I Hate Valentine's Day!

Here's a throwback blog I wrote either 1-2 years ago

In 2010 I still think it's crap. Aint a damn thing changed.

Oh and idiots. It's ValentiNe's Day not ValentiMe's Day!

Anyone gushing about this crappy day will get straight unfollowed/blocked/banned from Twitter/Facebook/My Life respectively with a quickness.

And none of this "I know you hate Valentine's Day but....."

"No how about you just shut up. It's Sunday....End of!"

I had one guy who thought he was clever/sweet/romantic who KNEW about my disdain for the day, and sent me flowers on Feb 13th so TECHNICALLY I didn't get em on Valentine's Day. That ain't working for me either.

Here I Go Again - No To Mother's Day Rant!

All right. Here is what LondonDiva doesn't do in case y'all are beginning to think I'm a tight fisted scrooge and/or missed my Christmas and Valentine's day blogs and what my reasons for bowing out of these ridiculous 'traditions' are

I don't do:

Mother's Day
Father's Day
Dog Day
Cat Day
Christmas Day
Hamster Day
Valentine's Day
Halloween
Grandparent's Day
Cousin's Day

I however, do observe, Birthdays, Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Easter, Anniversaries.

Aside from an occasion like a birthday or a wedding I refuse to be reminded or dictated in how I'm going to live my life and who I'm going to give to and when. Let me see if I can keep this brief while all the while in getting my point across.

I do not need March 22nd as a day to get my mother flowers, chocolates, or cook her a damn meal. I should be doing that and showing my appreciation anyway. OK granted I don't cook the meal but I do book restaurants [JUST BECAUSE] and take my folks out because I love them and want to treat them. I occasionally pass by the confectionary aisle in the supermarket and pick up a box of chocolates for my folks [JUST BECAUSE] and leave it in my porch when they are going to pass by and drop something off for me. I pick up the phone literally about 5 times [maybe even more] a day and speak to my parents, say good morning/goodnight and all that smushy stuff in between. If my dad has helped me out chauffeuring me to get the DIY stuff in and putting up a shelf or two I will give buy him a thank you bottle of Whisky he so adores. I DO NOT need to look like some prissy fool on Facebook acting all fake and giving my momma props on Mother's Day when I try and treat my mother and my father all of the time. And on top of that how many of your momma's are even on bloody Facebook to read that? Please shut up and phone your mothers and tell em that. I was so tired of the Mother's Day Facebook messages yesterday.

"But LondonDiva c'mon now when you have kids you're gonna want a lil something from your children?"

The hell I am not.

When I have children I want nothing more from my kids than to be well mannered, respectful and do their very best in school and be the best that they can be in life. Looking at them, getting kisses and cuddles and 'I love you mummy' will make EVERYDAY Mother's Day for me. If my kids want to treat me by drawing me a picture [JUST BECAUSE] or try and fix me a snack in the kitchen when they can reach the counter and stand on the stool, then I'd appreciate the 'just because' effort. I want to teach my children to be generous from the heart and do for others sincerely rather than by following fashion just because it's a said date. Have you ever been given the last cookie by a little toddler? I have and it the cutest thing that warms my heart. That is the stuff that I want that will make it all complete for me. I'm not going to enforce all these 'holidays' and forcing to give if (a) they don't have the means or (b) they genuinely aren't feeling like giving around that time. And that's OK. Yes it's good to give but there are days when hey, you're just not in the giving mood.

So there you have it.

With Christmas YOU'RE SUPPOSED to show Goodwill to all men ALL THE TIME and give gifts when you feel like it at other times of the year [JUST BECAUSE]
With Valentine's Day YOU'RE SUPPOSED to show love and adoration and treat the one you love at other times of the year [JUST BECAUSE]
With Mother's Day YOU'RE SUPPOSED to show love and adoration and treat your mother at other times of the year [JUST BECAUSE]

I want my babies last cookie on any day of the week. Stuff the Mother's Day holiday!

Law of Attraction, Valentine's Day & He's Just Not That Into You...Combined!

I'm a believer in God. A believer in positivity. And a firm believer that Valentine's Day is pure BS. I've already had my Valentine's Day rant.

For those, like me, who don't care for it over the course of the past 24 hours I've received 2 sources of 'makes sense' reading about Feb 14th and on what to expect from relationships now and going forward. Some of this way of thinking I already adopt in my life anyway **pats myself on the back,** but there are some that don't and need to, men and women alike.

One is courtesy of a link from Fashogi from CNN...Cheers mate! Do not adjust your PC resolution the brotha featured on that article does have a big ass head!

And the other is from my weekly Law of Attraction newsletter. [I've
highlighted the points which I agree with and get my head nodding, I'll add my own little tidbits below as well]. Both are good reads.

By Karen Luniw
He's just not that into you...

Recently the movie based on the book 'He's just not that into you' came out to theaters. What gets me wondering is whether people will finally get the message.

As a girl growing up, I was always desperate to be loved. I always had boyfriends and had no problems around that except for one thing....many of my boyfriends were absolutely no good for me or my self-esteem.

