"Tyler Perry Doesn't Portray Good Black Men In His Films..."

I hear and read this blanket statement A LOT. I've seen all his movies with the exception of "For Coloured Girls..." but I'm sure my eyes weren't deceiving me with regards to the following characters depicted in his films.

 

 

 

Meet The Browns

Madea Goes To Jail

Daddy's Little Girls

The Family That Preys

Madea Goes To Jail

Madea Goes To Jail

Why Did I Get Married?/Why Did I Get Married Too?

  

Madea's Family Reunion

Why Did I Get Married (In the sequel dude turned crazy. He only gets full props for the first movie)

Why Did I Get Married?/Why Did I Get Married Too?

The Family That Preys

Diary of a Mad Black Woman

I'm sure some people would still have a problem with this list, even after proving that statement incorrect. Just wanted to clear that up.

What Would You Do If...? Friends With Benefits [Scenario]

It's been a little while since you've got a blog out of me, but today that's about to change.....err simply because I'm blogging today.

First things first...unless you want sh*t to come back to haunt you, don't tell your business on the world wide web aka innernets...YES I said innernets. The reason I say that is because, I'm using this scenario which was told to me through a third party and posted on the net. If it's about you and you're reading this, *BIG OL Kanye shrug* not my problem sweetie.

Scenario: (now this could be for a man or a woman, so here goes....)

You have a FWB ('Friend With Benefits' - someone who you have a sexual relationship with sans strings/ties/emotions/commitment) and they no longer have sex with you anymore, but only have you give them head....should you say something?

After a Jamaican roll of the eyes, a kiss teeth and a deep sigh here goes...

NO THE HELL YOU SHOULD NOT SAY A DAMN THING!

That is not your man/woman, that is simply your friend or an acquaintance that you have a sexual relationship with whenever the mood takes you both, or have it scheduled in your phone calendars. The dynamics/problems/concerns with your sex life are only to be discussed with someone who gives you more of their time in a non-physical capacity, and actually acknowledges you as their other half BOTH privately and publicly. The only thing you should be discussing is safe sex and sexual health testing.

Women especially never fair well when it comes to these FWB situations. Why? Women are emotional creatures, and as much as they start out with a male mentality when becoming a FWB, pretty soon they are going to want to spend time with more than just the dick itself and emotions will start to get in the way. The minute a woman starts staying over longer than she should, making plans outside of the sexual arena of the bedroom, thinking about how his last name will sound with hers, getting jealous, anxious or concerned about other women, wanting to know who just called his phone and why is when she should start to realise there maybe more going on with her with regard to her feelings for this man.

Simply put, when you are a friend with a benefit, that's exactly what you are. The only purpose you serve to that person is one of a sexual nature and nothing more. You are a time filler until something fulfilling comes around for them, and a body which they use for their own personal sexual gratification. People need to stop getting it into their heads (the one that rests on their neck) that the power they 'think' they possess with their nether regions is going to somehow snag and keep that person interested for a lifetime. It won't.

Any man that wants to be with you, will be with you for MORE than what he thinks he can get from you on the physical level of things alone. To him the sex will be a bonus, NOT the only deciding factor. To the ladies, your stuff ain't that great, it really isn't. It takes more than your vagina and labia to keep a man hooked and interested, and if you think that's all it takes then you haven't/aren't dealing with real men. Give them (the real men) some credit please! Real men are enticed and excited about a woman's mind, heart, body soul...EVERYTHING. If a man only talks about how you can benefit him physically, then just let it be known, he has shown you who he truly is....believe him. Don't get mad that a man starts off having a sexual relationship with you, doesn't put a label on what you are to him, has told you that it's just about the sex, be grateful you know you're dealing with someone who is honest and isn't stringing you along. 

If you are/have been in that scenario then the person you really should be mad at is yourself for sticking around when the signs are blatantly there. You want a man to be exclusive to you, be committed to you, be more than just about the sex to you, but you're dealing with a man who's just all about the sex??? Sista girl get mad AT YOU, because you're cock blocking your own damn self from the worthy man of your dreams dealing with a dude who won't ever commit to you, in the hopes that he will. There are plenty of men out there who want the commitment, the love, the romance, the relationship, who are willing to show you off to the world and not keep you permanently placed on your back or on your knees, and these men will do it without confusing your ass in the process.

So no you don't have a right to get all uppity if he decides he doesn't want to have sex with you anymore and keeps it strictly on a giving head basis. You've allowed that to happen by limiting yourself to unfulfilling sex, so that's what you get...unfulfilling sex. Getting head for him is all about him and your accommodating his ass like a damn fool, then having the nerve to be mad or upset about it. You don't! One other thing you don't have to the right to be mad at...him having sex with other women. You aren't exclusive in a FWB situation, there is no premium FWB status, the only thing you can ask him to do and be is safe in regards to the sex itself. She has no claim on that man and he has no claim on that woman, what you have stands for nothing more than foreplay, sex, orgasms. That's where it begins and ends.

