24 Dec 2008

Black Women Don't Smile Much???

Interesting topic over at 'The Forum' last night, as to a poster whose husband noticed that black women don't smile much. It was the responses that tickled me and had me nodding in agreement which followed.

I looked around on my morning tube journey today and noticed the following.

White Men = Not Smiling
White Women = Not Smiling
Black Men = Not Smiling
Black Women = Not Smiling

Why is every little thing noticed by a black man about black women taken and just drawn out beyond belief. I'm sorry I'm not a smiling Becky. Why at a glance up from my book white women feel the need to crack a smile at me I don't know. Nor do I walk the streets looking like an escaped psych patient grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

I smile when I feel necessary when some emotion is stirring within my soul. For me to smile on demand looks fake, like the white women at me who mask staring at me for five minutes on the tube with a smile when I make eye contact letting them know to cool it with glares.

Some people are natural smilers others are not. If I'm around people I want to be around then I'll be more jubilant. If I'm walking to the post office or to the station, my normal to serious face is on. Why can't some brothas just get past the fact that we aren't here for your every beck and call, smiling included. I don't smile on command just because I see another brotha or sista for that matter. If I'm in a foreign land like when I was in Malaysia then that's a different matter. I greeted a brotha and him me because there were no other black people in the Golden Triangle area of Kuala Lumpur, you know how we do.

To be honest the same ones who have wanted me to crack a smile were hardly looking all jolly their damn selves. We don’t all have things on our mind [like we're a down trodden, weight of the world carrying species], we're just going about our business or might not find you all that cute to want to smile at. Ever think about that fellas?


  1. I have tupence on this. So you might as well have it.

    Being born and bred here, I can only really speak on this city but as far as I can tell black women smile no more or no less than anyone else (which is very little at people they don't know). People say it's a cold place, so maybe it's a London Ting.

    Last time a random black woman smiled at me I thought she was interested. I was thoroughly wrong on that count but that's a story for another day and the moral of it relates to the dangers of random smiling.

  2. I agree that it mainly has to do with the weather more than anything. I must say that the black women mean mug is pretty intimidating though. When i am on the West Coast people just tend to smile more than on the East Coast but it does have its pros and cons. I have noticed that folks on the East Coast are trendier than folks on the West Coast cos they are probably spoiled by the weather and laid back attitude but in General people should smile more its just better.

  3. I remember a friend of mine used to ask us whenever we would make comments about someone not speaking to us or smiling at us, he used to ask did you smile at them?, did you greet them? As someone who has lived on every coast we have here in America, we are all the same.
    ITA, that when a black person does something it is "ALWAYS" exaggerated. I work at Macy's you don't even want to know how many fake, arrogant and rude "others" I come across on a daily basis, not to mention that "others" includes everyone, not just white ppl. Ppl are ppl. Forgive some of those ppl , sometimes you don't see all the reasons you should be smiling all the time, everyone's personality is different. That is what I respect. I know plenty of perky ppl, which I don't feel the need to classify, but I'm pretty sure we all know some of our own who aren't so nice. So next time "poster" wants to make an off-the-wall comment they should wonder was I smiling at her? Was I staring at person? Some ppl don't like being stared at, I'm one of those ppl! The answer is NO! No one race can be sterotyped.
    Okay, I'm done.LOL!

  4. A black woman's smile is a gift.
    and it isn't for everyone...

    i'm sure i'm not the only one who has the reputation of looking "mean" when i'm simply not smiling.

    when i smile...people notice.


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