17 Feb 2010

What Goes Around/Comes Back Around

Cheat On Him Cheryl, Then Leave Him!

*I know what you’re thinking. This is not like LD to say such a thing and throw in song references midway through the blog.*

Do we have to hear day after day of more men cheating on their wives? If men were exposed to the media dishing dirt on cheating women every minute they’d be giving their wives/girlfriends the side eye wondering if they all do it. Truth is a ton of women do cheat, it’s just a ton of women don’t get caught.

Cheryl Cole just needs to do her good for nothing husband a favour and leave him by his lonesome. He’s shown her he doesn’t love her or respect her and it’s well and truly time for him to go.

So he cheats on his wife to begin with, then less than a year after it was public knowledge he starts with the secret dirty texts and pictures to another woman. Here comes a song reference…
“So cheers, toast, bravo, to you.
Cause you’re the man of the hour.
I might have to send you some flowers” – Standing O [Mariah Carey – Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel 2009]
Women need to make sure they have enough balls and money to do what’s right after being humiliated like this and LEAVE!

Whether you’re going on a date or in a marriage, make sure you have your VEX money saved so you can go on about your business when your man/husband SHOWS YOU EXACTLY who he is and doesn’t give a damn about you or your feelings. I remember reading on a forum a woman talking about how unhappy she was in her marriage, and she was in the midst of planning to leave him. Oh sista girl had the leaving PLANNED, but she said the earliest she could leave him was in 3 years!
3 YEARS???? You don’t even have 3 nights to be in the same breathing space as me. Have your money saved [aka VEX MONEY] so you can either…

Buy a new place.
Rent a new place.
Or throw him out and take care of the bills and the children. Don’t forget to burn some sage up in there too afterwards to rid of the negative energy and cleanse the damn place.

If I remember correctly she was either pregnant or had one on the way and had to plan it so that when the baby could go into day care she could get a job and start saving. Trust me I wish I had some money for her at the time of me reading it because that woman was so unhappy it literally broke my heart, but I also thought, what goes into the mind of so many women who give up their financial independence that when situations like this arise they’re stuck? Some men know what they’re doing from jump. They lull their wives into a false sense of security knowing they are no good but always have a base to go home too in between breaks of them screwing around. Take away a woman’s financial independence she relies on her husband, even when it comes down to wanting to leave, she can’t, because he controls the purse strings. Men know that to women money can equal power. The power to leave and move on where she may never have had that option if she were dependant on him.

I first heard about the term ‘vex money’ when I was 16 and dating my first long term boyfriend. Even when I was going out on a date with her son, his mother would ask me “Naomi, do you have your vex money?” It was so if he p’s me off, I have money to get home. I’ve only been without my vex money ONCE in my entire life and NEVER will that happen again. It’s the worst feeling to be somewhere you don’t want to be and the only thing keeping you there is no money to get the hell away.

Back onto the likes of Ashley Cole. I swear sometimes some of these good for nothing men need a taste of their own medicine.

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”

Ladies, if you can get one man you can get plenty of others. What Chris Rock said is true, whether women realise it or not they are offered the opportunity of sex three or four times a day by a man, and probably three out of those four opportunities are probably in your phone book too. Don’t start going on with that foolish mindset that no other man is going to want you.

They’ll take you with kids and they’ll take you without kids.
They’ll take you fat, they’ll take you skinny.

Advice for those with no morals or those seeking like for like revenge
Even if you’re not looking for a long and lasting relationship *shrugs* so what. Hell, just use him [your jump off] for sex, then file for divorce. OK so it won’t solve all of your problems but it will make you feel better, even if it’s just for that sexual moment. Just make sure he’s more endowed and finer than the jumped up excuse of a man you’re currently with. And if he’s not…do him anyway. Don’t worry about getting caught. Women are better at cheating than men are. We don’t need statistics to prove this as fact, but in this case getting caught is pretty much what you WANT to happen. At this point you’re past caring. If you’re bold enough whilst getting ready to go and see the jump off and he asks you where you’re going, look him dead in the eye and tell him “I’m off to see a man about getting a shag.” He may not believe you anyway. How many times did my dad tell us he was off to see a man about a dog and to this day no blasted dog!!! Go get yours. It was good enough for him. So why should you miss out on all the fun? File for divorce, throw him out or you leave, and then move on. Keep the jump off around if you so wish, that’s up to you.

Cheryl is not an ugly woman. She has a ton of male admirers whom I sure would love to court her, date her and treat her right. Ashley doesn’t deserve her at all. And whilst she’s off making her own money and not relying on him to provide for her like a typical WAG, she’s playing the dutiful and faithful wife. Sorry Cheryl, you’ve been OVERLY humiliated. Time to get yours, get out and move on while you’re still young. Dedicate yourself to someone who is willing to put in the work in dedicating himself to you and only you.