There are no emotions here, it's strictly physical, so if you decide to 'talk it out' with him, don't expect much as he doesn't even have to consider you or your feelings as this kind of relationship is a selfish one about pleasing the needs of yourselves. If he's not having to screw you anymore but gets head out of the deal then he's winning in the selfish scheme of things, and you my dear yet again have allowed yourself to be played in a game where you think you have rights to add rules to it. If  this scenario was in a relationship/marriage then yes, you definitely have a problem because you're in a valid partnership with that person where love, respect, feelings, emotions and consideration are present. If you're just another number in their phone, notch on their belt, name in their black book don't expect first class treatment when your ass paid for economy.

Some of you really need to check yourselves and who you mess with before you get mad when it comes to messing with men or women. A lot of these idiotic scenarios can be avoided if you remember what you signed up for and know what you're entitled to when delving into these situations. Especially when the status was laid out for you loud n clear in the beginning. 

If they use phrases like:

"I'm not really looking for anything serious right now."

"I just got out of a relationship."

"Why do we have to put a label on it, it only complicates things."

"We just f*cking."

"I thought we were having fun?"

"It's not black, it's not white, it's a grey area."

"You ain't got to go home, but you got to get the hell up outta here."

....chances are you maybe in a FWB situation. If you don't know, now you know.

My Take On The Whole John Mayer Thing!

N.B. I don't listen to his music, I couldn't even name one of his songs and don't even know what his singing voice sounds like. 

My fellow people NEVER cease to amaze me. NEVER.

So John Mayer’s penis is the only part of him that doesn’t want a black woman. Neither does Tiger Woods. GET.OVER.IT!!!

I skimmed through it, shrugged and thought "is that it? I know of black women that have said far worse about black men."

*Not shocked. Not surprised. Don’t really care to be honest*

Getting all mad over a dude a ton of you probably didn’t find attractive or have the chance of dating, yet want him to be attracted to you. So all of Tiger’s jump off’s should have been black as he himself is part black, and John Mayer should want to sleep with black woman being a white man??? Everybody is supposed to want us just because we’re black women?

NEWSFLASH: NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE DESIRABLE OR DESIRED!

I’ve spoken to many black women who are quick to point out many physical and psychological reasons as to why they could never get with a white, Indian or Chinese man, but have no problems thinking that some of them are fine. Ever think white men think the same thing about us? There are a lot of black women whose lips [both of them] will never come into contact with a white man and a lot of the reasons, some could say are racist.

So what’s the damn difference?

John Mayer, like me has a preference. He said the N word, and it seems that there won’t be a time in the near distant future of him pro-creating or even be practising the art of pro-creation with a black woman. Someone needs to tell these same women that are getting mad at this to actually be made aware that some black men also use the N word and have no desire to be with black women either. Then there are some of those men who will break it down even further that will want black women but not want them to be too dark and have a certain hair type. If you’re gonna have a problem with Mayer, have a problem with all of them! They’re no different.

It’s amazing what we let ‘our fellow men’ in the entertainment industry get away with when it comes to disrespecting us, yet get all up in arms over a white musician saying x, y and z.

You know what John C Mayer, stay dating the likes of Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston and stick to your preference of not wanting to be with a black woman. I’d much rather that, than continue to see black women constantly disrespected by our own in music videos and in lyrics where the majority buying demographic of hip-hop are young white males. Way to go fellas!!!! Back in the day black women were beaten and raped in front of black men by whites. Fast forward to 2010 where we have rights, control and power and you choose to name call, disrespect and objectify black women publicly in front of white people.

Want us, nurture us, love us and respect us, or leave us well and truly alone! And that goes for ANY man of ANY race!

From looking at my Twitter timeline yesterday and the comments surrounding this, I noticed something very interesting. A majority of those that weren’t fazed were single black women. People chat enough of their business for you to know who is single, married or in a relationship. Was this a shock to the system of many a single sistah?

“Oh no one less man out on the planet finds us desirable. What if he is an example of the minds of many? It’s hard enough for me to find a decent and good black man already to the point where I was thinking about going over to the other side, and now John Mayer says this? I’m doomed!” We’re nice to look at, but that’s as far as it goes? I thought everyone wanted us!”-signed crazy single black woman

Black women please get over yourselves. John Mayer doesn’t want you just as much as you don’t want to get with a dude who has the last name Patel or Singh.

Someone made a valid point yesterday. A lot of black women say [and I’ve heard this a lot] that white men only want us for sex. Looking at the statistics of single mothers left to raise the BLACK babies ALONE what is that saying about black men?

On one hand you have John Mayer who doesn’t want any black coochie as his penis is a white supremacist. On the other hand you have the likes of Lil Wayne who wants to '**** every girl in the world', impregnates three black women in less than a year adding to the rising statistics. Neither of these dudes respect or value black women. Let’s just keep it real folks when we choose to get mad about something we already do, have done or think ourselves.

