Dearest @SinittaOfficial On Behalf of Mariah, I Urge You To STOP!

"Dahhhlings what the f*** is a Sinitta?

I'm sipping tea as I write this. Yes folks...sipping tea. Trying to balance my damn chakras at the same time but was alerted to some "tom foolery, trying to snatch a diva's wig" madness yesterday via The Lava Lizard. I must forewarn you this is a signature LD post aka long. So make some tea yourself and sip along with me.

Like myself, Trent who runs, works and twerks The Lava Lizard is a HUGE Mariah fan. I won't go as far as to call myself a stan (another blog post dissecting that term maybe needed one day), there is a DISTINCT difference between fan and stan, that I need to educate folks on, but like I said another time...

I am a lifelong fan, supporter of the diva and her work. I have been since the beginning of her career and always will be. I can, have and will be vocal about Mariah's work and have no problem stating my dislike for some of it. I'm certainly never biased when it comes to my opinion of anyone I admire in the media spotlight.

The Rumoured New American Idol Panel Are….?

After 9 seasons on the show Simon Cowell made a smart business move to leave the dwindling American Idol show, although it didn’t stop there.

In the early hours of this morning Ellen Degeneres announced on Twitter

 Source: The Ellen Degeneres Show

"A couple months ago, I let FOX and the "American Idol" producers know that this didn't feel like the right fit for me. I told them I wouldn't leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on "Idol" and I am very grateful for the year I had. I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be."

Then by lunchtime rumours were out that Kara Gui…Gara….Gu….Dio...OH F**K it…the annoying, one got fired.

So that leaves Randy ‘Dawg. Baby. Dude it was pitchy in parts’ Jackson all on his lonesome, with Ryan Seacrest as the original host/judge since season 1.

The rumours about who will be joining Randy Jackson as a judge are:

 Jennifer Lopez and Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler.

The ONLY people QUALIFIED to judge music and talent are Randy and Steven if this turns out to be the new panel of judges. Jennifer Lopez has no business judging anybody, and we do not need reminders as to why.

As much as I disliked Kara, at least she was a singer, songwriter, musician, producer and  more would quite happily see her for another season over Jennifer Lopez.

Idol is going down  let's face it, and will more than likely not last many more seasons with the departure of Simon Cowell.  Although the formats are similar I see Simon’s US version of X Factor taking over in the ratings. Why? 

1. No matter how similar the format, it’s still new blood on the reality TV circuit.

2. Simon Cowell is on the panel. Just watching it for his critique is enough, and those that loved him on Idol will more than likely tune in to watch X Factor.

Other rumours floating around to fill Simon's shoes as head judge are Diddy and Jessica Simpson. 

Why not just make it Randy? Aren't 9 seasons and a veteran in the music industry enough to be a head judge??

Errr maybe not....If that's the case just end the season now!!!

"Simple Simon!" This New Format Is Too Complicated!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I do not apologise for my love of reality TV. Whether it be ghetto trash like Flavor of Love or Charm School to American Idol or The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I'd rather watch pre-conceived reality scripts over soap operas any day.

Rewind to last Saturday 7pm ITV1, I was soooooo excited to see the return of X Factor, and about 30 minutes into it, I couldn't escape faster from my TV set.

They have...no scratch that, SIMON COWELL has gone and screwed up a brilliant format...how? By simply having the audience be a part of the best bit of 4 months of Saturday night viewing. I don't need to hear the audience booing or cheering. I don't want to see backstage shots of these nobodies taking to the stage and performing to a backing track. It's pure and utter crap and I DON'T LIKE IT. Am I the only one in agreement who thought, Louis, Dannii, Cheryl and Simon in a room of pure silence with a crap audition was pure comedy? Even at home in your living room you felt the tension right along with them and just the expressions of the 4 judges were enough alone to make you piss your pants. Now it's like watching it with 20,000 other people giggling over the parts you want to be hearing in silence.

X Factor: New format. Hate it. I didn't laugh once, and I read that in the 90 minute show only 7 auditions were shown.

