4 Dec 2009

Marriage - What's In A Name?

I've noticed a growing trend over the years of women hyphenating their names once they get married? I can't remember specifically when I started noticing this but it's been going on for quite a while now. Maybe at the start of the Spice Girl Power movement, who knows. Some of my friends have done it, to the point of they use their maiden name for work/business and have their married name for personal use.

With some, I have no bloody idea what their last name is whether it's hyphenated or they've dropped their last name and gone with his completely. I'm hella confused.

Is it an independance thing? You give up so much to be married, you give up your womb for 9 months at a time to bear your children who automatically end up with his last name anyway, that this is the only thing a woman feels she can hold onto that's actually hers without feeling like she's given up everything.

Some don't believe in giving up the name at all. Some are dead set on keeping their name but adding his too [just to keep him quiet] and for some it's nothing to just drop their last name and take his.

In 2009 women are more powerful, lets face facts, they are. They feel so much more in control, and it's becoming evident that they are saying "screw tradition, I love you and I'll marry you but don't think for one second I'm getting rid of my last name and JUST settling with yours." Is there a deeper meaning behind it for some women that they keep to themselves and don't admit it. Do they feel that their husbands are going to view them as subservient for taking on his name and his alone?

I think deep down a majority of the men would be happy for the removal of the hyphenated names and to just take theirs.

When you go into marriage it's no long you and me, it's us..so does it...will it make a difference on the two becoming 1 right down to the last name or simply a new-age preference that will have no problem in the marriage at all.


  1. For the longest part of my life I'd always said I'd go for the hyphenated name because I felt there was something empowering about the idea, I get his name to show that married and keep my maiden name just to be cool. But I've now decided that when I get married I'm going to change my name so that my own achievements are easily recognised. Mainly on the basis that I feel I was putting too much value in a name, my achievements are my own regardless of what my last name is, the marriage is something new and fresh so I decided why not re-invent myself and get a new name!

  2. Some women have a hyphenated name to keep their fathers name alive. For example my dad would like me to hyphenate my name if I got married because Im the only daughter. (If My elder brother doesnt have kids the last name will die out with him.)

    I dont really see the big deal though if you just take your husband's name. Some men feel emasculated if their wives keep their name. so *shrug* up to the individual I guess.

  3. I wrote a post of that awhile ago after seeing a growing thrend on fb with people having double-barrelled surnames. It's crazy! Sometimes they don't even go together.

    For me, when I do get married, even though I love my surname,I've already decided to be traditional and take on my husband-to-be surname.
    since, he will now be my family.


  4. I'm more traditional as well and i have no qualms about taking my husband's name. But professionally (i'm in the medical field) i'm gonna use my surname cuz who u are and what you've done is vital in my field

  5. We had a discussion and while I kept my maiden name as my middle name, I took my SO's name. But it's a choice people have to make themselves and together with their partner.

  6. Very interesting article. I always thought that I would take the last name of my partner. I fully intend to but I'm undecided as to whether or not I'll change it for business. Eeek!!


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