I'm Just So Into You [And It Shows] Black Love

I'm a die hard romantic I love how these black men are so into their women and never afraid to show it.

Ummm no T.I. and Tiny pics here...sorry

I know there are a ton of other black celebs that are happily married/together but these 3 just can't seem to keep their hands off of each other.

I swear sometimes from the body language I'm convinced that Bey and Jigga aren't even married [even though I know they are].

I'm Black. You're Black & a Criminal, So That Means Unity by Colour?

...I don't think so.

Tyson, OJ, Michael Vick as examples in this case. Because for nearly 20 years I've heard too much bullshit spout out of the mouths of my fellow people surrounding these cretins.

Let's be clear about this right here. Those 3 men I do not give a fuck about. I don't care about white judges dishing out unfair sentences, or care that they may get more than their white counterparts for the very same crime. I just don't care. And yes I have had close to 50% of the men in my family IN PRISON, loved them, but not sympathised with their situation one iota. The women knew to act right, were brought up by the same parents, grandparents but they thought they were bad so let them get the hell on with it and serve their time if they think they're bad then. My younger cousin served time shortly before his 18th birthday. I didn't visit him once, because before he was out he wasn't checking for me, the minute he's incarcerated my name is down on a visiting order? Why? And I'm supposed to spend my Sunday making the loooooong visit to a place to because you didn't know how to behave yourself and listen to your mother. Please. None of these men in my family grew up in the ghetto either. just an FYI.

Black people turn straight foolish when it comes to defending the likes of these people, and it's based solely on them being a black man. When you decide to become a criminal, you get no representation or me pumping a fist in your corner, or thinking your situation is sad JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK.

Like I've said before if you AS A BLACK MAN KNOWS the system will come down on you harder, JUST BECAUSE you're black then why are you out there committing a damn crime to begin with? I don't care whether you steal a Capri Sun from a grocery store or murder somebody every crime has its repercussions. You know the police are going to come down on you HARD cause of your skin colour. That is the equivalent of teasing a bull with a bright red sheet.

We spend so much time talking about our incarcerated brothas, the system and the white man that's done them wrong and continues to do them wrong. I quite frankly don't care and will sleep soundly at night. And I do, each and every night. The only circumstances where it's wrong are the genuinely innocent people locked up in prison, and that goes for innocent men of ALL colours, not just my fellow black man.

I AM T.I.R.E.D. of these asshole criminals, and even more tired of the assholes who defend them.

Can we get some praise for the brothas
IN SCHOOL
WORKING HARD
LOOKING AFTER THEIR CHILDREN IN A FAMILY UNIT.
LOOKING AFTER THEIR CHILDREN [even though YOU'RE SUPPOSED to be looking after your children anyway, just this once I'll put this one in here]
SETTING UP THEIR OWN BUSINESSES.
RESPECTFUL TO WOMEN.
NOT OUT THERE GETTING THEMSELVES INTO TROUBLE.
....and whatever other positives you brothas are doing. Not letting your past/background be an excuse for a way of life when so many homeless/ghetto raised/poorly educated/past gang members are making something of themselves and never once said because I am/was x, y, and z let me use that as a reason NOT to get ahead in life.

These are the brothas I have time for and will continue to have time for. The likes of Tyson, OJ, and Vick take away the limelight of stories about black men we are supposed to be hearing about.

So you wanna be a big time sports star and rape, murder, breed dogs for fighting? Isn't your salary and fame enough? Don't you realise your dollars in your bank account will not help you escape from a prison term, because no matter how rich you get, to a lot of non-black folks,you're just another nigger and always will be. A nigger with a bank account. Then what happens is you fall right into what you hear, lose everything and to them become just 'another nigger in jail.' Parents need to teach their children that yes you can [now with Obama] be anything that you want to be, but remember to some people, no matter how much money you make, you'll always be viewed as one type of person and that's lower than others. But don't believe it to be true.

If you decide to overstep that line where one side says law abiding citizen and the other criminal. That's on you my friend. How can it be SAD that white folks especially wanted to see these men go down. SAD? Give me a mutha effin break. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN.

Do NOT get it twisted there are black folks out there who wanted to see the likes of these folks go down too and it boils down to common sense recognising in wanting a criminal to PAY for their actions and not repping them and wanting them to get a lighter sentence because he's black.

If some of you are really hurt and hard done by that these judges who dish out the sentences are racist, then why don't you go and push your kids into becoming high profile judges, rather than lil LeBron's and Beyonce's, so one day they can help all the black criminals either get off or serve very minimal sentences*

*The last paragraph was very sarcastic for those that just didn't get it, but if you really feel that strongly about the WRONG doing of OUR CRIMINALS, then please take it the hell seriously.

