12 Feb 2009

Law of Attraction, Valentine's Day & He's Just Not That Into You...Combined!

I'm a believer in God. A believer in positivity. And a firm believer that Valentine's Day is pure BS. I've already had my Valentine's Day rant.

For those, like me, who don't care for it over the course of the past 24 hours I've received 2 sources of 'makes sense' reading about Feb 14th and on what to expect from relationships now and going forward. Some of this way of thinking I already adopt in my life anyway **pats myself on the back,** but there are some that don't and need to, men and women alike.

One is courtesy of a link from Fashogi from CNN...Cheers mate! Do not adjust your PC resolution the brotha featured on that article does have a big ass head!

And the other is from my weekly Law of Attraction newsletter. [I've
highlighted the points which I agree with and get my head nodding, I'll add my own little tidbits below as well]. Both are good reads.
By Karen Luniw
He's just not that into you...

Recently the movie based on the book 'He's just not that into you' came out to theaters. What gets me wondering is whether people will finally get the message.

As a girl growing up, I was always desperate to be loved. I always had boyfriends and had no problems around that except for one thing....many of my boyfriends were absolutely no good for me or my self-esteem.

Of course, I attracted that because I had low self-esteem. Then, one day in my late 20's or early 30's, everything changed. I stopped looking for love and started enjoying being with me and finding out what I wanted from my life. [And this is why I say it's very important to enjoy that 'Me Time' post relationship, rather than jump into a new one hoping to fill the void from the last]
When Geoff came into my life shortly thereafter, I was ready for him...or at least pretty ready. You see, he called when he said he was going to call. He looked thrilled to see me and he was nice to me and excited to introduce me to his friends. [If you're having to chase, He's Just Not That Into You. Any man that wants you will make the effort. If he doesn't then don't even bother. But Please stop all of this calling him and bellowing into the phone "Why didn't you call me when you said you would?"]

What did I do? I kept looking for flaws - he was too good to be true, so much so that I almost started picking fights because I couldn't understand why he was so good to me and then I stopped. [I was doing this during my first and very long term relationship. After reading this it made sense as to why.] He was exactly what I had been hoping for but I had to grow into the person that could accept that level of love, sharing and intimacy. And I did, I just accepted that I was good enough to be treated well. Did you get that - I finally allowed myself to be treated well!! [Men and women alike need to adopt and remember this attitude. Trust me even I have thought why me? Why do you like me and want to talk to me, spend with, send sweet lovey dovey messages to, think about? You have to start developing and attitude and a mentality that says (a) Yes I am in his/her league [money and status aside] and (b) I am worthy of all of this attention and then some dammit!!

Every week I get emails from people who want a particular person in their life - usually someone that has already been in their life and has moved on. The writer usually wants to know how to get that person back. (And yes, I am so guilty of this in my past!)

It breaks my heart because everyone deserves to have the 'Mr. Right' or 'Miss Right'. What ends up happening is that the focus of these writers is on what is no longer a match for them. That's a focus on lack, not love. Dr. Phil said it the best - your boyfriend or girlfriend should be treating you as the special person you really are (or something along those lines!). In any case, all of us deserve to be treated wonderfully and if someone in your life isn't treating you that way - they don't deserve to be in your life. [Oh I have learnt the hard way. Or is it easy way where you see the 'he isn't treating me well' pattern and kick him to the curb, over seeing his behaviour and hoping it will change. It's true if you believe you are worthy, then believe you deserve to be treated as such!]

Get this - and especially for Valentine's Day - focus on the great times you had with the other person, focus on the qualities (not the person) that you loved and then focus on being good to yourself. If that person who is now gone is meant to be with you - they will be attracted back to you by the focus on the good stuff rather than the focus on getting them back. Truly, that rarely works out in the long run.

Also, get this....we all will move heaven and earth to be with the person we really want to be with and if someone is not doing that for you, don't make up excuses for them. They are not the right person for you and vice versa....period. [**slaps hand on table** tell it [white woman] sistah. Trust me when you are really feeling or in love with someone you will move heaven and earth. Or at least tried your hardest to do so. I want a make an effort man. Lazy men need not apply]
If you can do these few things and accept this new understanding into your consciousness you will turn a new page in your life and next Valentine's Day will ROCK!

You deserve the life of your dreams - make it happen! [Let the church say amen!!!]

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