Dear Future Me...

Futureme.org

I came across this website nearly 3 years ago. It's a very simple site you register and can send yourself letters which when you pick a date will delivered to your e-mail address. You can use it in fun or in all seriousness. It's so strange looking back on the messages I sent myself in 2006 and just shaking my head at them. I don't feel like I've done a damn thing. I'd be intrigued to see where I am in 3, 6 and 12 months time so may just send myself a note or 5 over the next few days to see whether in 2009 I've accomplished what I set out to do.

The Bucket list: #12 - COMPLETED

I did it!!...what I blogged about some weeks ago, I managed to cross off my list in Thailand.

Going in October was definitely a plus point as that is their rainy season, [I never got wet once], was very quiet. The hotels and tourist spots weren't overcrowded and being near the equator I don't think I had a day where it was under 30 degrees. Needless to say I came back 3-4 shades darker, without being exposed to the sun that much and made sure I was never in the midday sun. I'm sure the cold of the English weather will diminish my lovely South East Asian tan though with a quickness...it always does.

I have no idea what my elephant's name was. I didn't even know if it was a male or a female. For some reason I'm going to take a wild guess and say it was female.

Now my elephant [let's just call it Nelly] was small in comparison to the other elephants I saw, but when I was on it, it was high up enough for me.

The chillin' chicken

I had to climb up in this tree house type of a structure where a chicken was chilling and a dog too, and climb onto the elephant. I was strapped in with a safety belt. Why on earth would I need a seat belt like contraption on an elephant?? I had visions of this elephant rising up on it's hind legs and throwing me off. That's when I got all Western and Hyacinth Bucket [that woman is so like my mother] and gripped on for dear life, trying to make sure the guide as well as the elephant didn't catch on that I was having a WTF moment and really wanted to say "screw the bucket list and everything on it. I want to go back and catch up on some sleep". But I didn't.

My goodness was Nelly slow. When it decided it wanted to chill and eat some leaves the guide got annoyed and started mumbling in Thai, kissing his teeth and commanding the elephant. When Nelly didn't respond he had some kind of hook on a stick and would drag the elephant along by the ear in the direction of where it wanted to go. That bit I honestly didn't like. I began to feel sorry for the elephant. Intelligent animals as they are to be able to understand and follow commands in any language, meant they probably understood a lot more too. I got the sense my elephant was quite sad, it really seemed that it was, and probably didn't like cavorting around tourists like me on a daily basis.

Nelly wandered through the thick bush of the Thai rainforest and proceeded to take huge football sized dumps as it went. Elephant dump after dump was littered along the pathways, but it didn't smell as bad as you would have expected.

You call that a dropping???

I got bitten about 5 times going through this forest and those bites itched like a mutha for the next 3 or so days. Luckily I had my Click It device that you zap a tiny electric shock to the bite causing it to stop itching. It worked as best as it could, but the way I was going needed a flippin 150,000 volt taser.

I am not even making this up, there were creatures in those bushes, behind trees, you name it they were there. If I saw a snake, or a monkey decided to drop out of the sky on my head it would have been all over. I got all Hyacinth Bucket again and fixed my face like she and my mother would, holding my backpack close to me and praying if anything jumped out, that Nelly wouldn't wild out throwing me off and leaving me in a pile of dung [how dramatic am I?] It didn't happen though..thank God! Whatever was in the bushes stayed in the bushes.

After my elephant ride was done, Nelly moved her trunk toward me, like it wanted to play. I can't and won't lie I was petrified. I don't like snakes or anything snake like and her trunk looked like one so I wasn't going to go there. Nelly actually looked quite sad that I didn't want to pet him/her. And I in turn actually felt quite bad.

This is a video I shot of 'Nelly' after the trek.

The Bucket List #21

Me and my sister have been conditioned from a very early age to enjoy the best if you can afford it, and make no apologies for doing so.

I have never camped, stayed in a tent, or a hut, and I may not ever do that. I think I could but I don't want to right about now. Plus I don't sleep on the floor at home and refuse to pay to do so somewhere else in the world.