No Ghettoness Please! We're Suburbanites!

I woke up to this text from my sister at 6:57am "a man has been shot in the head on grange road!!! You be careful x x "

This came through my front door from the police this afternoon, after doing door to door enquiries. I saw them, but went out before they came to my house.

I wasn't even scared, I was vex when I heard about this. To turn off Grange Road will lead you onto my road. I live in South Norwood, it's very suburban, and I wouldn't call it ghetto, so why has this ghetto youth foolishness now spread to these sides? And not with a stabbing, or whack around the head with a baseball bat, we're talking bullet in the head!!!

I've lived here for 22 years. In the same house, so I've seen from 7-29 years old this area grow and change. ASBO (Anti-Social Behaviour Order) kids we've had yes, now to the point of gun crime round the corner? Take that mess back to Myatts Field Estate where it's the norm.

Listen, I know crime is everywhere yes, but I remember the days where it was rife and concentrated to the likes of Brixton, Hackney, Peckham to name but a few. These areas have, or still have a reputation to some degree but you can't even say these areas house it all anymore. Where you knew certain areas of Peckham were bad you always knew you had that comfort of coming back to SE25 where everything was alright and these things didn't happen. So after The Apprentice finishes last night, round the corner fools are pumping bullets into someone at 10pm.

I'm a Londoner! Get me out of here!

If I go from here to somewhere else I know crime will exist there, but when you've lived here and see it going downhill you may as well just go move to the ghetto where at least you know what you're getting drugs, robbery, muggings, prostitution and murder. I don't want no damn surprises in Suburbia where kids play in their back gardens and old women walk their dogs, which is what makes it worse. If this was in Peckham, you'd expect it, as it 'comes with the territory' in some parts there.

I didn't need to hear the radio to know it was a 'black thing' In London if you're Black, White or Asian and get stabbed or shot, you will make the news. There isn't the whole 'let's push the black crimes to the forefront and make them look bad as a people', well not from what I've seen and heard anyway. I follow these stabbing/shooting stories closely and find that the police don't take the crime any less seriously than if the victim was white. Now in the US [in certain states] there maybe that issue, but I'm not getting that vibe here.

Sadly but not surprised, a majority of these stabbings and shootings are black on black. Anyone that wants to get mad at that better go find a remote island called Denial and sit their ass there. I'm not a black woman that thinks everything negative that happens in our community isn't down to us and it's really the man making it happen. I'm a realist baby. We screw up, I'll talk about it. We do well, I'll talk about. I give props and bashings where it's due. Sharing an African/Caribbean heritage doesn't warrant a pass from me and some black folks in 2009 need to wake up and stop thinking that the sun shines out of our asses and that we're being forced to do wrong, commit crime and have a high percentage of school expulsions.

Let's stop with the white man, economic issues finger pointing and get started on accepting some damn responsibility and start parenting like our parents and grandparents did.

• Stop trying to be friends with your kids and be parents.
• Show discipline and demand respect from these little low-lifes, and have their asses at home on a school night.
• If the police or school come to the door about your child, he deserves an ass whooping for bringing shame to your front door. Instead you wanna stand up there and act like your son is an angel and cuss the principal or the policeman out. Angels don't have the police coming to your front door or the teachers calling your house because Tyrone is being disruptive in class or skipping class altogether.
• You have no business walking the street at 11pm when you are 13 years old. Take your ass to bed and read a damn book. No wonder these little bastards can't even spell or know the difference in the meaning of 'there' and 'their'.

If we make up 2% of the country's population and a smaller percentage are in London with the rest spread out amongst other major cities like Bristol, Birmingham, Manchester etc, then WTF is going on at an alarming rate with our people that the LONDON Metropolitan Police have to set up a division SPECIFICALLY to deal with black on black crime?

Seriously people answer me that? I'd like to find out the time span of the last 5 murders where the victims were black and the perpetrator was NOT. I can't think of one off the top of my head, but if you can then feel free to let me know.

Some people may not like Trident and they usually don't because as a people we don't like our 'dirty laundry being aired in public', but obviously it was cause for concern for the Met to set it up in the first place. Trust! If there was a huge rate of Indian vs. Indian crime, we'd be sitting here wondering WTF is their problem and WTH is going on, there's obviously an 'issue' of great magnitude that deserves special focus and attention on it.

What is the problem that out of so many races, creeds and colours we as a people a lot of the times can't even get along? Whether it be jealously, a screw face at the club to black gangs rivalling other black gangs. We got some issues where we'll turn on our own before we'd even think to get vex and screw face with the White or Asian girl in the club or Black man in the street.

Someone just Twittered me and saw it as more of a money/economical issue. I respectfully disagree. I have been young and dumb, and hated on black girls as a black girl, and hated hard, just because they were black. I wasn't bothered about the whites or asians. I saw the black girl instantaneously as my enemy before I saw her as a sista. A lot of folks feel this way, even if they don't know why. Hey, at least I can admit it, not saying it makes it right. But I like to be open about my faux pas's and not give off this perfect and holier than thou image about myself.