Simon I think you're smelling yourself a little mate.

Now onto X Factor rant #2. Danyl The prick with an even more jumped up spelt name than himself. Some of you loved him. Some of you hated him. Well whilst I was eating my 10p Tesco Value Noodles he put me right off. Sorry sweetheart, with your racially ambiguous self you weren't that cute. Simon seems to like the mixed contestants. This dude can sing an old Joe Cocker song and Simon's veneers are all a gleaming. When the brotha came out singing a classic before him, Simon gave him hell and asked him for something more current before allowing him through. I've peeped Simon do this a lot on X Factor and American Idol. I don't think he likes the black singers too much, talented or not, he always has something derogatory to say regarding their song choice or they 'sang it with too much soul/sounded like they were in a gospel choir' Whatever Simon. We all know for you that marketing black artists is a hard task for you as opposed to the white/mixed contestants. I've watched enough seasons of talent shows where Simon is a judge to notice this trait. He's not fooling me.

Back onto Danyl. Arrogant twat. Sorry, I was not moved. So what you can sing. I always say this, 99.9% of the people that make it through onto X Factor wouldn't even get past the audition stage on American Idol. Maybe I've been spoiled by the talent that I've seen on Idol and when it comes to watching the UK counterparts I don't care for any of them. This year past, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert were killing it each and every week. Down to earth guys with killer voices. They knew they were hella talented yet remained humble throughout. This Danyl comes out with a Joe Cocker song, moves the mic back and forth from each hand 3 times and the audience starts screaming like he did a Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas one handed cartwheel whilst singing. So Danyal you sat on the stage pointed, winked and sung to the ladies. Am I missing something here? I was not impressed. And everybody was WOW WOW WOW. Now to me that was mediocre.

Now word on the street is he's the new 'Susan Boyle' and some US talk show wants to interview him as he's had nearly a million hits on You Tube. **ROLLS EYES**

Does anyone remember the black guy who was friends with Danny Gokey on Idol and didn't make it to the finals, he had a bit of a Pharell vibe/look to him?? Well that guy could sing rings around Danyl and where was the hype and the fuss? There is none because raw talent seems to be a plenty stateside. Now had he been a UK contestant and sung the same way, there would have been a frenzy.

I AM EMBARRASSED that Danyl and the likes of Susan Boyle garner so much interest especially in America of their average performances. And please tell me why when someone can sing to a decent standard in the UK the whole country goes crazy?

Leona ain't no damn Mariah, shoot she's not even a Jordin Sparks and Jordin can sang...yes sang...I watched that girls every performance and she can blow. Shoot she (Leona) is not even a Jennifer Hudson or Fantasia. Alexandra ain't no Beyonce and as much as I rooted for her last year and like the girl, listening back to her performance with Bey is a lil painful to hear now. She's good but she's not great.

Now I'm watching the audition back, and dudes vocals aren't all that. I bet I could sound great lifting my leg up, arms flailing to make a somewhat decent vocal appear amazing.

I AM NOT CONVINCED.

THAT does not warrant a US TV appearance. Americans if you see him, turn the channel. PLEASE!

And what kills me is this...1 show and he's already the winner...? Siddown UK, Siddown!! All of the Susan Boyle hype and some street dancers beat her. I hope history repeats itself. I'd much prefer Austin Drage come back from last year and make it through. Man was I pissed when I cam back from holiday and he was gone. Pure kiss teet a gwan!!!

And for the ladies that love him, want him, need him, he swings both ways and is an open bisexual. But hey, at least he isn't on the DL. Right?

And let's stop with the overuse of this damn word amazing, and reserve it for artists who truly are. Maybe now being 30 and have a lil old skool years behind me I can say x,y and z were truly amazing at their craft. No Danyl was not amazing to me, it was not 25th Anniversary Grammy Billie jean performance that will stand the test of time. Michael Jackson was amazing, Prince is amazing, Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Patti LaBelle, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey vocally and as performers. One dry head man performs a Joe Cocker song and now the dude is amazing. NO. HE. IS. NOT. If he's amazing, I am legendary.

