21 Apr 2010

Words of Wisdom or Just Straight Bullshit Advice?

I've followed Tyrese twice on Twitter, I’ve also un-followed Tyrese twice. The last and final time was yesterday. The reason I followed him a second time was because people were re-tweeting [RT] some things he said which made sense. So I thought , "why not." When I followed him again I realised they were only RT the good stuff, the rest of the other crap filled my timeline, and I didn't have the time to be getting mad over the dumb stuff.

Now I’m not saying you have to have a PhD, letters after your name, or be a preacher in order to invoke some knowledge to the people, but people please don’t let it get to your damn heads that you now think this is some kind of career that pays in Twitter followers. I've noticed some people famous and non-famous try so hard to sound deep, that they come across as real dumb at times.

I have seen over the past few days tweets along the lines of…and I’m paraphrasing here.

“When you find love, hold on to it. Don’t throw it away. Fight for your love. Don’t give up on love no matter what.” Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I am a firm believer in love. Yes even when the ish hits the fan. I have to believe in love. God is love, and if I didn’t believe then hell….I guess I’d be destined for just that…Hell. Walking around void of emotion doing and saying God knows what.

The gist of the tweet I got from Tyrese pretty much seemed like a 'pre-excuse' for men, but aimed it at women. As if to say, "OK men make mistakes, but don't throw your love away because of it. Fight for it." Nah ah! I was too through after that. I was not about to read that mess and have it permeate my beloved brain cells.

Be careful of the advice you give to, and take from others. Just because your mama, papa or grandmother told you so, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s something you have to live by or that even applies to you. Advice is just that. Advice. You can take it, or you can leave it. Some of our older relatives are very wise, but some of them are twittering old fools too and have grown up in different times. Saying that though, some things told to us remain the same and relevant no matter what time we live in. 

A lot of old school family members put up with some serious BS from their husbands back in the day and stayed around. Good for the grandmas and the aunties out there. I don't give a damn what you tell me, some of those old folks sleeping in separate beds because "he snores too loud"...please. Grandpa is on punishment and STILL paying for some shit he did in 1952. You put up with it, stayed, wish you hadn't, couldn't move on, and are still mad as hell! Oh I am not in the ‘Stand By Your Man’ team of women who will put up with that kind of mess. It’s damaging, and quite frankly I want a happy and content life where I'm not putting up with stuff because it's easy and comfortable and my husband is sleeping in the next room and Lord knows who else.

As much as I believe in love Mr Tyrese Gibson, there is no way in hell I am holding on to something that doesn’t benefit me in my life, in any way shape or form. Maybe this is why some folks should leave the wisdom to the likes of Rev Run who I feel keeps it more real. He’s under the more realistic notion of:

“Yes loving someone is the right thing to do, but if you see warning signs and alarm bells ringing, get out. You can love someone from a distance, you don’t have to be with them to love them, love yourself more.” He didn’t actually say that verbatim, I paraphrased yet again. Some things the Rev says just flies over my head or doesn't apply to me. A lot of it does apply to me, but I feel he gives his advice more out of love, than Tyrese who I feel does it more for the attention he gets. 

Please do not be under the influence [especially to the ladies] that you’re only going to find love just ONCE in your lifetime, therefore stick around with one to be abused, hurt and humiliated time and time again. Stop calling every dude that says "I Love You" your damn soul mate. You are putting limitations on your expectations a lot of the times when doing that. [I will blog about that tomorrow] If he doesn’t act right, can’t stay faithful, can’t keep his hands off you [in the abusive sense], or speaks ill of you to your face and behind your back, leave him because that isn’t healthy, respectful or loving. If you stay, well then hey….good luck with that, and please remove your friends that you have on speed dial who have heard it all before. Chances are they are tired of your whining, crying and sob stories relating to this man. YOU are the female that gets talked about when the women who have their shit together meet up for lunch and talk about. You'll also get talked about on forums, blogs, Twitter, Facebook, e-mails and BBM conversations for being the foolish one that complains and stays. 

You need men that are going to wipe away the tears after a bad day, not the ones that create the tears and the bad days. If you are crying because of him, it should be because he surprised you, told you how he lovingly feels about you or got down on one knee and proposed to your ass!

If some celebrities who were up there in the spotlight, gave more advice about teaching their followers to love themselves truly and first and foremost, maybe some women would make better decisions when it comes to sticking with and putting up with crap.

It's OK to be in love. It's NOT OK to be a STUPID FOOL in love.

Listen to yourself, you may not be Rev Run or Tyrese, but you may surprise yourself when that little voice inside your head speaks to you. Don’t always be too quick to jump onto the back of what someone else says, just because they may be someone of some status.

They aren’t always right, and you aren’t always wrong.

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