wish people knew how to use voicemail. If you call my house, then my mobile, and then my mobile again either (a) I don't want to talk to you, (b) I'm unavailable. LEAVE A MESSAGE. Don't do the same thing on Monday and then Tuesday.
  
• I've had a 'can't be bothered' attitude for about 3-4 weeks now. Feel like I haven't done shit in a long ass time.
• I shouldn't have to ask for my money back. I don't lend people money, this was due to a refund for the Michael Jackson tickets, but please, after I booked em, gave you the 50% of the tickets, processed the refund, then 6 weeks later for me to ask "where is the refund?" is ridiculous.
  
• I still don't lend people money, I'd rather you just have it, but you'd have to be very, very, very close to me in order for me to even want to say "here just have it." Causes too many damn problems trying to get what's yours back. I don't lend A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G out. I'm not mean. I'm sensible. It keeps my blood pressure to a minimum.
  
• The only thing going well right about now is my weight gain. Still don't trust those digital scales though.
• Miss Understood.
• I'm going to shut down my Fotki account. People still e-mail me asking me for the password and questions advice on haircare. I really have not and cannot be bothered...hey at least I'm honest.
• I put Beverley Hills Chihuahua on my HIGH priority list to send me out next for my DVD rental, do you think one of the 3 DVD's coming to me tomorrow is about a prissy, diva talking dog??? The hell it is NOT!
  
• What is it going to take to get me 'back to normal'?
• Tired of being tired. How much sleep can one person have in a 24 hr period?
• I feel the only person that 'gets me' is a 7yr old. And no it's not my imaginary friend.
• Don't assume....ASK!
• I'm addicted to Subway.
• What's the point of addressing something/someone in the hope of feeling better and getting it out of your system, only to feel ten times worse for doing it? There is none. Listen to your gut. Shut up. Try and sleep it off.
  
• Why did my cousin give up smoking when pregnant, and now her daughter is a matter of weeks old she's breastfeeding and smoking? I am not surprised though, wouldn't expect anything less from her.
• The problem is not necessarily having the problem within yourself. It's when you don't address it and refuse to do anything about it. That is the bigger problem.
  
• I have computer rage right about now. How many times do I have to reboot this thing?
• Aww well...."like attracts like" If I'm having a shitty day, then shitty things will follow I suppose.
• I woke up in the not so greatest of moods, went for a 3.6 mile walk (thanks Google Maps for the accuracy), listened to my Ipod which usually makes me feel better. I didn't. Was worried about the amount of weight I'd lose on this long walk on an empty stomach so made sure I ate 3 Auntie Anne's pretzels on the walk back home which was a total of 1220 calories.
  
• I broke my walking on the street and eating rule. But today I really didn't care. It was hardly fried chicken, jerk pork or pizza, that I see a ton of people doing. Plus 3.6 miles walking on an empty stomach whilst trying to gain weight...PLEASE.
  
• My legs were so tired so I came home and slept through Family Guy [again]....that's all I seem to bloody do.
• I shouldn't wish for it and don't want it [again] but I'd rather have PCOS than PMS.
• Speaking of PCOS, why do I know so many women that have it over ones that don't, and doctors claim it's only 10% of women that suffer from it...yeah whatever!!!
• My goal of finishing my book by the end of 2009 may not happen. I can try, but......well we'll see.
• Don't ask me what the above is about. Not yet anyway.
  
• Haven't yet decided if Rihanna has a great sense of style, or a great stylist.
• Beyonce has neither. This girl cannot dress for shit.
• Mariah can only get it right about once a year.
• Tired of white kids dying from a drug overdose in a club and them making the news like they died for some worthy cause. When it's black folks, we're junkies or crackheads. They were a good girl with a promising future ahead of her, and not into this lifestyle says the delusional white mother and father.
  