What do you think of his performance? You can see it here

All That Buckley Hype & Not Even Close

Single sales in 1 week

1 ALEXANDRA BURKE 576,046

2 JEFF BUCKLEY 80,883

3 LEONA LEWIS 72,417

Can the Buckley FANatics please now give it up gracefully, and let the new Queen reign supreme for the Christmas period.

Hallelujah. Alexandra Burke vs. Jeff Buckley

I am just about sick of this nonsense I really am. Read here. I think I've harped on enough about Alexandra Burke and her glorious win from last Saturday's X Factor but this week is simply taking the piss.

I've mentioned before that I don't read the news anymore so I can't even begin to tell you what today's headline is all about. I was on Itunes last night and see that Alexandra and Jeff Buckley are #1 & 2 with the same song and thought "What the hell." I then check Alexandra's fan page on Facebook and you have the typical squabble about whose version is better. Then dig a little deeper and find that there are some Jeff Buckley fanatics taking it to a whole 'nother level pushing to get this song to #1 this weekend. The X Factor finalists covered Hero [badly] this year for charity by my fave gal Mariah Carey, but you weren't about to see me downloading in protest when already being a TRUE fan I already have the song probably 8 times over since 1993. So what's the point? Mariah doesn't care about #1's and Jeff Buckley can't because he's dead. Isn't the love and support for your artist enough without all this campaigning? If you have to campaign then what is that saying about the TRUE talent and appreciation of your musical idol? And to be honest I think the style and class of Buckley's music wouldn't even want to be as mainstream as it is right now. There are some musical artists who serve better wavering between popularity and underground. You know the ones, don't need a lot of hype, chart positions or press but can always sell out a world tour with just a strong following alone. Katie Melua, K.D. Lang [who has also covered this song famously], Tracy Chapman etc comes to mind on writing this.

This song has been covered around 300+ times according to Wikipedia. It was covered on American Idol before the X Factor so this isn't the first time this song has been endorsed by Simon Cowell. I don't really know what Jeff Buckley enthusiasts were so up in arms about so I decided to hear this 'wonderful, amazing' cover of Buckley on You Tube, then [even though I'd already heard Alex's version] listened to hers again straight afterwards with a very OPEN mind.

I am not just saying this for effect or to be funny, but I was sitting at my computer and nodded off to sleep listening to Jeff's version, AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I DID! I couldn't sit through that to the end. It made me want to kill myself. I guess this is what those folks mean when they say it's 'haunting' [black speak for dry and boring]. I listened to Alexandra's and was actually stirred by some kind of emotion.

As a black woman this isn't even about a black woman versus a white man and favouring her because we are black. Austin Drage was my top choice but got booted in week 4, and on top of that I listen to a LOT of music across the board so my viewpoint is hardly biased toward the soulful tones of Alexandra. Nickelback, Guns N Roses, Chris Cornell, James Morrison, Gavin DeGraw, Linkin Park and Evanesence to name a few are on heavy rotation in my house and ears. As is R&B, a little Hip-Hop, dancehall and soca. And when it comes to classical for me it's Vanessa Mae. A serious 'mix & blend' of music so I can appreciate the 'alternative' sound of Jeff Buckley and am open to listening to his genre of music.

But let's keep it real…

That version of Hallelujah was pure and utter shit. I don't care if Alexandra was a busker on the London Underground, or had a 20 year music career without the aid of a reality TV show, hers is better.

