11 Feb 2010

My Take On The Whole John Mayer Thing!

N.B. I don't listen to his music, I couldn't even name one of his songs and don't even know what his singing voice sounds like. 
My fellow people NEVER cease to amaze me. NEVER.

So John Mayer’s penis is the only part of him that doesn’t want a black woman. Neither does Tiger Woods. GET.OVER.IT!!!

I skimmed through it, shrugged and thought "is that it? I know of black women that have said far worse about black men."

*Not shocked. Not surprised. Don’t really care to be honest*

Getting all mad over a dude a ton of you probably didn’t find attractive or have the chance of dating, yet want him to be attracted to you. So all of Tiger’s jump off’s should have been black as he himself is part black, and John Mayer should want to sleep with black woman being a white man??? Everybody is supposed to want us just because we’re black women?


I’ve spoken to many black women who are quick to point out many physical and psychological reasons as to why they could never get with a white, Indian or Chinese man, but have no problems thinking that some of them are fine. Ever think white men think the same thing about us? There are a lot of black women whose lips [both of them] will never come into contact with a white man and a lot of the reasons, some could say are racist.

So what’s the damn difference?

John Mayer, like me has a preference. He said the N word, and it seems that there won’t be a time in the near distant future of him pro-creating or even be practising the art of pro-creation with a black woman. Someone needs to tell these same women that are getting mad at this to actually be made aware that some black men also use the N word and have no desire to be with black women either. Then there are some of those men who will break it down even further that will want black women but not want them to be too dark and have a certain hair type. If you’re gonna have a problem with Mayer, have a problem with all of them! They’re no different.

It’s amazing what we let ‘our fellow men’ in the entertainment industry get away with when it comes to disrespecting us, yet get all up in arms over a white musician saying x, y and z.

You know what John C Mayer, stay dating the likes of Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston and stick to your preference of not wanting to be with a black woman. I’d much rather that, than continue to see black women constantly disrespected by our own in music videos and in lyrics where the majority buying demographic of hip-hop are young white males. Way to go fellas!!!! Back in the day black women were beaten and raped in front of black men by whites. Fast forward to 2010 where we have rights, control and power and you choose to name call, disrespect and objectify black women publicly in front of white people.

Want us, nurture us, love us and respect us, or leave us well and truly alone! And that goes for ANY man of ANY race!

From looking at my Twitter timeline yesterday and the comments surrounding this, I noticed something very interesting. A majority of those that weren’t fazed were single black women. People chat enough of their business for you to know who is single, married or in a relationship. Was this a shock to the system of many a single sistah?

“Oh no one less man out on the planet finds us desirable. What if he is an example of the minds of many? It’s hard enough for me to find a decent and good black man already to the point where I was thinking about going over to the other side, and now John Mayer says this? I’m doomed!” We’re nice to look at, but that’s as far as it goes? I thought everyone wanted us!”-signed crazy single black woman

Black women please get over yourselves. John Mayer doesn’t want you just as much as you don’t want to get with a dude who has the last name Patel or Singh.

Someone made a valid point yesterday. A lot of black women say [and I’ve heard this a lot] that white men only want us for sex. Looking at the statistics of single mothers left to raise the BLACK babies ALONE what is that saying about black men?

On one hand you have John Mayer who doesn’t want any black coochie as his penis is a white supremacist. On the other hand you have the likes of Lil Wayne who wants to '**** every girl in the world', impregnates three black women in less than a year adding to the rising statistics. Neither of these dudes respect or value black women. Let’s just keep it real folks when we choose to get mad about something we already do, have done or think ourselves.


  1. You are so on point yet again!

    I was one of those who didn't get up in arms because as you said, he expressed a preference. He has his, I have mine, we all have our own.

    Seriously if we have reached 2010 and are still arguing about foolishness; well that's not progress. Let's stay grounded and remember what really matters in life.


  2. Girl I dont think I can add more to this post!! I've never liked John Mayer, his music irritates me !but that's besides the point whether i like him/his music or not!

    I wonder those who are mad actually thought they had a chance with John Mayer??If not, then why you mad??No seriously why are they mad??Just because of our colour an ugly white guy must want to sleep with us?I think NOT! Where is the rule that every man of every colour n creed should want a black woman?

    How can one hate on JohnMayer?Because he said n****?but errr how many rappers say that?oooh its ok if a black guy says it as a term of 'endearment'ooh its that conversation all over again now?!?
    Lets get over it! !

    To each his own, John Mayer doesnt want a black woman as much as I don't want to be Mrs Chung!!

  3. Seriously as a fan of his music and him I will say I was never that deluded to think I had a chance. Nor was I offended he was sexually attracted to white women. I kinda saw the dating pattern and was clued in before. That's all fine. My problem with the interview was the N word, the whole black pass and what he said about Kerry Washington was highly offensive. Sexualising her in that manner was not on and I bet her white fiancee wouldn't be pleased either.

  4. Ever noticed Black people are the only race that give passes to other races?And its usually when the other race acts errrr how can I be pc about this?ok no pc word but when the person is a 'philanderer, dropping their pants etc'ie its hardly ever good behaviour! eg we as a people need to stop this foolishness.
    @K - I don't condone what JM said about Kerry Washington BUT our own black men have said far worse!!!

