Q: You're a married 30 something with 2 children. You are invited to Hong Kong for a very long weekend, one of the most fantastic cities in the world for and all expenses paid trip by your friend who's pretty well off [to possess a Black Amex well off].
Your partner doesn't fly and although they aren't invited, the point is by being married to this person for 7 years and together for 14 years, they hate flying which means the holidays for you and the children are extremely limited to overseas trips. [The other half hates flying they don't have a fear of it - and there is a difference].
The question is do you go?
My question is why is this even up for debate?
Your friend is between jobs starting a new one in Hong Kong in 6 weeks where he lives and he's bored. All expenses paid and you're still dithering about it. For nearly 2 weeks I've tried to persuade my boss to just go. He is so boring and secure in his little safety bubble that even flying to Hong Kong for a long weekend on his friend's tab is just too much excitement for him. Now it's not the money element he said, but he's made excuse after excuse after excuse not to go. I've already told him, "tell what's-his-face that I'm going if you don't."
His family holidays consist of driving in France because her indoors doesn't fly. Well you know what, leave her at home and take the kids your damn self. My parents took me and my sister on our first holidays at 3 and 5, the same age as his children. And every year after that with the exception of 1986 we went on holiday 1 to 2 times a year.
There is no way I'm going to deprive myself or my children of many worldly wonders just because my partner is acting like a pussy about flying. Well guess what I'm no huge fan of sitting in a cramped seat and eating food out of a foil container wondering if the altitude is going to form blood clots in my legs and kill me, but it lasts for a few damn hours then your transported into a different land, with a different culture, language, food, customs you name it it's different, amazing and beautiful.
When I get married as much as I will look forward to our holidays together, I will encourage him to go off on holiday with his friends too, because I certainly will be going with mine. Sometimes it's good to get away from your other half, and the other half be supportive of still wanting to be independent whilst committed to one another. A few of my married friends vacation separately and it's not a problem. And why should it be? Shoot, if you don't trust him/her to go then you shouldn't be with that person in the first place. My friend was heavily pregnant at the time, and her husband was off in Vegas watching the Mayweather fight with his boys. She supports that and it works for them. Luckily I have secure friends in secure relationships. Good on them for maintaining that friendship/married life balance.
He [back to the boss] is a manager here so he's hardly broke. I'm guessing a £50 to £60k salary and you know where he took his last 'holiday' when he had 2 weeks off…..?
SUSSEX. FOR 2 NIGHTS!!
Who the frickety frack goes to Sussex? That's like living in Dallas and going to Houston on vacation.
I know broker folks who go to Egypt, Europe, Mediterranean, Caribbean, the Middle East. You name it they go there.
No adventure in his life no spark at all. How can you still be thinking about it, when you've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity? Even his friend came back on e-mail after sending him a list of flights to pick from, that "life is too short and told him to live it now before it's up" All this talk about "we have some good times at home" and "I can imagine being alone with the kids on holiday" YOU'RE GOING FOR 5 DAYS OR SO OUT OF 365. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE STATIONED IN IRAQ!! **slaps forehead** OK we get it. You're boring, have no ambition and have not an ounce of adventure running through your body. Why am I even surprised? He's already admitted he likes routine as in terms of his Monday to Friday working life and has been here for 12 years and is only 34. I've worked in the industry for a year less but moved to about 5 or 6 different investment banks and financial institutions gaining new experience and building up my CV.
Just like my co-workers say, something tells me he'll be here until he's either retired or made redundant. God forbid if he's made redundant he's probably fall into a deep depression not knowing what to do with himself. He'll still be vacationing in areas so close to home he'll be able to be pop back if he's forgotten something.
Why he buys the Condé Naste Traveller magazine [Vogue magazine for travellers] I don't know. It's like me buying car magazines without a drivers licence.
I'll never get that mindset in people. I just don't. Sitting down and watching life just pass you by. When we have Easyjet and Ryanair there is no excuse. None.