This is synonymous with 'classics' and the fanfare surrounding them just BECAUSE there is a fanfare. I mean you hear of movies like Wall Street and The Godfather being hailed as great movies and every person that watches it thereafter thinks it's the best thing ever created just because EVERYBODY is saying it. The Godfather didn't pique my interest. I thought Wall Street was boring and haven't even gotten to the end of Scarface yet. I WILL however watch the Godfather again and make it to the end of Scarface [maybe I'll do that this weekend], but from what I saw unimpressed. I also think the Beatles were shit and think nothing much of the legendary Paul McCartney. Can't sing to save his life and is straight up boring. Give me Sir Elton John and George Michael any day. Yes Sir Paul maybe a great songwriter, then do like Dianne Warren and David Foster and pen the hits for other artists and keep your vocally challenged ass quiet. I don't jump on bandwagons. I'm not about to say it was legendary just because 15 million other people are saying the same thing JUST to look and sound cool. Challenge somebody next time they harp on about some crap war film being 'amazing' and watch them stutter like bitches trying to come up with a free flowing answer. Most times they can't because they've never thought to as why they like it, they've just gone with the crowd because no one wants to be the oddball who has no problem being vocal about their dislike for something so popular.

Jeff Buckley has a cult of what seems a lot of people clambering onto a bandwagon of his music. I had NEVER heard of him until this week and then all of a sudden his loyal fans are only NOW buying his 14 year old Leonard Cohen cover version? If you're so diehard why don't you have it already? It's like, if you don't like Jeff's version or you say anything remotely negative about it, then your seriously NOT COOL to prefer the version of a reality TV show winner.

It's not Alexandra's fault, she has no control over her career whatsoever at this point and probably won't ever for a very long time. She sung it in her own personal way the same way JLS did and Eoghan would have done if they'd have won. Is this backlash aimed at Alexandra, The X Factor, Simon Cowell himself as a money hungry mogul, or all three? See this is why I love Simon, the man knows how to make his money and doesn't apologise for it along the way, a shrewd hustler, I like that. Nothing wrong with what he's done at all. I'm slightly familiar with the song Hallelujah, and down to him he has exposed Leonard Cohen and Jeff Buckley to a new audience who may have never been particularly interested in the song or the music of these two artists. It was down to American Idol that I discovered Gavin DeGraw and fell in love with his music and sound that's not that big in the UK as he is in the US. These shows have a lot of influence, more than they are being given credit for.

What Jeff Buckley fanatics fail to realise is this:

The song is NOT his. His estate will earn no money from the re-release of it on such a huge scale.

The song is written by Leonard Cohen who is estimated to pocket over £1,000,000 in royalties alone from the sale of Alexandra's single and now the sales of Buckley's version.

Leonard Cohen is NOT dead. There was some dumbass talking about Leonard must be turning in his grave on a forum. Double dumbass!!

Buckley's version and Alexandra's version are released under Columbia/Sony BMG. Simon Cowell's company SyCo Records is signed under Columbia/Sony BMG. So the Cowell and Burke 'hater's are all a big happy family under the Sony umbrella. Sony is having the last laugh, or could it be Simon Cowell having the last laugh and with a great scheme of choosing this song KNOWING the sales of Buckley's version rocketed in the US after being featured on American Idol and made Hallelujah the song choice in the UK. Seems like the Buckley fanatics got shafted with a massive rod and made to look fools of and are nothing more than pawns in an industry game of making money. Gwannnnnnn Simon & Sony!!! [But only in this instance though, we all know record labels are shady].

This song has been covered anywhere between 100-300 times. So why they are pissy about Alexandra's version I don't know. She can sing it and interpret her own version just like Jeff did, of his own accord. She injected soul. He droned on the record and put me to sleep.

A dead horse is being flogged, Alexandra received 8 million votes [2 of those mine] in the final and has been sold out in record stores and the fastest selling download in Europe ever. Be happy with a #2 slot in the charts this week. Sony are even happier.

Jeff Buckley's version was awful and borderline suicidal. I don't know what talent he possessed.

The other great version of this song was in Shrek. Yes Shrek. Not Jeff Buckley's version. I'll say it again...Shrek by Rufus Wainwright. I will get my hands on that version tonight!!!

The song has nothing to do with religion but rumoured to be about Hallelujah being synonymous with the orgasm. Alexandra is obviously happy with her climaxes from the way she sung it. Those poor women that had the misfortune of sleeping with Buckley. So what 'feeling' did he invoke in this dreary version that was remotely orgasmic I'd like to know?