• The word swag doesn't bother me at all, but 'epic fail' certainly does.
• Now if you could put a picture to word swag of someone who I think epitomises that I would definitely have to say Jay-Z. Nothing about the money, but I can definitely see why Beyonce married him.
• Why does she look more like his #1 groupie than his wife?
• The more I see them together, the more I like Nick & Mariah as a couple.
• After my online class I'm gonna watch Tiny & Toya dammit.
• I can't stand Toya, no one cares you were married to the Critter aka Lil Wayne. We didn't even know before the show. And no one wants to read your non juicy book either. You've been divorced for 300 years get over it.
• I do like Tiny though. I may not understand what she says half the time, but she seems cool.
• Shame on T.I. for being another controlling bastard, even from behind a prison cell. I hope Tiny does get back to work and does something for herself other than being another black woman to a black man keeping her interested with not 1 but 2 engagement rings.
• Yes I'm 3 years late, watched Stomp The Yard [in full] the other day and enjoyed it. A LOT!
• Is Gerard Butler the new Russell Crowe...Let's hope so. Like Nicole Kidman anything with Crowe in it you have to FORCE me to watch.
  
• Is there a black movie out there, without Meagan Good? So glad her ass got tore up in Saw 5. One of my favourite parts.
  
• I really want to take that Hip-Hop dance class, but if I'm feeling lazy now is not the right time to be thinking about getting hella active.
• How hard is it in London to find somewhere to get your nose pierced? Still in 2 minds about getting the belly button done though.
  
• Had my nose pierced when I was 18 then went to work in the corporate world. Didn't feel it was appropriate. No longer in the corporate world...appropriate!
• So no more Big Brother......[I'm a little saddened by this], but if they keep making trash like Charm School etc I'll be alright.
• Hungry, and not a clue of what I want to eat...Subway maybe???
• I don't care what anyone says that South African 'girl' is a dude. And if it's a girl then she's definitely into girls. The one from the world championships. *Shudders* I'll post pics in another blog post.
• There is one girl on Twitter who cracks me up. Funnily enuogh she reminds me of myself. Jamaican fam and her birthday is a day after mine...not surprised. She definitely keeps it real.
• Love Twitter, hate Myspace, thinking about closing my Facebook account.
• My mood has lightened by 0.01% since writing this blog. *Note to self* do NOT call my mother until I've eaten again, as she may set me back 1,000 steps and send me to the damn asylum.
  

Come Back? Please Go Away!

I must be the ONLY ONE that doesn't care about this particular comeback!

Talented, yes...whatever!!! *blah blah blah*

I actually don't care, nor can I even get excited, or even slightly curious to listen to any sample tracks of Whitney's new album.

I was already bored from the album cover. I don't even care if I'm proved wrong and it's a late summer smash!

In Death, Does Aaliyah Get Way Too Much Credit??

I don't know if it's just my generation and older who remembered Aaliyah in the 90's before she passed, but my thought today was "OK how many of you remember the date of the anniversary of Dr Martin Luther King's Birthday or Nelson Mandela's release date from prison?" Not saying the death of Aaliyah cannot be commemorated, but do you feel where I'm coming from? If you're going to be a braniac of historical dates that are prominent in the black community on a global scale then learn a few more and pay homage on those too, and not just Aaliyah, Left Eye, Biggie & 2Pac.

So I've been a lil off Twitter today. I've seen the Aaliyah tweets go by and some folks mention that the whole compare Aaliyah to another artist thing is going on and that they feel it's totally unnecessary...OK, whatever to each their own. You wanna talk about it fine, not a problem, I'll blog about it. 140 characters just aren't cutting it for me right about now.

Maybe it's just me but I'm pretty sure that Ciara would have been doing her thing in the new millennium had Aaliyah been around or not. I'm sorry I'm not about to give Aaliyah that much credit especially when looking at Ci-Ci her huge major influences are Janet and Michael Jackson. Aside from that both are/were vocally not that great, both dance/danced. Aaliyah went to a stage school her choreographed moves weren't all that free flowing [pretty much like how JLO's were] and Ciara is more street/crunk when it comes to her dance flow, which appear to be more natural and not learnt/rehearsed. Aaliyah had it going on in the looks department and they are both black women. Done!

Like I just tweeted to someone, Aaliyah was likeable, attractive and had a great production team behind her. She was pally with the likes of Missy, Timbaland, Ginuwine and DMX who at the time were VERY on top of their game, then some years later Ciara rolled with Missy and Luda.

