13 Jul 2010

Ladies, You're DOOMED Because Halle & Christina Can’t Keep A Man!!

I just have to write a blog on this today, I just have to.
As you may know Christina Milian has been cheated on and The Dream has announced their separation.

So why are SOME women all of a sudden feeling doomed to the fiery pits of permanent singledom because beautiful women like Halle Berry and Christina Milian have been cheated on and their marriages have come to an end?

Since when did Halle and Christina’s lives have any bearing upon you, your man, your relationship, or your marriage? Listen up ladies and listen good. I am TIRED of telling women to stop tarring men with the same brush, and I’m TIRED of telling women to stop putting women like Halle Berry n dem on a gottdamn pedestal.

I’m tired of that woman being some kind of measuring stick for relationships and beauty amongst women in the black community. Go get a gottdamn life you crazy ass heffers. I don’t give a damn how many men fawn over that woman, how beautiful she looks in a Revlon or Versace ad, how perfect her hair and skin looks, I’m more concerned with transferring that admiration over to my damn self and loving my black ass flaws and all. When you’re able to do that, you’re able to let someone into your life who’s going to love you flaws an all as well.

THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE, but some of you read way too many blog stories about a celeb cheating on his pretty wife that you (a) put yourself in the average looks category looking at these pretty people all day long (b) in the mindset that if a pretty woman who all men seem to want, desire, and lust over gets cheated on, then there is no hope for an average Jane like yourself. And (c) ALL men cheat because there’s a story in every newspaper and magazine, that it just HAS to be true!


I try and take the negative and put a positive thought process to it. Two of the most common ones that I hear all the time are:
  • 50% of marriages fail.
  • All men cheat.
Hmmm, sounds to me that a lot of women are setting themselves up for failure before they’ve even begun when they speak so much about the possibility of being part of that statistic and ending up with a cheating man.

LondonDiva’s thought process is:
  • Well 50% of marriages succeed, no one talks about those.
  • Not all men cheat, the ones that are faithful just rarely get talked about, especially in the media.
FYI women cheat too, and for those that think all men are sh** and want to venture to the other side and take up full time residency in lesbianville, some of those women get cheated on and beat by their women too! Just so you know!

My aim and focus is to be part of that 50% with a good, honest and trustworthy man by my side. I haven’t got time to focus on the negative. The Law of Attraction works, God is always working. Like attracts like, because what you indeed focus on, you’ll get. Focus on no good men; they’ll pop up on every street corner. They may even take you out on a date, put a ring on it and marry you. Ever heard “why do I always attract these fools?” coming from you or the mouths of your girlfriends? Ask yourself the following also:
  • Do you focus HARD on the qualities of a good man that you may want to enter your life?
  • After the focus, do you believe he’s out there for you somewhere?
  • After that, do you remain faithful and believe that it’s on the way to you?
Think about it, let it marinate!
I don’t know Halle or Christina personally, but looks doesn’t get or keep any man in a relationship or marriage. Your face and body may attract them initially, as men are visual creatures, but if you have no substance to you as an individual, then it’s pretty much all over. Pretty, average and ugly women get cheated on and guess what, pretty, average and ugly women have men who worship the ground they walk on and wouldn’t dare dream of leaving their side for anyone. Pretty women have their issues too, but folks are so STUCK on looks and STUPID, that they forget that there is a whole other person aside from the face and body when it comes to celebrities like these.

Any woman that believes that women like Halle and Christina are perfect in every aspect of their lives is delusional. Looks don’t keep a man by your side forever in a marriage; hard work, communication, love, trust, respect, loyalty, and commitment amongst other things do.

Looking like a celebrity most men want to wife has no bearing on whether you can snag a man and have him put a ring on it. If that were the case how did Khloe Kardashian snag Lamar so quickly when her most lusted over sister couldn’t even get a marriage proposal from her long term ex Reggie Bush?

Please tell me why dumbass comments like this are being RT as if it’s gospel. 
RT @JuliaBeverly: If christina milian, halle berry etc are getting cheated on, there's no hope for the rest of us
 The gospel according to The Book of ‘I’ve Been Shat on So Many Times By A Man, That I’m Just Gonna Curl Up and Die’ Chapter 3 Verse 10.

I don’t need to see that mess, and I don’t need to be exposed to the weak minds of bitter women who in 140 characters or less have pretty much told their whole timeline and then some that “if we ain’t Halle or Christina, we’re doomed.” F*** You and your narrow mind! Do you know how dangerous that is to impart that foolery into the minds of some women?