This is in no way a disrespect to Jeff as an artist, but merely on the cover of this song. I cannot and will not comment on his whole works as I haven't listened to them, and probably won't because that song has put me right off wanting to find out anything further about his music.

BUT a mandatory positive on his version of Hallelujah, if I ever have trouble falling asleep I will play the You Tube version to send me off quicker. That mess cannot occupy my ipod. I just hope it doesn't shut my computer down if it does get played on it again.

Everybody has a right to their opinion and I guess I just had mine.

Leonard Cohen


Alexandra Burke


Jeff Buckley

X Factor: Congratulations Alexandra

Finally a talented and genuine person has won this year. Loved the duet with Beyoncé, loved every performance from Alexandra this year. We have no real black British vocal artists who are mainstream in this country. Beverly Knight...dropped. Jamelia...dropped. Right now I'm not even talking about Aleshia Dixon or Leona Lewis [mixed race artists] I'm talking chocolate brown sistas making their mark on the charts. The only one we have is Estelle, and that's just not good enough.

X Factor: Britney That's Not A Performance. This Is A Performance!

Go back home Britney!

Seriously, we on UK shores waited with baited breath for 7 days since it was announced she'd be performing on the X Factor. Well ummmmmm.....it was lacklustre to say the least. I've pretty much been a Britney semi-fan of the stuff you can break a sweat to, and the Blackout album is pretty decent.

Britney performing Womanizer on X Factor

She lip synced so what? That didn't bother me, the fact remains she was dancing like she just learned the routine backstage 5 minutes before coming out on stage. Britney used to dance hard and with some vigor, think 'Slave 4 U' and 'Overprotected'. If you didn't appreciate her as a mediocre singer [think of her like a white Janet if you will who is weak vocally], you could at least appreciate the fact that she's a good entertainer and would have no problem giving you your monies worth if you were to see her live. I said I'd prefer to watch a theatrical live concert of Britney's rather than Christina Aguilera's well I'll have to retract on that, because I've seen a few videos of Christina Aguilera's singing and dance routines and a show she does put on and doesn't just wail for two hours.

For three and a half minutes you'd think Britney would have made the effort to at least
(a) Dance like her life depended on it.
(b) Actually listened to what Dermott was saying rather than rant on about London.
(c) Look like she gave a damn that she was there.

Flipping heck, you have superstars like Mariah Carey and Celine Dion who have mentored the contestants and given them VALID advice. Fair enough Britney was in Germany promoting the single and album Circus and didn't have time to mentor the contestants who this week were singing her songs, but the advice of "good luck and keep doing it" was straight up bullshit. And what was up with all of the ass licking of Britney before during and after??

After 5 years of being out of the UK many of those probably filled with trips to rehab, marriages, pregnancies, head shaving, smoking, snorting and drinking, I think it's best Britney decides if she actually wants a long career, because with performances like that she's going to piss a lot of people off. I watched some a-hole on You Tube talking about the Britney performance was 'amazing' and 'she's back', yes maybe by British standards but do that in the USA and it would be deemed a huge flop and she'd be slaughtered for it.

And all those millions and her hair extensions look like that? You could see the real 3 inches of hair on the top like a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet gone wrong.

Now if you're going to sing live or lip sync then this is how it should be done if you have mediocre vocal ability but can dance your ass off. I don't wanna hear anyone tell me Brit's performance was amazing when Ciara and 40 year old Janet can still surpass her on the dance floor.

Ciara performing Get Up

X Factor: Austin Drage Gone in Week 4???

What???

I've come back to this tragic news!! My talented and favourite liccle white boy singer with the great voice Austin is out? In week 4?

What in the world!!

Now compared to American Idol half of those in this competition wouldn't even had made it through to Hollywood if it were down to the judges on the shores to the west of us. But Eoghan (pronounced Owen) that baby-faced crap little pug faced Irish boy is still in as with 38 year old [never gonna make it in the charts and you're only here because of a sob story] Daniel,and Essex boy is out.

X Factor Week 3 - I take it it was Big Band theme night. I can't stand it when they do Big Band tunes but he smacked it!

