I am so tired of being overly considerate of people’s feelings, when they aren't always of mine, it’s literally beginning to make me sick to the pit of my stomach. So you offend me. Even if it is in jest, a wise thought would be to think before you speak. I then let you know that’s it's not OK with regard to what you said, then you wanna get mad at ME for telling YOU how it is.
I’m a joker by nature, I like to have a laugh. but don’t push my buttons. I don’t even have a 3 strikes and you’re out rule anymore. If you find you’re constantly aggravating me or making me mad, or I’m having to have words with you, then I think it’s best that before I do to remove my name from your buddy list, phone book, e-mail address book or wherever the hell you have my contact details, cause chances are I’m about to do it at some point without looking back. And I’m not gonna make any announcements about it either.
A little harsh, some might say, but I look at it this way. I’ve had friends still in my phone book who I’ve known since 5 years old. All my dearest friends closest to me I’ve know for well over 10 years. The longest being 23 years this year, and I still have 23 months before I hit the big 3-0. I’ve known three of them for 13 years, another for 17 years and another for about 20 years. We’ve been there for each other, had our own ups and downs, but none of these long term buddies have I ever had a serious falling out with to the point I’m ready to just pack them in. I’m no where near dead yet (I hope) but I’d like to think I’ve made a solid base in those I’m going to know until my dying days. When you find friends like these every other friend or potential friend you meet along the way are held up to these guys like a measuring stick. You know that after making it past a decade and with females at that, that somewhere in each of them is a quality and uniqueness you’d find hard to find in many other folks. So most times if you don’t pass the test against my ‘measuring stick’ of friends, then the chances are we won’t last long in the friendship department at all.
Let me try and explain this in a better way, before people start thinking I have an interviewing process when it comes to friendships or something, like I hire and fire with the quickness of Donald Trump, or that in order for our friendship to be of some value it has to have sustained at least a decade that is has with my girls. Not so!
I can honestly say that I have a drama free life. That includes, work, personal, social, financial in all aspects there is NO drama. I can’t deal with it and I personally don’t perpetuate it in other people’s lives. Now my girls, as I call them, in this aspect are the exact same way. The day one of them decides it’s OK to get her point across by raising her voice and or getting in my face you better believe that would be the beginning of the end on all counts. We've lost respect to a degree if we can't talk it out like rational human beings.
Now to some it may sound trivial, but we have an underlying and utmost respect for one another to know not even to cross that line. My girls are not like a lot of women whom I see, out and about, we were raised not dragged up and can get thoughts and feelings across in a decent respectable manner without resorting to raised voices, wailing, and the pulling of hair. We know how to speak to one another, we don't get mad if a phone call or a text isn't returned, we don't see each other for long periods of time, but we don't get mad about it. We have an understanding, we all have lives, we are all busy, and fair enough sometimes it's hard to make time with conflicting schedules or commitments that some of them have which include husbands, work, children or children on the way, we're mature enough to accept that no matter what, no matter how long time passes when we get together it was like picking up where we left off usually in high school days, and we can have a laugh and a giggle catch up on the good old days or talk about what's going on in the here and now.
One of the Westwood crew , whom after getting married went AWOL for 5 years phoned me 3 weeks ago. Now I know some people would have cut her off, but to me it didn't even cross my mind, I missed her and wanted to find out how she was, we had no falling out, nothing. I just accepted that after the last part of contact was in telling me she'd lost the baby she was carrying, that living out of London it was hard to maintain all of the friendships as well as trying to get down into the crux of married life and starting a family. Funnily enough I had exchanged numbers with a girl that used to go to the same Kingdom Hall as her a week prior saying if you see (*let's just call her Mary) give her my number because I haven't heard from her in 5 years. Then low and behold the next weekend as I'm dozing on the couch she calls me with her silly self pretending to be a wrong number. No hostility nothing, just laughter fun and catching up like it was yesterday, talking about the days I used to write songs and watch Mariah Carey videos all the time. Nothing's changed still love Mariah, but don't write the songs anymore.
I guess the key for me and a good solid foundation base to the friendships that we have is maturity, understanding, love and respect for one another. We've come so far from girls to women, we each have had a hand in moulding our identities, the values and morals that we posses just from being around each other. We've never put restrictions on our friendships by making it a point to contact each other x amount of times a weeks/month. It's just what it is.
And going back to my original rant, the reason why I'm so tired of being overly considerate is because I've never had to be that way with my girls. As complex as I am, as are they, they understand me, and I them, and I've never had to justify my thoughts, reasons or actions to them. They just know that's the way Naomi is. The same way I know that's how they are. There is no hard work with them, no second guessing , because like me they speak their mind, with anybody else speaking their mind seems to be a problem. Looking back we were adults before our time. The most sensible, self respectable bunch of girls in school. Donned in our red and grey school uniforms I must say it was probably the best time of my teenage years, and yes we cried at 15 years old when some of us left to go onto college, but we are still very much in each other's lives today like it was yesterday, we just don't sit together at lunch or walk home together.
I've come to a point in my life, at 28, where I've been through the motions over many a year, and I'm coming to that stage of contentment and clarity. Anything with a jagged edge that makes me feel off balance that enters that space, trying to cause disruption or throw me off I feel needs to be ejected with a quickness. Self preservation is what it's all about I feel. Trying to maintain a peaceful balance as one can in this crazy world. Drama, upset, whatever you want to call it, I'm not into entertaining it. If I find I'm constantly being backed into a corner with someone making me feel anything other than happy then there's no place in my life for you or it. I wouldn't even go as far as to seeing if they themselves could change. I'm pretty much done. My tolerance is so low, it's about an inch from the ground, hell maybe even lower.
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