When I walk the street as a 29 year old woman (who now has more sense) I get the stares from black women and the looks from young black men like they want to rush me on the street. Black youths here have no problem in being disrespectful to women I have you know. I look around A LOT (I'm an observant person) I don't see this amongst whites, or Asians much [of course it happens, not saying they don't do it] but a walk from Thornton Heath train station to my house just walking past black people as a black person there is a vibe from a perfect stranger, looking in my face hard like I've done them something. Is that even necessary? Why do we always have to walk the street looking like we want beef, a fight, or arguments. Something is in the air with us as a people.

How many times have you been in a car, at the traffic lights next to a car with black folks in there and you feel some kind of tension like if you casually look over, something is gonna kick off? Defenses go up, for what reason? Don't know they just do. Are we very highly strung, always wanting to prove one is badder than the other? When I was this young, angry black woman it surely wasn't about money or economical issues with regard to my mindset. I've mentioned before in previous blogs I was one of those girls that always wanted to get into it with anyone, didn't care who, just big up your chest and see who's bad....just because I was I guess bad mind. A lot of kids aren't admitting that these days. There are some people out there that just get off on just being or wanting to be perceived as a bad ass or bad mind.

Of course we as a people are not all bad or have issues with one another. Black on black crimes are not isolated in the western world to just the USA, it's a proven epidemic in the UK now too and they're bringing it hard to my area now it seems.

What Happened To Just Being 'Bad Mind'?

I see I have some new followers. Welcome and thanks. If you don't know, this is the 'Keep It Real' section of the world wide web. LondonDiva has and always will be very opinionated. Some may get offended [so what], others like what I have to say.

I've been a lil AWOL from blogging world [both reading and writing] as since being laid off I've been busy as hell. And the thought of sitting down other than to eat whilst sneaking in a few minutes of Sex & The City, on DVD just seems lazy to me right about now.

I've got the heavy grafting out of the way. Still busy, but haven't devoted much time to my movie pastime. I got a DVD this morning. A film called Cass [true story] from my DVD rental club. To sum it up it's about a Jamaican baby who was adopted by an English, elderly, white couple and he grows up in East London as a West Ham and notorious football hooligan.

So I'm there, Twittering away on the Blackberry and watching this film. And I thought let me switch on the computer and blog. This place [blogville] is my outlet and I need to get it out.

The film is on pause downstairs. Prison scene. A black man has entered prison in the 70's and I got to thinking....

I am not the one to come at with this whole bullshit excuse about black men and the system. Wanna know why from MY PERSPECTIVE. OK here goes.

Over, say the last 20 years. More so in the 90's and 00's if there is anything wrong with you in any capacity there is a name and a condition for it.

• You get depressed when the clocks go back, you can buy a clock which brightens up your room in the morning and say you suffer from a condition called S.A.D.
• Your ass is lazy in school. You got A.D.D.
• You throw up after meals, you're bulimic.
• You starve yourself, you're anorexic.
• You rob, steal, murder and rape. It's because you never had a father whilst growing up and your mother had to work two jobs.

Spare me the mother fucking drama.

Don't get it twisted. For some things I do believe there is a condition and people have it like the S.A.D. and A.D.D. amongst others. But not every lazy ass kid in school has A.D.D. and not every person who dislikes the winter months suffers from S.A.D. How about bright and summer months are preferred over dark and cold days? If I was still in school I think they would have given me the A.D.D. tag. Seriously. I never did homework and never revised for my GCSE exams. I even dropped out of college, because I skipped class to hang out and socialise. I left school passing my exams. I was clever still am, just lazy, didn't pay attention and had a short attention span. No condition. LondonDiva was a lazy student. PERIOD! All I knew was I wanted money and I wanted it now. Luckily I was never 'bad mind' to be a criminal. But I can see where the desire stems from.

When you read report after report after report you begin to believe all the BS these doctors and scientists are spouting, please go find a cure for AIDS and Cancer. If Hitler was alive and in full effect today, guess what? There would be a childhood reason PLUS condition for the way that he is that would excuse his behaviour or give us reason to somewhat sympathise and understand to a degree.

Tired of it!

I'm a Chris Rock fan. And in one of his shows he was referring to crazy people [namely criminals] and he said along the lines of "whatever happened to just plain old crazy?"

Yes Chris **applauds**. Whatever did happen to just plain old crazy? We gotta put a label on every damn thing. So much so I even tried to find out a name of a condition as to why I went to bed in the early hours of the morning and not like 10pm like most normal people. There is nothing wrong with my black ass. I just like going to bed when I feel like it. I got suckered into finding a condition for my own sleep pattern. Which was just that, a sleep pattern.