  5. LD, even if I was single I wouldn't be fazed. I was going to pass neither wind nor comment about this dude until I read your post.

    I agree with K - I don't think he should have said the N word. As long as you're not black you're NEVER going to get away with saying it; sorry. Hell, if you're white and you diss black people and don't use the N word ('nappy-headed hoes', anyone?) you get grief for it.

    Anyway, your take on it is spot on - we have to check our hypocrisy at the door, as he's said what a lot of people think when it comes to interracial dating. Us black women have ALL had the 'I can't see myself with a *insert non-black ethnicity here* man, I don't find them attractive' conversation at some point. Where do you think the phrase 'pretty fly... for a white guy' came from? It sure wasn't from white women!

    I'm sure, years and years ago, there was a survey of the 100 Hottest Black Men in the Voice or New Nation; Brad Pitt and Eminem got honorary mentions because they were considered hot - the subtext being 'regardless of the fact they are white'. Most black women I know wouldn't be seen in public with a white man but would happily drop their knickers for Johnny, George, Justin or Brad.

    Oh, and as for his 'pass'? I know he's saying that black people think he's cool because we buy his music (and because our collective opinion is the arbiter or all that is cool or wack), but if all we have to offer in return for granting someone 'coolness' is a 'ghetto pass' then something's a bit wrong here. Is that the best we can do?

  6. I had to edit my post. The part where I noticed those who were fazed by it WERE single black women.

  7. I just happened to stumble upon this blog and I loved your take on the whole matter.
    I've always been pro-choice and never thought much about individual dating preferences...you date whosoever gets your motor running...green, blue, black, white, gay or straight...and if I don't get you all hot and bothered I understand...You're just not into me! How you let me know it is a whole other ballgame!
    My only major issue with his interview were his disrespectful and immature comments regarding his exes, especially Jessica Simpson...I mean seriously "Sexual napalm"....what is he...16?
    I'm just wondering why he bothered to apologize the next day...after-all he did pen a song called "Say" which has a snippet that goes a lil something like this "Say what you wanna say" :-D.

  8. I love this blog. Better than reading a magazine or newspaper, at times. I've never listened to John Mayer though I have heard good things concerning his brand of music. I can't say that I was shocked by his comments either, I guess I've become numb to spur of the moment remarks.

    It's hard for me to believe that Maye wouldn't desire a beautiful and intelligent black woman.

    Too funny @ your remarks concerning Weezy F. Baby.

  9. Why do Black women ALWAYS throw black men under the bus. Whenever a White man says something stupid.


    1. White says something stupid or does something against Black women.

    2. A Black women says it isn't a big deal, and Black people are overreacting.

    3. A Black woman says that he is an individual and doesn't represent all white men.

    4. A Black women then proceeds to generalize ALL Black men while defending this one individual white man.

    It is the same formula over and over again. You need to wake up.

  10. Joe no need to throw them under the bus, they put themselves right out in front of it. If you would read, LD never said "All black men" she is talking about some amd the majority of hip hop that is put out today Like it our not, what she stated is true. Just because the truth hurts, that doesn't make it any less true. But it's not just black men either, we black women are responsible for laying down with them as well another thing she has ranted about.

    I too don't think John Mayer is racist. It think he is just dumb and made stupid comments. He has a preference just like everyone does. His problem is putting down someone else in order to justify his preference. Just say you like what you like and keep it moving. What he said about JS was stupid as well. I mean what grown man talks about his sex life like that out in the open? That was just as disgusting to me. Bottom line is, stupid is as stupid does. Call a spade a spade and keep it moving. John Mayer's views won't change how I feel about myself. My self worth is not built upon how many people find me desirable. I love myself enough already!!! Q

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  12. Q - you know what is also true. The sun is very hot, and ice is cold.

    I have notice that Black women seem incapable of talking about the failings of a particular white male. Without using the Ad Hominem attack of relating it to Black men.

    If you were honest with yourself. You are doing exactly that. I don't think John Mayer is a racist at all. I think he said something stupid. But he is a white male, and it will blow over by next week. That is the truth. Unlike Kanye who to this day is still apologizing for Taylor Swift.

    But for example, when Lindsey Lohan got arrested in her car accident. She tried to blame it on a Black male in the car. If I or other Black men came out and said. "Yeah that was messed up, but Black women do that even worse." How ridiculous, and foolish of a comment would that have been. That is what Black women do every single time a white man says something negative about Black women.

    I understand that Black women are fighting hard to be seen as colorblind today. But it seems to have crossed over to blind idol worship of white men. Some black women are more overt about it than others.

    Being Colorblind doesn't mean being a white apologist. Treat everybody the same. Treat Black men as individuals. Yeah give them the same treatment you give White men. Call out White guys when he does some bullsht. You don't have to pepper it by throwing Black men under the bus. That is just white worship. That is the truth.