Your partner doesn't fly and although they aren't invited, the point is by being married to this person for 7 years and together for 14 years, they hate flying which means the holidays for you and the children are extremely limited to overseas trips. [The other half hates flying they don't have a fear of it - and there is a difference].The question is do you go?
My question is why is this even up for debate?
Your friend is between jobs starting a new one in Hong Kong in 6 weeks where he lives and he's bored. All expenses paid and you're still dithering about it. For nearly 2 weeks I've tried to persuade my boss to just go. He is so boring and secure in his little safety bubble that even flying to Hong Kong for a long weekend on his friend's tab is just too much excitement for him. Now it's not the money element he said, but he's made excuse after excuse after excuse not to go. I've already told him, "tell what's-his-face that I'm going if you don't."His family holidays consist of driving in France because her indoors doesn't fly. Well you know what, leave her at home and take the kids your damn self. My parents took me and my sister on our first holidays at 3 and 5, the same age as his children. And every year after that with the exception of 1986 we went on holiday 1 to 2 times a year.
There is no way I'm going to deprive myself or my children of many worldly wonders just because my partner is acting like a pussy about flying. Well guess what I'm no huge fan of sitting in a cramped seat and eating food out of a foil container wondering if the altitude is going to form blood clots in my legs and kill me, but it lasts for a few damn hours then your transported into a different land, with a different culture, language, food, customs you name it it's different, amazing and beautiful.
When I get married as much as I will look forward to our holidays together, I will encourage him to go off on holiday with his friends too, because I certainly will be going with mine. Sometimes it's good to get away from your other half, and the other half be supportive of still wanting to be independent whilst committed to one another. A few of my married friends vacation separately and it's not a problem. And why should it be? Shoot, if you don't trust him/her to go then you shouldn't be with that person in the first place. My friend was heavily pregnant at the time, and her husband was off in Vegas watching the Mayweather fight with his boys. She supports that and it works for them. Luckily I have secure friends in secure relationships. Good on them for maintaining that friendship/married life balance.
He [back to the boss] is a manager here so he's hardly broke. I'm guessing a £50 to £60k salary and you know where he took his last 'holiday' when he had 2 weeks off…..?
SUSSEX. FOR 2 NIGHTS!!
Who the frickety frack goes to Sussex? That's like living in Dallas and going to Houston on vacation.
I know broker folks who go to Egypt, Europe, Mediterranean, Caribbean, the Middle East. You name it they go there.
No adventure in his life no spark at all. How can you still be thinking about it, when you've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity? Even his friend came back on e-mail after sending him a list of flights to pick from, that "life is too short and told him to live it now before it's up" All this talk about "we have some good times at home" and "I can imagine being alone with the kids on holiday" YOU'RE GOING FOR 5 DAYS OR SO OUT OF 365. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE STATIONED IN IRAQ!! **slaps forehead** OK we get it. You're boring, have no ambition and have not an ounce of adventure running through your body. Why am I even surprised? He's already admitted he likes routine as in terms of his Monday to Friday working life and has been here for 12 years and is only 34. I've worked in the industry for a year less but moved to about 5 or 6 different investment banks and financial institutions gaining new experience and building up my CV.Just like my co-workers say, something tells me he'll be here until he's either retired or made redundant. God forbid if he's made redundant he's probably fall into a deep depression not knowing what to do with himself. He'll still be vacationing in areas so close to home he'll be able to be pop back if he's forgotten something.
Why he buys the Condé Naste Traveller magazine [Vogue magazine for travellers] I don't know. It's like me buying car magazines without a drivers licence.
I'll never get that mindset in people. I just don't. Sitting down and watching life just pass you by. When we have Easyjet and Ryanair there is no excuse. None.
Though the partner has a fear of flying, he or she should make the attempt to compromise. It is unfair to the family to have such limited vacations. There are ways and strategies to overcome this.
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