You know why I get so tired, so pissed off when my own black people want to start going off on the damn police all the time for GUILTY brothas being incarcerated? They are missing the damn point, that is why?

What is your black ass doing committing crimes to the point where you're gonna get caught, then stand there and talk about the police being racist? In 2009 are you that simple? And on top of that, people on the sidelines what are you getting so angry for at someone breaking the law and getting caught. That's supposed to happen, black, white, Latino or Asian. You do something illegal. There is a penalty for it. I'm not going to start sticking up for dumb folks because we share African lineage. *Shakes head* sorry, no.

Black folks here's a warning for those still on the basic levels of pure common sense. If you know the police are racist and always on a brothas ass, then don't do some dumb shit to give them reason to put you away. Even smoking weed in public. They will tear you up before the white boy in your crew. So don't get vex about it!

The 'I wish you would' syndrome. We black folks have it. I surely do. Remember Cedric The Entertainer talking about it in The Original Kings of Comedy?

• Oh I wish you'd say something to make me go off on your ass.
  
• Oh I wish someone would be in my damn seat so I could go off on your ass.
• Oh I wish you'd just look at me in that way again so I could go off on your ass.
• Say something, just SO I CAN GO OFF ON YOUR ASS!
  

Ever stop to think a black man getting caught for committing a crime is a white police officer's 'I wish you would' syndrome? They are more than happy to lock you up for some dumb shit. Just because (a) it's dumb and (b) you're black.

Of course I think it's wrong for the typical pulling a brotha over because he's driving a nice ride earned with legit money. Or throwing him in a cell because 'he fits the description' and we all know they think we all look alike. Well guess what, to me white folks look alike too [especially blond white women]. So do Chinese, Koreans, Japanese and Indian folks. I don't know the bloody difference half the time. I can pretty much tell it with my people. I'm not saying I agree with it [the police], but I can understand [to a degree] with them looking the same to me also. And yes even some of my friends say a lot of white people look alike to them too, so it's not just me. And if we think it then other races think it too. So let's stop with the rubbish and feeling insulted by THEM thinking that WE all look the same, when we do it to each other.

I'm not backing the police 100% but I'm not hating them 100% either, because when you are in need your gonna be looking to dial 911 or 999 with a quickness, so I'm not quick to disparage that public service when I personally haven't been hard done by them....yet in 29 years. Some cops are straight FOUL, some are OK. That's the way I see it personally.

Anyway this isn't 100% blog about the police. It's about our actions as a people and why we do it.
There is a psychological explanation for every damn thing, isn't there? **Yawn**

Whatever happened to just plain old BAD MIND! [Jamaican term for simply put, bad on purpose].

Black folks are a minority IN CERTAIN COUNTRIES [white people make up 16% of the GLOBAL population. THINK ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU CALL US A MINORITY], but in the US [12-13% population] and UK [2% population] there is a high concentration of black males in the prison system.

Why?

Oh yeah, I forgot *smacks forehead* Police corruption. A majority [98%] are innocent. It's the man's plan to lock us all up. Tyrone and Dae Dae grew up without a father. The school system failed them. No one was around to show you how to 'ack' right. Mama had to work 12 jobs and you had to cook dinner for your little brothers after school when you were 7 years old.

*SCREAMS*

What happened to just being bad mind?

• They wanted to steal. Rob.
• Kill the man because of the 'I wish you would' type syndrome.
• Rape the girl because she turned him down how many times before and would teach her a lesson.
  
• Steal the kids ipod because he wanted fast money for some new trainers so would sell it for cash.
  
• Sell drugs right next to me at the KFC bus stop because he wants fast money and school, exams and work 'ARE A LONG TING!'
  
• Acts BAD MIND because no one will fuck with him and being who he is and what he does will command respect and have people fear him.
  
• And just fight, because well....he wants to fight.
  

Please, like all kids/men act the way they do because daddy wasn't present. What about the criminals that have both parents present and are just as bad in their criminal activities? What's the excuse there because there is none, especially when folks want to get all psychological with their reasons for being a criminal in the first place. I know of someone both parents, no childhood trauma, did a 5 year stretch for armed robbery. I know of another fast and bad mind for money one in the midst of a drug deal that went bad and landed them inside. [I know of these people. They are not in my circle].

What about the TONS of girls who grew up without their fathers? I mean I get so angry [again] at this because they act like black males are the only ones abandoned at birth and are affected the greatest. I know too many black women [myself included] that have never laid eyes on their biological father, or were abandoned at some stage in their lives by him. Funny how a lot of these women still went on to date/marry black men considering their first experience with one was abandonment, yet 50% of UK brothas [yes 50%] date/marry, white/non-black and WERE RAISED, not abandoned, by black women. They [women] just got on with life period even through the absent father, child sex abuse, teen rape, boyfriends who beat them and miscarriages and made something of themselves.

