I'm In The Mood For Dancing

So I ventured out on Saturday to a ment2excel event at The Wall. A good time was had, so good the next morning I felt beat up, that's the worst I've felt post clubbing in what seems like forever.

Now I'm not the type of girl to leave my house for a night of clubbing other than that, a night of clubbing some serious hard bust a sweat dancing, and I remember the days circa 1996 when the place was so rammed full of people just hot and sweating. Girls never entered the clubs and left looking the exact same way. Make up was smeared from sweating profusely and the clothes were just sweated out. You didn't make any plans for the next day because clubbing consisted of being a two day event. Day 1- Party Hard. Day 2 - Recovery. That was the sure fire indicator that you know a good time was had.

Now circa 1996 Internet wasn't even on the scene like it is now. I remember around 98/99 getting hooked up online and just started seeing TV and newspaper ads from these things called Internet Service Providers about monthly contracts and from then it just blew up. Camera phones? PLEASE! It wasn't even like that back then and if your phone had a camera then it was top notch. I was sporting this in 1996 a Motorola M350 model on what was then Mercury 121 [that became One2One, that is now known as T-Mobile] and I'm proud to say I've had the same mobile number since I was 16 years old. I can never stand people who every time you bumped into them had a new number. But I digress. So where was I? Yes no camera phones, no Internet on phones, no picture messaging no WAP [mobile phone Internet] and certainly no Facebook or MySpace.

Go onto Facebook or MySpace and you'll see the typical up in the club poses. I have a few too, but you know something we have a rule.

RULE #1 We get there early I'm talking about 10-15 people up in the place early.
RULE #2 we take 1 or 2 pictures before we've even ordered a drink.
RULE #3 The camera stays out of sight for the rest of the night.

Fast forward to 2008. We have phones that can take pictures, pay your bills on, chat to people, send pictures, use the Internet, access Facebook and MySpace applications and we are also in the digital camera age. Oh my friggin goodness I am now clubbing with the Social Networking Junkies [SNJ]. I myself am a SNJ but this is a private affair that I do not inflict on anybody, only on those who are my friends online so please spare me the night out clubbing and the hoards of pictures taken on the dance floor. It was seriously ridiculous. The amount of times I had to stop mid dance whilst 8 girls gathered in a huddle tens of times over to take a picture. I am probably in the background of at least 150 pictures from Saturday night adorned on Facebook photo albums as that strange girl in the background with some hardcore dance face on.

Then there was…you know something let me list the idiotic club pet peeves I endured in one evening.

The constant picture taking which you know was taken solely for the SNJ to post their pictures on their pages. 1 or 5 is fine. No one wants to see the same group picture 38 times in your album with each one differing with a head tilt. Pick the best ones to put up and keep it moving.

The fools that made their way though a dense crowd and infringe on my dance space to only stand there and not even move. I am dancing hard to 'Swagga Like Us' and have to literally morph into a 2 step. NOT PLEASED

The same girl in the bubble dress and dead straight weave who I never saw dance all night. Just walk all over the club acting social with everybody for about 4 and a half hours. She left the same way she came into the club with a hair not even out of place or a droplet of sweat on her skin.

The light skinned crew. These men are too nice too dance. They stand in the corner or in your dance space trying to look real good like they are the flavour of the month. People get dressed, drive, find somewhere to park, pay to get in only to stand there the whole night until 3am.

The fool that seems to be in every club wearing sunglasses. It's December and freezing outside. Not even tinted but fully blacked out Gucci sunglasses with Gucci sneaks [bootleg!!!!] wearing a striped sweater holding a champagne glass and a bottle of bubbly [cheap shit!!!!] acting like he's somebody of some status, when you know he's probably living on a council estate with his mum and doesn't have a pot to piss in. Those that try too hard do just that…

Speaking of sweaters, weren't these men hot. Hot and foolish.

The girl who made her way to take up valuable dance space and stand in front of us only to have the nerve to fan herself like she was cooling down with her non-dancing self. "[Move bitch] get out the way" by Ludacris came to mind.

This same girl decided in the middle of a crowd with hip-hop blaring at club level she was going to stand there and make a call on her mobile. I can't even concentrate making a call with the TV or radio on. No attempt to move out to the quieter area by the front door. I bet it was a man she was calling and wanted him to know she was out enjoying herself without him. Sad...but women do this type of shit thinking it's impressive. And you know on a regular night at home she's not calling ANYBODY at 1:30am so why do it when you're at the club. And I know because she was a mother with her toddler child as the screen saver on her phone so you know she's probably desperate for sleep at 9:30pm.

More people just standing there making/answering calls and sending text messages in the club. I was out for a total of 5 hours door to door, I left the other half [Blackberry 8800] at home. My sister had hers and that was enough for an emergency other than that I'm out with who I needed to be with. Who the hell am I contacting that can't wait till Sunday and at a decent hour at that?

The non-movers n shakers. About 15-20% of the club capacity were dancing like they were there to dance. The British black women are really becoming concerned with leaving the club the same way they came in I don't give a zippidee doo da. Whether free, £5 or £10 entry I'm out cause I'm in the mood to dance and dance like a crazy black woman shaking off the working week I will. All these women just sitting down for the whole night looking pissed off. Why are you even there? I noticed this 'trend' when I went clubbing in New York, Las Vegas, Dallas and Houston. Miami folks were the only people who seemed to get down for the sake of getting down.

I don't get it. I just want to party and not care about the dress code. I'm tired of seeing pretentious prissy women and guys who think they are the shit just out to pose and do nothing else taking up valuable dance space and looking miserable the whole night. Then at 2:55am decide when the old skool jam comes on then it's ok to get a dance in knowing it's about to wrap up and there is no chance of perspiration, aching feet, and the hair remains as is. Not me. I'm a straight fool on a night out. If I have trouble walking to the car because my feet hurt, I'm so hot from dancing then freezing as the cold air licks me, my hair is just…over, face shiny from the foundation just saying "I give up" and cannot make me matte anymore, and I'm craving some yard [Jamaican] food from the Bagel King on Walworth where all the hungry South London 3am'ers head to before venturing home, then I know I've had a good time. And that's how it should be!!!

Although we never rounded it off with Bagel King on Saturday as my sister went via Brixton instead [and I respect that as her right as the driver] but the next time I drive I'm getting my 3am grub on. I had to settle for English Muffins with Blackcurrant Jam with some hot chocolate at home after the club was showered off me and headed to bed at 5am.