Times change, music changes. I think it's highly arrogant to assume that Aaliyah was that much of a force in the industry that had there of been no Aaliyah there would have been no Ciara and whoever else that followed. I found her music bearable...meaning, aside from the tracks that were released I had no desire to listen to the rest of her albums. Now I can understand when artists say had it weren't for the likes of Michael Jackson then they don't think they'd be where they are at in terms of their influence. But Aaliyah...no. I hear a lot of "she was an angel. She will be dearly missed" etc etc. Not somebody who set the standard and made a pathway for other young up and coming artists. **shakes head** I have never heard that.

Aaliyah was a beautiful, nice [portrayed in the media] girl, OK so her career started off a lil dramatic with the whole R.Kelly marriage drama. She showed her stomach, wore her hair covered over her eye, wore boxers, danced to a routine and sang softly with no real vocal range and power.

Sorry the only thing she influenced me with was being acceptable to be a tomboy and regain that totally feminine side at the same time. She was one of those girls who you didn't mind your teenage boyfriend liking cause you liked her too [no not in that sense], but like I said she had that nice girl quality about her. Very likeable, like the sister or friend [in your head] knowing that if you met in real life you'd be cool. And yes many years on I still "wave my hands in the air, and wave em round like I just don't care" in the club.

Like today....we have a barrage of female artists whether they are hip-hop, pop or R&B, they are all doing their thing in the industry. And I'm sure that whether Aaliyah had graced the Billboard charts or not they would still be there doing their thing today.

I'm sure Aaliyah would have gotten to a point where the popularity would have died down on the music side, before she passed it seemed as though acting was becoming more of her thing, and I'm sure as the likes of Ciara may have liked her music and respected her as a fellow female artist they would have been both been able to hold their own in the music world today.

If folks want to go there with the whole comparison thing with like for like, and I'm talking in respect to a black recording artist, beautiful, mediocre singer and badass dancer then they need to stop being blinded by Aaliyah and give it up for Janet. I'm sorry, hand on heart I'd be more inclined to say had there been no Janet Jackson then maybe Ciara wouldn't be inspired or motivated to do what she does. Shit y'all... Control, Rhythm Nation 1814 the Janet album, fair enough Miss Jackson "if you're nasty" was never a Whitney or Mariah, but when it comes to "give me a beat!" Janet is on it.

What???? When it comes to female entertainers who fit the mould past and present like Aaliyah, Ciara, Mya etc Janet is the teacher the others merely students.

So no I don't credit Aaliyah for the like of newish-bies like Ciara when it comes to doing what they do. And just because she's passed and has been for 8 years am I about to sport a dunce cap and do a 'we are not worthy' motion in front of her statue like she was the best we ever had. I liked Aaliyah I was just not excited by her like I was by Janet growing up. Although Janet isn't doing it like she was, she's the baddest of em them all in her field...that's if you want to make comparisons......

And all this "there will never be another Aaliyah.." OK as a human being, a presence on this earth yes there will never be, but as an artist, what legacy did she leave behind?

Why do we act the fool when people pass and give them much more credit than we didn't give them when they were here?

"Simple Simon!" This New Format Is Too Complicated!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I do not apologise for my love of reality TV. Whether it be ghetto trash like Flavor of Love or Charm School to American Idol or The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I'd rather watch pre-conceived reality scripts over soap operas any day.

Rewind to last Saturday 7pm ITV1, I was soooooo excited to see the return of X Factor, and about 30 minutes into it, I couldn't escape faster from my TV set.

They have...no scratch that, SIMON COWELL has gone and screwed up a brilliant format...how? By simply having the audience be a part of the best bit of 4 months of Saturday night viewing. I don't need to hear the audience booing or cheering. I don't want to see backstage shots of these nobodies taking to the stage and performing to a backing track. It's pure and utter crap and I DON'T LIKE IT. Am I the only one in agreement who thought, Louis, Dannii, Cheryl and Simon in a room of pure silence with a crap audition was pure comedy? Even at home in your living room you felt the tension right along with them and just the expressions of the 4 judges were enough alone to make you piss your pants. Now it's like watching it with 20,000 other people giggling over the parts you want to be hearing in silence.