  13. Joe- some folks think fat meat ain't greasy but it is.

    This has nothing to do with John Mayer being white. I call out bullcrap on everyone be it white, black or whatever. So now that makes me a white apologist? White worship? Really? That's funny. I apologize for no one. I have an opinion whether you agree with it or not. When Don Imus made his ignorant ass remarks about those basketball team members, I called him out. When Rush Limbaugh makes his stupid racist comments, I call him out. Unlike you, I don't paint everyone with one brush. I stand by my opinion of John Mayer. This is coming from someone who doesn't care for him and isn't a fan of his music either. But it won't stop me from calling black men to the carpet on their bullish either. Nope, I love my brothers too much to let them continue to do dumb ish.

    And yes, I do agree there is a double standard when a black man does something stupid and what's your point? Am I supposed to turn a blind eye simply because it's a black man. Hell no. I call out all bullcrap as I see fit. Oh and trust black women get is just as bad. We are too dark, our hair is too nappy, we are too loud, and on and on from our own men. But I know the small few that think like that, don't represent the whole. I don't care about being seen as colorblind esp not from folks who don't have a heaven or hell to put me in. I speak my mind how I see fit and I worship NO ONE but the Lord. Nice try but you can miss me with that. Q

  14. Queeny, you summed it up perfectly.

    Joe Clyde, learn to read and stop with the selectiveness! It's clearly quoted in the blog "It’s amazing what we let ‘our fellow men’ in the entertainment industry...."

    YOU decided to pigeon hole ALL black men. Not me! I mentioned the entertainment industry specifically as that as an industry where black women have been OVERLY disrespected by some black artists. Since when does ALL BLACK MEN fit into that category?

    I also wrote "some black men also use the N word" Note particular attention to the word SOME.

    I can't stand people like yourself who have the ability to read something, then totally disregard the content and comment on something that has people scratching their heads saying "WTH is this dude on? He's missed the point entirely." I will leave the comments made by others who have read your comment to myself, but let's just say this...the general consensus wasn't in your favour at all.

    White worship? Dude you haven't got a clue about my thoughts, views and opinions of those of the Caucasian persuasion. And don't think you're 'getting me' just because you're privy to my thoughts in one blog. It just scratches the surface of my complex character. Something I doubt you'll ever be able to understand fully, as one blog already was too much for you to comprehend.

    Is the term white worship supposed to be some kind of affront to me? Some kind of cuss? A curse word? Something thrown at me to belittle me? Lookie here! I am black, my friends are black, my family are black, my husband will be black, my children will also be black. GET OVER the fact that a BLACK woman can think and speak logically when it comes to BLACK people and not feel she owes the entire race something by hiding behind hypocrisy to make themselves as a whole look better.

    NOBODY lends a hand throwing any BLACK man or woman under the bus who clearly doesn't pay attention to oncoming traffic in the first place. What people like myself and Queeny do is stand by the sidelines like a reporter simply commenting on the tragedy we've witnessed before our very eyes. Like the state of the single parent family in our community is outrageous. The black prison population is outrageous. The fact that black women are disrespected in the music entertainment industry is outrageous. *checks arm...yep aired dirty laundry...still black* But guess what, there are black men out there, working hard getting an education, staying faithful, respectful, and raising families etc...but this right here is not about them! Geez you think the minute a black man is mentioned in a not so positive light you think you have a black man hating woman in your midst. Couldn't be further from the truth. I'm not going to write "Lil Wayne is a disgrace, but kudos to the brothas holding it down" just to make you all feel better? No! Truth be told, the backs of some black women are tired from propping up your egos and have carpal tunnel syndrome from stroking them too. You want a "We are Kings" blog then go and write one yourself.

    You know what you remind me of. One of those hush hush black folks. Want the thoughts, views and negative opinions we have of our own people kept on the hush hush so the white folks can't see what we're saying, rather than acknowledge it say it's wrong and want to right it. 'Kissin mi raas claat teeth'

    In closing I will say this....
    If you think I'm going to get mad to the point of a blood vessel bursting over John Mayer and NOT batting an eyelid over the antics towards black women by black men in the industry, then you've come to the wrong blog. You might do hypocrisy, but I don't.

    Black people don't get a pass for bad behaviour simply because we share the same ancestry. Bottom line is whether we share it or not NOBODY gets a pass from me, whether your last name is Singh, Patel, Cho, Katz, Boateng, Lee, MAYER or CARTER!


  15. I made a simple observation about you and other black woman on the whole.

    Whenever a White man does something wrong. Especially if it is against Black women. Black women such as yourself ALWAYS throw Black men under the bus.

    I highly doubt if you were talking solely about little Wayne. You would bring up white men at all.

    That is it. It's the truth, and it is just an observation that is plain as day to see. I guess the light of truth only shines away from the self.

  16. Like I said earlier, when Don Imus said his comments about a predom black female basketball team, I said NOTHING about black men. Not a single peep. I simply attacked him for his stupid comments. So once again, you fail with the ALWAYS arguement. I guess the light of truth only shines when you tell it to do so!!!! Q

  17. i love what jen bervin does with wm s’s sonnets–she “nets” out her own poems in her book “nets” out in 2006 on ugly duckling press. wm s’s sonnet is in a gray scale and her words fomr his are in bold. very cool.


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