There is some real travel snobbery I've experienced when it comes to accommodation and it usually comes from the campers, those that like to rough it. Somehow if you stay in a hotel, you aren't really experiencing the country compared to those that literally like to get dirty and camp out in the woods. So they say. Whatever, I could care lesser than I do already.

Listen, I can climb a mountain, go across country in a jeep, wander through the rain forests and get bitten by any and everything, venture into local villages, eat and buy from the locals…but come night time I want to collect my key from reception, take a nice hot shower, order room service, and watch CNN or a pay per view movie. The difference between my holiday and theirs is where we lay our heads at night.

Every travel experience is a personal one and I'm not about to feel bad for my choices. A holiday for me is about relaxation and doing as little as possible whilst experiencing the most that you can, hence another bucket list entry being knocked off...

#21 Stay at the Ritz

It's booked and paid for and I'm going. On my Malaysia trip I'll be staying there in Kuala Lumpur. Every guest is entitled to 24 hours butler service and I'm going to enjoy it and bask in it in 26 days time.

And why not. Isn't that what life is all about?

The Bucket List: #12

My bucket list now has 22 items on it. And soon to be 23.

It's good to look through it and see what can be crossed off. I wonder how long it's actually going to take me to do it.

My flights are now booked for Koh Lanta, Krabi and Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This morning Malaysia wasn't even on my mind. I just looked a a map of Thailand when I was at work online and said I want to go to Malaysia and lo and behold a few hours after that, flight is booked and sometimes that's just how it should be. Spontaneity is sometimes like a drug. [I have never used drugs BTW] but I'm guessing it feels somewhat close to that. I am really looking forward to travelling to South East Asia by myself. Like I've said before if I waited on a friend or family member to be free and have the money to go, do you think anything would have even been booked for now? I highly doubt it. There is so much to see and do that I don't even want anyone bothering me. I just want to get on and do it. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and doing new things and embracing being a singleton on holiday.

**Pumps fist in the air for all those independent singletons**

It surely is nothing to be embarrassed about or even ashamed. In fact most times I love it. Peace and quiet and to come and go as I please. No big baby of a boyfriend wanting to know what time I'll be back or wondering when can we spend some time together as he hasn't seen me all week because of work. I want to marry and have kids, and I can wait, I'm not in a hurry hurry [yes I said it twice]. I'm taking my time and enjoying the scenery figuratively and literally....which leads me onto the next bucket list entry I am going to conquer.

#12 Ride on an Elephant

I used old faithful aka Google and typed in Koh Lanta + elephant and listed at #3 was Sumate Koh Lanta Yai Safari.


ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!! Right there on the island, and they have 5 different elephant programs to choose from. Just last week I was dreaming about trekking through the Thai rainforest on an elephant and on #3 of their programs is the perfect elephant trek for me which consists of:

• Elephant riding for one hour at Pha-ae Camp, set in lush tropical rainforest.
• Visit the Sean Gypsy Village(Baan Sang Ga U).
• Enjoy lunch and stunning view at (Baan Sang Ga U)
• Jungle walk to waterfall.
• Visit Lanta National Park.
• Watch and participate in the baby elephants show.

And now it seems it will become a reality. I thought about doing the one where you get in the Kayak, but I don't know what is in that water and if I see a water snake, let's just put it this way

MY HEART WILL STOP AND I WILL DIE BEFORE THE DAMN BUCKET LIST IS EVEN COMPLETE!

The rainforest trek sounds perfect. I have no desire to see a cave, but I do want to see more stunning views of Thailand.

My sister was in Thailand a few weeks back and rode on an elephant in Koh Samui. She said it was a bizarre yet amazing experience.

I cannot wait to go for a trek with Nelly or Dumbo or whatever it is called. But if I witness an elephant going poo or wee I will have a silent fit.

The Bucket List: #6

I decided to open up the little pink notebook I carry around with me and open it up to read the affirmations I carry with me on a daily basis. In it I have a few plain 3 x 5 inch note cards to jot down all I'm grateful for, during the day [which I haven't been doing in a long time], which then gets put in a Perspex box along with the other cards. May sound corny to some, but it's a way of life for me that works perfectly [when I practice it that is]. Anyway I came across my bucket list which is full of things to do before I die listed from 1 - 20 on both sides of my 3 x 5 inch note card and decided to go through the list and see if there is anything that I can knock off of it.