X Factor: New format. Hate it. I didn't laugh once, and I read that in the 90 minute show only 7 auditions were shown.

Simon I think you're smelling yourself a little mate.

Now onto X Factor rant #2. Danyl The prick with an even more jumped up spelt name than himself. Some of you loved him. Some of you hated him. Well whilst I was eating my 10p Tesco Value Noodles he put me right off. Sorry sweetheart, with your racially ambiguous self you weren't that cute. Simon seems to like the mixed contestants. This dude can sing an old Joe Cocker song and Simon's veneers are all a gleaming. When the brotha came out singing a classic before him, Simon gave him hell and asked him for something more current before allowing him through. I've peeped Simon do this a lot on X Factor and American Idol. I don't think he likes the black singers too much, talented or not, he always has something derogatory to say regarding their song choice or they 'sang it with too much soul/sounded like they were in a gospel choir' Whatever Simon. We all know for you that marketing black artists is a hard task for you as opposed to the white/mixed contestants. I've watched enough seasons of talent shows where Simon is a judge to notice this trait. He's not fooling me.

Back onto Danyl. Arrogant twat. Sorry, I was not moved. So what you can sing. I always say this, 99.9% of the people that make it through onto X Factor wouldn't even get past the audition stage on American Idol. Maybe I've been spoiled by the talent that I've seen on Idol and when it comes to watching the UK counterparts I don't care for any of them. This year past, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert were killing it each and every week. Down to earth guys with killer voices. They knew they were hella talented yet remained humble throughout. This Danyl comes out with a Joe Cocker song, moves the mic back and forth from each hand 3 times and the audience starts screaming like he did a Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas one handed cartwheel whilst singing. So Danyal you sat on the stage pointed, winked and sung to the ladies. Am I missing something here? I was not impressed. And everybody was WOW WOW WOW. Now to me that was mediocre.

Now word on the street is he's the new 'Susan Boyle' and some US talk show wants to interview him as he's had nearly a million hits on You Tube. **ROLLS EYES**

Does anyone remember the black guy who was friends with Danny Gokey on Idol and didn't make it to the finals, he had a bit of a Pharell vibe/look to him?? Well that guy could sing rings around Danyl and where was the hype and the fuss? There is none because raw talent seems to be a plenty stateside. Now had he been a UK contestant and sung the same way, there would have been a frenzy.

I AM EMBARRASSED that Danyl and the likes of Susan Boyle garner so much interest especially in America of their average performances. And please tell me why when someone can sing to a decent standard in the UK the whole country goes crazy?

Leona ain't no damn Mariah, shoot she's not even a Jordin Sparks and Jordin can sang...yes sang...I watched that girls every performance and she can blow. Shoot she (Leona) is not even a Jennifer Hudson or Fantasia. Alexandra ain't no Beyonce and as much as I rooted for her last year and like the girl, listening back to her performance with Bey is a lil painful to hear now. She's good but she's not great.

Now I'm watching the audition back, and dudes vocals aren't all that. I bet I could sound great lifting my leg up, arms flailing to make a somewhat decent vocal appear amazing.

I AM NOT CONVINCED.

THAT does not warrant a US TV appearance. Americans if you see him, turn the channel. PLEASE!

And what kills me is this...1 show and he's already the winner...? Siddown UK, Siddown!! All of the Susan Boyle hype and some street dancers beat her. I hope history repeats itself. I'd much prefer Austin Drage come back from last year and make it through. Man was I pissed when I cam back from holiday and he was gone. Pure kiss teet a gwan!!!

And for the ladies that love him, want him, need him, he swings both ways and is an open bisexual. But hey, at least he isn't on the DL. Right?

And let's stop with the overuse of this damn word amazing, and reserve it for artists who truly are. Maybe now being 30 and have a lil old skool years behind me I can say x,y and z were truly amazing at their craft. No Danyl was not amazing to me, it was not 25th Anniversary Grammy Billie jean performance that will stand the test of time. Michael Jackson was amazing, Prince is amazing, Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Patti LaBelle, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey vocally and as performers. One dry head man performs a Joe Cocker song and now the dude is amazing. NO. HE. IS. NOT. If he's amazing, I am legendary.

What do you think of his performance? You can see it here