Some people need to speak for their damn “misery loves company” selves for real. Go and check the label ‘cheating’ on this blog, I have been cheated on, and I’ve also been treated royally. I refuse to let past experience or the experience of women who have graced my TV stop me from remaining faithful when it comes to relationships. I don’t know why I attracted that individual into my life nearly two years ago, but the downgrade in being with him, taught me a valuable lesson in the art of UPGRADING and remaining faithful for the future. I didn’t feel the need to really get over anything when it came to him or that relationship. My aim was to move on, and that I did. I kept my options well and truly open and remained TOTALLY FAITHFUL. I didn’t put any limitations on myself and my future due to past experiences, and never will. Can I call myself even more blessed now? The hell I can, but I’m not about to air my personal business out here, not in part anyway, even if to prove my point for a blog post.

Good men exist, bad men exist. Do NOT let the bad ones who are no longer in your lives have that much power over you to the point where you’re stuck, stagnant and afraid to move on. NO ONE has that much power over me, and never will, especially when they’re getting on with their lives and I am no longer a thought in theirs. Be OPEN to receiving something good great in your life and tell yourself you deserve it. Pray, manifest, meditate on the positive. Burn some damn sage if you have to and stop comparing yourself to Halle flippin Berry and the like. Chances are there is something within YOU that she’d desire for herself that goes far deeper than looks.

To the women who don’t believe that faithful men exist, please just stop dating, we’re tired of you and your pitiful stories pissing on everyone’s parade. There are faithful men out there, and you’re just too lazy and lack faith to be patient for God to work on him for you. You want, want, want, and are definitely NOT ready. And you wonder why he hasn’t come into your life? Let me tell you again, you’re NOT ready! I know it, the Universe knows it and God knows it. He’s moulding a man for you, but pauses, takes a peek into your mindset and goes:
“oh heaven naw!! Sista gurl you ain’t ready for this here man. I’m gonna need him to go to that faithful and patient sista waiting in line behind you as she’s deserving and remained faithful to me. As she remained faithful, she shall be rewarded.”
You can’t be ready with that negative mindset, so we don’t need you being a contributor to the 50% of failed marriages, thank you very much. A bitter minded woman with a good man? Errr No! Get yourself about 5 cats, sit in your rocking chair, knit some booties for the newborn babies of your friends born into a strong and healthy union, and call it a day!

To the men that think all your 3 billion plus homeboys on the planet are cheaters, think again. You don’t all cheat, some of the smart ones actually think cheating is for weak, disrespectful men. Just because you haven’t been raised and taught right, you want others to be in the exact same sinking boat as you. You know your ways are trifling and it bothers you to the pit of your soul that there are men out there who are better than you in that respect. So what do you do??? You spew out this crap to a bunch of women and have them believing it. You spew out this crap to your male friends telling them they need to get with X amount of women because loving and remaining faithful to just one ‘ain’t right or natural.’ You say these things so that you can justify your cheating ways due to your own insecurities and unhappiness. You’re not all the same and in fact you’re pretty much the on the lowest level on the totem pole. There will come a time one day when some of your trifling friends change their ways for the better get married and have a family unit. You just may desire this for yourself one day, but unfortunately you won’t be open to it, as night after night the only thing you’ll be open to is a new pair of legs. You all just need to get with the women who think all men cheat and remain dysfunctional together and let the ones remaining faithful and giving their relationships a real go alone.


  1. And can the church say AMEN!!!because this post right thurrr is #thetruth!! Folks need to focus on themselves, just because it happened to Halle and Christina doesn't mean anything to them and their lives. Since when did Aubrey and Pot Belly became representatives of all men?
    As you stated LD, if 50% of men cheat...there's the other 50% who don't!
    I can't add anymore to this post because you said it all!!

  2. OMG PREACH!!!!! WORD!!! CO-SIGN!!!! OMG!!!! THIS post just gave me a re-think on so many levels! like wow!!! wow! wow! *applause*

  3. Preeeeach! I will hold out for the right man no matter how long it takes. I firmly believe that not ALL men cheat and I wish people would stop perpetuating this bullshit. Amen, amen, and amen to the whole post!

  4. This is an honest scribe that needs to emailed/spammed to EVERYONE! So much truth in this *applauds*. Thank you for standing up for the good men out there too :) Actually, if you speak to most 'real' good men out there, they aren't actually looking for a Halle Berry. You see,Halle Berry comes with Halle Berry kind of issues that we don't need to discuss here...

  5. Thanks for the kudos on the post. As always I have to say exactly what is on my mind, even if the masses do not agree with me.

    @Sankofa I like your mindset. No not all men cheat, not all women are faithful. There are some men out there totally devoted to their women it's unreal. However these men never get talked about.

    @sirnige.com thank you. I believe in the 'good man' existing. I really do. I'm tired of them being overshadowed by cheats and liars. LOL @ Halle Berry issues. Beautiful people have problems too. Halle n Hollywood included.


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