#6 Go to the Ballet

So I went straight to the Royal Opera House website and looked at the productions they have on. 2 in particular caught my eye one called 'Ballet Black' a production consisting of Black and Asian [and in Asian I'm guessing Indian rather that Chinese, Korean etc] dancers. The other was Swan Lake by in which the male lead of this production is black.



So I got on the phone with Mrs H and she said her youngest sister also wanted to go and see Swan Lake and thought her mother would like to also. It's on both of our bucket lists to see a ballet production and what better place than the Royal Opera House. The tickets are between £70 and £100 and go on sale at 10am on October 14th.

So we've set a date for Saturday 28th February 2009 @ 7:00pm

Life IS Too Short

This blog entry couldn't have come at a better time. Last night before I went to bed, I was thinking about my baby godson who passed away less than a year ago at just under 10 weeks old. As September is drawing to a close the arrival of what would have been his 1st birthday is fast approaching on October 9th. I think this will be the true test as we've all been through the memorable dates that are usually tough when coping with the passing of a loved one. He passed on December 20th (the day he was actually due to be born), his parents 1st wedding anniversary was only 3 days after that, and a further 2 days after that was Christmas day. Mother's and Father's Day has been and gone and now the most important one we should all be celebrating is drawing near and I think silently everyone is dreading his 1st birthday and he's not here. I have no idea if I'm going to do anything, in the sense of be with them on that day or just leave them alone.

I got my daily bible verse e-mailed to me this morning and the book the verse was from was the same book my godson (Roman) was named after, the book of Romans. And now as I sit here and type this a woman who sits behind me has just come back to work after her father passing away in his sleep and I overheard her say that this has really changed her outlook on life and that life in too short. And I agree with her. Another woman in the office, the only person I speak to on this floor outside of my department, her sister is currently living her last days in hospital battling cancer and she's only 50. So why people put things off for tomorrow which is never promised I have no idea. My godson lived for 9 weeks and 5 days and if that wasn't a wake up call to take life to the next level and try and experience it more fully, then I don't know what is.

I had always wanted to go to Thailand and have never made the trip. On my 29th birthday I just picked some dates did a search online for a flight and booked it. I'm off next month and when I'm there I'm going to ride on an elephant (it's on my bucket list of things to do). And yes I am going by myself. If I waited for friends to have the money or the time, I'll be travelling in 2013 at this rate. Everybody has different priorities in life that don't always mesh in with yours and in some instances never will.

I came into this world by myself and I'm going to leave it the exact same way, in between [life] a trip to the movies or a vacation I'm sure I can manage by myself too, and it's hardly going to be a painful experience. Why people have this look of pity in their eyes for me when they find out I took myself to see a movie, have been or am going away by myself I really don't know. Its them I pity. I have the balls to do things because I'm not waiting on anybody and refuse to. I march to the beat of my own drum and pluck up the courage to go it alone. Going it alone is not as scary as it may seem, you do meet people along the way, form new friendships and go to new places that you may have never experienced had you settled for the same routine of having the same friends that follow you everywhere and at every little turn. It would be leaving little room for branching out and experiencing new things.

Roman is my source of inspiration and although our time together was short lived, he was the little love of my life. I do miss him and thinking about what he would be doing now from crawling to trying to stand and walk by himself, and wondering how big he would have been by now sadden me. Then on the flip side, looking at where we are and hearing stories of children being shot in schools, stabbed on our streets, another one just yesterday a 4 year old was drowned by her mother because she couldn't cope with her having Cerebral Palsy, I feel that heaven surrounded by angels is the best place for our little angel, living in the times that we live in. We know where he is and can be content with that given the circumstances.

To give up and live a lacklustre life would be a detriment to his memory. For someone so small born just weighing over 1lb and got to 7lbs he was a little fighter, and he did it by himself because he wanted to be here as much as we wanted him to be here. We loved and we lost, but we also know that we must live every day like it's our last and never lose sight of that. If it's one thing to make sense out why he was only here for a short time, then I'll gladly take that away and live by it if I can't figure out the rest.