I mean that dating/abandonment statistic/comparison shows a prime example of our past having nothing to do with what we do in the future and having little to no effect on our actions in later life. If it were logical then why aren't there 50% or more of black women dating white/non-black seeing as they were abandoned by a black man at birth, and about 95% of brothas dating/marrying black women as they were raised and influenced by one. Makes no sense because people do what they want to do. Some are attracted to certain people, others by certain lifestyles for no other reason than that and that alone. It's not always about 'textbook' cases.

I'm not even saying this to side with women [just because I am one] but I know more TRAGIC stories about little black girls to women than I do about the brothas and their childhoods. I look at these women and think "Wow, looking at you, you'd never know you've been through all of that and then some, and still made something of yourself." [side note: has every black woman been abused by a family member or something cause this seems to be the bloody norm in our community...that's a whole other blog right there]. I remember reading a thread on the forum I frequent at and the Off Topic discussion was about who had been a member of sexual abuse/rape? My heart bled and wept at the same time. There were a ton of them., it was like a Dr Phil online episode. And no these women didn't go on to be strippers or hookers either as a result. People you have NO IDEA sometimes what women have been through before they are even women and still go on to get those good grades, and strive for a great career.

I know black women are incarcerated too, but let's be real here, the stats have always been and shown it's an issue amongst the men in our community. Why are they using or blaming their upbringing as reason for incarceration where the women I know who have had it worse have made something of themselves. Black men [and this is one of my biggest pet peeves with you all] You do bloody yap on a lot about

"it being so hard for the black man."

Is this is a global mantra? A unified chant amongst the brothas? It's actually very annoying and any man I hear harp on along those lines I distance myself from pretty quickly. I don't need or want to be around people who see or use their race as a reason for not being ahead or where they want to be in life. We can no longer do this in 2009. And yes Obama is a reason. White House occupied by black folks. Black man with a wife who's 'ethnic make-up we didn't have to guess' and two beautiful black children he got the top job with by his side. He wasn't an educated corporate yuppie that when he got successful lost his mind and felt to get accepted needed to marry white, which happens a lot. So top job, with a Nubian family union and still made it. Folks saw the blackness the word over and were NOT intimidated, what's your excuse?

"They don't hire black people?" **blinks 1,000 times a minute** " 'scuse me? Oh I guess it's the 50% white side of Obama that got into office then."

STOP.IT.WITH.YOUR.RUBBISH. And in the words of Dizzie Rascal "Fix up. Look Sharp."

What about the brothas failed by their fathers, families and the school system. The brothas who have been pulled over umpteen times by the police and tired of the racial inequality and discrimination. Even the brothas victims of abuse themselves or witnessed their own mother being beaten. Why have these brothas made something of themselves, and continue to do so?

Kudos to everyone [not just black men] making something out of themselves, continuing to strive and just doing things the HONEST way.

There is no man sitting in a room, drumming up ideas in how to 'bring us down' SO BLACK PEOPLE STOP THE MADNESS and get over yourselves if you really buy into this BS. White people don't care about us enough to sit there scheming about bringing us down in the millions when we know making money is their #1 priority. We are not that important to them. And if the Crack Cocaine Conspiracy were true [it either was or it wasn't] who the hell told us to jump and go sell it or smoke it? If it wasn't crack, those that were screwed up enough to either sell it or smoke it would have found another A List substance to go sell, smoke or inject into the community WITHOUT the CIA's help. Aren't we still selling drugs to our own and smoking it too? Is the CIA STILL to blame? I thought we were a stronger people than that. Funny how we want a scapegoat for our problems but when we are striving black folks did it by themselves.

If you buy into it [the man wanting to bring us down], well TRUST, you deserve to be brought down by the man. You have time to even care. DO YOU! Get a grip and look around there are mainstream media successes as well as behind the scenes, activists, leaders, doctors, lawyers, teachers, ministers, professors, parents. HOLDING DOWN WHO? I've never felt I was plotted against or being held down. Never! And even if I was they didn't lock the shackles tight enough around these wrists and ankles. I do however believe there are those [non-blacks] that don't understand/get us and don't necessarily believe in our great capabilities, and I think at times that is what we are getting misconstrued. Oh I've had a white woman in an investment bank working environment read something to me following her finger along the words like I'm reading Billy Blue Hat in school aged 4. Seriously people there are some non-black folks out there surprised we can read and write to a 10 year old standard. These are the folks that bring out the 'I wish you would' in me.

Seriously NOT every brotha in the system is there because of some deep rooted psychological problem or social issue.

What ever happened to some of them being simply bad mind?

None of these three were born with silver spoons in their mouths. They did work hard enough to go buy a few at Tiffany's though. Oprah's childhood was awful. What is her excuse for being so bloody successful and rich? When I look at hard grafters who never had it good nor easy it makes me less sympathetic to those that use their past as an excuse for their pathetic future.

Oh That Was A Bitch Ass Move Right There!

