19 Jun 2009

Movie Review: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Don't worry there will be no spoilers. I never spoil anything for anyone, even when they ask I always tell them to go and watch it for themselves.

US readers please don't be confused or surprised. Today is June 19th and you won't have the movie for another 6 days. Sometimes it happens like that...get over it!

I think we watch/buy more movies than you guys on a per person basis or something like that, so it's nice to not be ignored by Hollywood for a change.

I have been excited about this movie for a while. And double the excitement as my fave group on the planet, Linkin Park, did the theme tune 'New Divide' for the film.

So I was up in the early hours looking to see if I could go to a morning showing. Nope, the earliest was 1pm, but I attended the 2pm showing instead. I needed to see it before most people and also before the school kids made the later showing, making up too much noise in the cinema.

Let me tell you something...if you are excited about going to see this movie then take your at a 10 level of excitement and drop it down to a 0 and go with NO expectations.

My black ass was hella disappointed. I fell asleep. I yawned. I wiggled in my seat. I tweeted from my Blackberry. I was not gripped.

I went over to IMDB and read the honest reviews over there. Seems like I wasn't the only one who fell asleep either.

I tweeted today about the 2.5 hour film being a tease and leaving without an orgasm. There were no high moments for me. Whilst reading IMDB, the thread about what the favourite parts of the film was for some people...if you ever read what they were...Lord Jesus...nothing exciting at all. There were no real standout moments for me at all.

I don't know what Michael Bay was thinking. All I hope is the rumours are true and he's NOT returning for a 3rd installment. However, when Shia LeBeouf was on Twitter he did promise us that from Michael Bay there was going to be a 3rd movie. To be honest I don't care. It's like being shagged by a really bad in bed bloke, and he's promising to come back and give you more of the same. I don't want it. Nor will I expect anything great from it.

I read in the free London paper on way home the 1/5 star review, stating that the trailer was the most impressive thing and that the movie itself was a big letdown.

Everything I said about the movie others mirrored on IMDB when I read it this evening.

  • When the robots are fighting [same problem in Transformers] it is very difficult to make out who is ACTUALLY fighting.
  • There are new robots all who pretty much fail to make an impression. Namely the 2 ghetto 'black' robots [who are twins] who use words like pussy, shit and whoop yo ass. These have been likened to being annoying to this movie as Jar Jar Binks was to Star Wars. Trust me they are VERY annoying. And I have a feeling they will NOT feature in the next movie as there will be websites set up stating how much they are hated. Trust me there will be websites petitioning for them not to appear anywhere again...[my little premonition. Let's see if I'm right.]
  • Now I thought it was just me...but someone else on IMDB stated the same thing. They were speaking incredibly fast. You had to pay serious attention to the dialogue. Trust me if you see this, you will see what I'm talking about.
  • It was so obvious from all the Megan hype in between movies they really went for it on her opening 'sexy sitting on the bike' shot.
  • The story was lame. With an even lamer ending.
  • Tyrese had no business being in this movie, he must have said about 3 lines all of em including the word 'ass' at some point.
  • The film did NOT need to be that long. Some scenes were just long or did not need to be there at all.
  • Younger kids may have a hard time keeping up with this movie.
  • Mirroring what someone said, you didn't care about any of the characters, not like in the first movie when you were actually rooting for some of them.
  • Severe lack of Auto-Bots for my liking from the 1st movie. Only Bumblebee and Optimus Prime are pretty much featured, the others take a back seat [very disappointed by that]

    Visually the film was amazing. Some people say "there is too much CGI" It's a movie about robots for the Son of God's sake! What are they to do? Cut back on the CGI by bringing in the R.E.A.L. Optimus Prime to shoot on set? Dumbasses. Too much CGI!! It's supposed to as THESE TRANSFORMERS DO NOT EXIST!! NO CGI! NO MOVIE! For the love of all things holy!

    I've never complained about CGI in a movie. If it's needed bring it on. Like folks can really tell these days between CGI or not in every scene. You can't...watch the extras on Bad Boys 2 a lot of cars in the chase scene weren't even on the road. You'd never guess. It's not just used for superheroes in flight or explosions. Some are used in scenes you wouldn't think needed it.

    I digress...Umm...to sum it up. Great hype. Brilliant trailers. They kept us waiting. Let us down. First movie was better!

  • I appreciate the first movie so much more now, and after writing this blog I'm going downstairs to actually watch it again. Seriously. Because the letdown of that movie has thrown me deep into the arms of the first one, which I liked but was not that attached to. Now I'm clinging onto it for dear life.

    I think a lot of Americans are going to "love it" and think "It's amazing" Europe and USA have different tastes I've noticed. I actually will look at anyone sideways who thinks this film was "amazing, awesome, brilliant or fantastic" I will simply think in my head you need to get out more, cause that didn't flutter anything in my belly at all.

    I love movies, I love cars, I love comic adaptions on screen. I did not love this movie. I stated it was good on my Twitter, but I have to retract that. It was OK.

    Well I have to see it again next weekend, as I'm taking my little cousin. I know what to expect sooo I can either sleep through it or give it another chance. And to think I was looking forward to seeing it again for a second time. This will be a chore for me.

    Fave action movie of 2009 so far [bear in mind I'm seeing Terminator Salvation and Star Trek this weekend so that may change] is Fast & Furious.

    Fave drama of 2009 so far has to be Gran Torino.

    Megan was hot...swear she had those lips done for the film though. Notice how I said that without all that 'No homo' stuff when talking about Megan Fox. Women, it's OK to say another woman looks/is hot without all that 'no homo' crap...I hate that. Women have been complimenting other women for years, we can do that, so why all of a sudden in 2009 we gotta defend our sexuality, I don't know.

    I can't believe that cutie pie Josh Duhamel [Captain Lennox] is married to Fergie. She looks so off, and dare I say very man like.

    MAJOR PROPS to my girl Megan for actually being seen in a movie with her shoes in her hand and running barefoot. If you're running from a ghost, bomb, bullets, a 60ft robot, please ladies tek off the stilettos and run for your life.

    I like this Megan, the other one with the extra 'a' in her name, with last name 'Good' but is a 'Bad' actress needs to retire. Can't stand her wannabe sexy ass!

    When you get around to seeing it. Let me know what you thought of it.


    1. Josh can.get.it.any.day...even on a Sunday...ok maybe not on a Sunday...I digress.

      See reading your review has put all these kiss ass reviews I have been reading by the Oz press in perspective. They keep on saying "Oh the formula of the first film has been replicated...director hasn't strayed blah blah making it a big success etc etc" So reading your review it makes sense why my male friend in the UK called me yesterday and told me to take to have low expectations as well. I thought he was being a hater (he didnt like the first one)

      And why do the twin robots that are ghetto have to be the ones with the vulgar mouths? I don't remember that much swearing or swearing like that in the 1st movie. Good review,very balanced in my humble opinion.

    2. omg...its like u crawled inside my head and saw everything i thought about the movie.
      YES her lips looked SO fake! and YES those 'ghetto black' robots were annoying as heck. when is hollywood gonna stop with that?


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