Of course, I attracted that because I had low self-esteem. Then, one day in my late 20's or early 30's, everything changed. I stopped looking for love and started enjoying being with me and finding out what I wanted from my life. [And this is why I say it's very important to enjoy that 'Me Time' post relationship, rather than jump into a new one hoping to fill the void from the last]
When Geoff came into my life shortly thereafter, I was ready for him...or at least pretty ready. You see, he called when he said he was going to call. He looked thrilled to see me and he was nice to me and excited to introduce me to his friends. [If you're having to chase, He's Just Not That Into You. Any man that wants you will make the effort. If he doesn't then don't even bother. But Please stop all of this calling him and bellowing into the phone "Why didn't you call me when you said you would?"]

What did I do? I kept looking for flaws - he was too good to be true, so much so that I almost started picking fights because I couldn't understand why he was so good to me and then I stopped. [I was doing this during my first and very long term relationship. After reading this it made sense as to why.] He was exactly what I had been hoping for but I had to grow into the person that could accept that level of love, sharing and intimacy. And I did, I just accepted that I was good enough to be treated well. Did you get that - I finally allowed myself to be treated well!! [Men and women alike need to adopt and remember this attitude. Trust me even I have thought why me? Why do you like me and want to talk to me, spend with, send sweet lovey dovey messages to, think about? You have to start developing and attitude and a mentality that says (a) Yes I am in his/her league [money and status aside] and (b) I am worthy of all of this attention and then some dammit!!

Every week I get emails from people who want a particular person in their life - usually someone that has already been in their life and has moved on. The writer usually wants to know how to get that person back. (And yes, I am so guilty of this in my past!)

It breaks my heart because everyone deserves to have the 'Mr. Right' or 'Miss Right'. What ends up happening is that the focus of these writers is on what is no longer a match for them. That's a focus on lack, not love. Dr. Phil said it the best - your boyfriend or girlfriend should be treating you as the special person you really are (or something along those lines!). In any case, all of us deserve to be treated wonderfully and if someone in your life isn't treating you that way - they don't deserve to be in your life. [Oh I have learnt the hard way. Or is it easy way where you see the 'he isn't treating me well' pattern and kick him to the curb, over seeing his behaviour and hoping it will change. It's true if you believe you are worthy, then believe you deserve to be treated as such!]

Get this - and especially for Valentine's Day - focus on the great times you had with the other person, focus on the qualities (not the person) that you loved and then focus on being good to yourself. If that person who is now gone is meant to be with you - they will be attracted back to you by the focus on the good stuff rather than the focus on getting them back. Truly, that rarely works out in the long run.

Also, get this....we all will move heaven and earth to be with the person we really want to be with and if someone is not doing that for you, don't make up excuses for them. They are not the right person for you and vice versa....period. [**slaps hand on table** tell it [white woman] sistah. Trust me when you are really feeling or in love with someone you will move heaven and earth. Or at least tried your hardest to do so. I want a make an effort man. Lazy men need not apply]
If you can do these few things and accept this new understanding into your consciousness you will turn a new page in your life and next Valentine's Day will ROCK!

You deserve the life of your dreams - make it happen! [Let the church say amen!!!]

Valentine's Day - Here We Go Again!

Valentine's Day is just plain bollocks to me. I thought it was bollocks when I was with my ex and I still think it's bollocks as a single woman.

I am so glad this year it falls on a Saturday so I don't

have to endure my tube journey home with all these smiling fools aka women standing there with the many hundreds carrying a bouquet of flowers acting like they are indeed special.

**GASP**

Oh my goodness. How original. What? You mean to tell me your man bought you flowers as a surprise? And what was that? He's taking you out to dinner too? Wow you must be special.

No you're not sweethearts. You're really not.

A lot of men feel they have to buy/do something for you whiny bunch of women on this day because they'll be in the doghouse if they don't. On all the other 364+ days on the Tube where are the bouquet carrying women?

Why you need a day to remind your asses to be romantic and treat your partner, I don't know. Why women get all happy they've received flowers at work like all of the other women have, I don't know either.

If you date me, I have a rule about February 14th. Do not buy me a damn thing. Please I beg you do not! I will not even be upset about it, I never have been. Like I did with my ex I had to explain to him that any gift or surprise had to be from the heart because HE WANTED TO, not because every dickhead was running around doing the typical chocolates, flowers, cards and dinner deal. I loved it when I came home on a random day in April and he was cooking dinner...just because. Or came over to my house, let himself in and I woke up to him standing at the end of the bed with a bunch of flowers on a Sunday morning.

And that's how it should be. Notice how many years on I still remember that, even though my ex is now a proud father and shacked up with a long-term girlfriend of his own to now spoil. I wasn't expecting it, and the fact that he went out of his way on a day when it wasn't Valentine's Day made it even the more special. I loved that. I'm not impressed by people who follow the masses with this Christmas and Valentine's Day lark. I'm sorry it takes a lot more than flowers, chocolates on the supposedly romantic day of the year to get me going.

When you're with the one you love, everyday [minus the days of not speaking due to arguments] should be the genuine Valentine's Day.

So my girlfriends should know by now I am NOT the one to be calling when you want to get all gushy about what your man did as a surprise for you next Saturday. When he's pulling out the stops on March 23rd or August 15th just because, then call me and boast about it, I'd be more than willing to listen to you gush about a real man and his idea of romancing his woman...just because.

What will I be doing this Valentine's Day. I volunteered to have my cousin Ronni for the weekend so my aunt and her boyfriend can get all festive. **Rolls eyes** We will be cuddling up with Ted and her new teddy bear Poppy under the blanket watching Iron-Man and pigging out on Jamaican take-away. It's just another Saturday to me with the one I've always loved!