I don’t condone cheating for the sake of it, but I do believe certain people deserve to be cheated on! It may sound harsh....

....but that karma is a bitch I tell ya! What goes around most definitely comes around one way or the other, without fail. I am very much aware of times when karma has reared its ugly head my way and to those that have done wrong against me. Maybe not right there at that point in time when whatever happened, but afterwards I have seen it in action. That’s why I’m very careful in what I do to other people because as a firm believer of karma it can come back on you tenfold and usually when you least expect it.

For every action there is a reaction. For every offence there is a consequence.

I think it’s very important that women understand and remember “what one man doesn’t want, another man will gladly have.” [as said by Angela Miller] my aunt and I swear if it’s the only thing I’ll remember verbatim her telling me and taking it to the grave, this is it.

Whether Cheryl and other women like her leave their Ashley Cole or not is one thing. One thing’s for sure, someway, somehow he’ll be paying for what he did. It’s not about Cheryl singing ‘Fight for this Love’ anymore. He cheated, he apologised, they worked it out [wouldn’t have been my strategy, but hey that isn’t my marriage], then he proves he still can’t be trusted. Time to change the record Cheryl. How about ‘Up Out My Face’ this one seems rather fitting.
“And no super glue can fix this shit
When I break I break I break
Not even a welder and a builder could rebuild this shit
When I break I break I break
Not even a nail technician with a whole lot of gel and acrylic
Can fix this when I break, I break
If we were two Lego blocks
Even the Harvard University graduating class of 2010
Couldn’t put us back together again” – Up Out My Face [Mariah Carey – Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel 2009]

What is shameful about being a divorcee? As much as I want to get married one day and for it to last until ‘death do we part’ I am not afraid of getting divorced if certain things on my “oh hell no, I’m not tolerating that” list appear in my marriage. I think it’s more shameful to stay in the marriage, putting on that front, when knowing deep down all you want to do is walk away. I know a few people in situations with dogs for husbands, sorry SCUM for husbands [as dogs are loyal], where they didn’t leave, or stayed for the sake of the kids, which ruined them and they regretted doing so. That person when I asked them said they’d NEVER recommend any woman staying for the sake of the children. I also know of those that are currently staying in a marriage desperately unhappy because they can’t leave whether it is for financial reasons or they don’t want to disappoint their children. Let me not be a fool and act blindly. God has shown those women to me for a reason. Simply put “Naomi don’t ever let that be you. Stick to your principles you’ve always had. It works for you because that makes you, you. You know what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t.”

I like Cheryl as a ‘celebrity’ but she’s thick as turd for sticking with this good for nothing twat. Work is pretty quiet at the moment I don’t mind being hired for a fee to go round there and pack her bags on her behalf.


  1. co-signing 'I like Cheryl as a ‘celebrity’ but she’s thick as turd for sticking with this good for nothing twat.'

  2. LOL @ 'VEX' money. If men knew about every [smart] woman's Plan B, they really wouldn't carry on the way they do !!!!!!

  3. I'm not so sure about 'Vex' money. I mean I think with marriage as oppose to dating, as much as there may be times when you must leave asap, I think most of the time it's a decision that even though you're sad you really have to take the time to ponder about, even if it means saving for 3 years as painful as it may be (as long as you're not being abused).

    I think that going into the marriage on a defensive mind frame that I need to save, in case I need to leave, whilst it may sound practical, and I get it, I get concerned that it may actually be detrimental to the marriage and I may not end up putting the effort I need to, to make it work.

    I get the importance about independence, but when you're married you're equal partners, and I'm not sure how I'd feel if I found out my husband was hiding money from me. Leaving a marriage I don't think is supposed to be an easy or abrupt decision to make.

    I think a fine balance has to be struck, because as ladies I'm sure there many things that we do that we would want to be forgiven for, and whilst I'm not condoning cheating, there are many couples I know who've been able to work it out, and build a stronger relationship.

    It's different for every couple.

  4. MBLS has spoken my mingd. I'm a strong advocate for divorce but I don't want anyone to take it lightly. Nice write-up though, women shouldn't take shit from their men.

  5. WORD!!!!

    I second Vex Money ANYDAY!!!

    If you think about it, he doesn't even need to cheat OR hit for you to leave, God forbid he passes away.

    (That happened to my uncle, and his wife hadn't been working for sooooo long, My uncle had enough cheese no doubt; she couldn't pay her kids private college fees again......luckily she's blessed with nice family members. Her kids/ my cousins did finish, but 1 had to stop for the other to finish)

    And women are waaaaay better at cheating if they have too. You won't even suspect. unless they they want you to know.


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