No doubt the likes of Laura, Alexandra, Rachel, Ruth and Diana are talented vocalists in this competition, but when you've seen and heard one good female or two with a great set of lungs it's gets boring. That's why I love it when the men step up to the plate and deliver it vocally. They are more exciting to watch, and other than my girl Mariah [Cannon] Carey I much prefer to listen to male vocalists.

Saturday nights are not going to be the same without Austin on my TV set. For me he was my favourite contender. Although I didn't think he would win, not because he's not talented enough, but because there is too much hype surrounding the females this year, I just didn't suspect he'd be out this early.

X Factor Week 4 - Wishing On A Star [Disco Week]

**SIGH**

Oh well I'll guess I'll have to make do and catch up on his 3 live performances that he did and enjoy them until he comes out with his own material.

X Factor Week 4 - The sing off [the performance that didn't save him] Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

SOMEBODY SIGN AUSTIN PLEASE!!!

One more for the road...Billie Jean [Michael Jackson week] my favourite Austin Drage performance from Week 2...

X Factor: Austin Drage - Billie Jean

X Factor, like American Idol, but slightly different. Simon Cowell is a judge [surprise surprise] and he created this concept.

There are 12 contestants, who go through the audition process like on AI and through to boot camp [like Hollywood on AI]. From there there are 6 in each category who then go to the homes of their potential mentors, this year was Barbados [Simon], Cannes [Cheryl], St Tropez [Dannii] and Ireland [Louis], where they are told if they have made it through or not.

3 boys 14-24
3 girls 14-24
3 groups
3 Over 25's (male or female)

Each group has a mentor who are also judges, like Paula, Simon and Randy.

3 boys - Simon Cowell
3 girls - Cheryl Cole
3 groups - Louis Walsh
3 Over 25's (male or female) - Dannii Minogue

(l-r Louis Walsh, Dannii Minogue, Cheryl Cole, Simon Cowell)

They sing, they get judged, we the public vote and the 2 in the bottom sing a different song to be saved. It then goes down to the judges who they want to save. If the vote is even, it goes to Deadlock, and whoever got the lowest public vote leaves.

Last night's X Factor theme was Michael Jackson. Out of the 11 remaining contestants in week 2, Austin Drage is by far my personal favourite. There are a few better singers in this year's competition with all of Cheryl Cole's category [who has the girls] being excellent then the odd few in Dannii Minogue's category with the over 25's, like sexy Spaniard Ruth Lorenzo, and 5 kids by 5 men, done drugs,robbed people, been in prison and now turning her life around Rachel Hylton who can belt out a tune week after week. But there's just something special about little twenty something Austin. Maybe because he's better than last year's winner Leon Jackson and probably one of the best male vocalists we've had in the 5 or 6 years on this show. Never has there been a bigger winner than Leona Lewis, but maybe, just maybe there's someone in this competition this year like Alexandra Burke or Laura White to compete with the likes of Leona, who quite frankly, aside from the voice is a bit bland. [Poor Leona can't even wave with conviction]

So last night Austin [*swoon* I even love his name] does a Chris Cornell cover version of a Michael Jackson cover, which was also covered by David Cook on this years American Idol. You still with me? Well seeing as Austin is in Simon's category of the boy artists, it's no wonder he pulled a little trick out of the bag thinking that the British public had never seen it before. "American Idol only gets aired 2 days after it's aired in the US Simon, we've seen it".

Austin did his version justice as did David Cook. Both guys are talented and can sing, although who's version I preferred I don't yet know. Maybe Austins, as he went a little further with his version of the cover of the cover of the cover.

I don't think Austin will win, as I think it will be a girl this year, but I'm definitely hoping he gets a record deal, because I love this boy's voice, he apparently the only contestant that writes his own material and I would snap up anything he sings in a heartbeat. Plus he's cute as anything.

I'm sorry I think he's the dark horse of the competition, too much focus on the girls and not enough credit going to Austin. He's the only decent boy Simon has got in his category and needs to work his magic if he wants to win big like he did when Leona was in his.