Here's the scene.

From 2005-2008 girl [me] is casually involved with guy [in Houston]
Guy has crazy ex girlfriend.
Guy ends it with me, proposes to crazy ex.
Guy phones me telling me he's engaged
Me gives guy a cussing via text post conversation.
Me and guy casually involved again after he calls off wedding.
Me February 2008 e-mail guy after last visit severing all ties and notifying him I am ceasing all communication.

**I have only contacted guy once, and blind copied at that on a group e-mail to the folks in Houston making sure everyone was OK following the hurricane**

There have been no phone calls, texts, social networking website messages, picture messages, carrier pigeons, Interflora flowers going on.

I have actually removed his phone numbers, deleted all past e-mails I may have had, thrown any 'guy' associated keepsakes away in the trash. I basically did what most women DO NOT do. I severed ties and removed as many traces of this dickhead as I could.

I keep in touch occasionally with his mother, [twin] brother and friend. Two of his friends are on my MySpace and I never ask how he is, and they never mention him to me.

You get the gist??? Hopefully that sets the scene a little for you.

Now a little something about me: If I'm 'involved' with you whether a friendship or a relationship and it doesn't work out. I have a rule to sever ties. It works for me. I have ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, and in this case ex-pricks in my life that I don't care about and have no place in my life because of a certain amount of negativity that they bring into it. I try to live as peaceful and as positively as possible. Don't bring it to my door. In any capacity.

To a degree I'm also private. I'll tell you what I feel comfortable in you knowing. I don't create drama but if you bring it, I'll be involved until it's flushed out. Ya feel me. Think of it as I never start a fight, throw the first punch and give me a reason to whoop your ass.

Today blog readers of LondonDiva's blog I don't care about you knowing. In fact for those of you that like gossip and a little drama, here it is for you. I CHOOSE to share this with you. I don't CHOOSE to share other elements of my personal life right now, but if I do you'll know about it…within reason of course *wink* So think of me what you may today. Today I'm sharing a part of my life I closed the door to a long time ago. God brought this prick into my life for a reason. I know why even if he doesn't.

Remember…no communication for a year then I wake up at 6:30 am to this on the Blackberry. Blog readers I'd expect this bullshit from a woman hence the 'bitch ass move' title this morning.

" I don't know if you heard or not, but I have gotten engaged. I've been engaged for about a year now. Out of respect to me and my fiancée please don't send any emails or phone calls as it would be inappropriate. I appreciate it."

What does he expect me to say to that? "OK then K****"

*KISSING MY TEETH JAMAICAN AND AFRICAN STYLEE**

Who's caring about this Umpa Loompa and his natty headed fiancé?

**LondonDiva had to scroll up and check the date on this e-mail because this couldn't have been sent of February 19th 2009! Surely not considering no one is contacting his flat ass. Flat not fat…it's not a typo**

My response…get a cup of tea a biscuit whatever.... Fashogi I needed the mutha fucking patron this morning bruh. Myers couldn't calm down a South London black woman at 6:30 am on a Thursday. I've been too fucking polite for too fucking long. The Naomi [my real name] he knew, is long dead and gone. The old one that spoke her mind and didn't care what anyone thought has been back for the longest, he's not familiar with her at all.

"You know me, can't do anything in a paragraph!

I had to check the Blackberry wasn't sending me throwback e-mails from circa 2005 to 2008 or something.

First off I'd appreciate YOU not contacting me by any means. The last time I checked this time last year it was me who had written you a series of e-mails telling you in no capacity I wanted anything to do with you. The only time you were contacted by me was BLIND COPIED on a group e-mail following the hurricane to make sure everyone was OK in Houston. Spare me K****, my name is not C*****, no one [me] is blowing up your phone, running a car through your garage, or calling you at work to get your attention. Your name is not even mentioned on this side of the water. I speak with your mother and e-mail her regularly I don't ask about you and she doesn't mention your name. In fact there is a rule amongst my friends your name is NOT to even be mentioned around me. We are capable of having a relationship to some degree that has nothing to do with you. So me NOT knowing about your engagement should tell you that much. We have bigger and better things to talk about, we have lives and share some of that together when we do communicate. Do you think you are that important that you are and always will be the topic of conversation? You are not.

You should know better. You've contacted me specifically to tell me about an impending engagement before. The first time was dumb on the fuckery level of dumb. This time I really am wondering just WTF medication you are on? It's been a year and you're contacting me for what? My life has moved on tenfold and you're sitting there in Houston close to 10pm e-mailing someone who has not been concerned about you for the longest why? NEVER would I get engaged and e-mail anyone I was ever involved in. NEVER! Certainly not you anyway. I hope you dished out an e-mail to C***** as well, [unless she's the impending wife to be again] because I have no use or need for your silly little 'don't contact me rules' Sweetie ain't nobody contacting you for shit. Stop acting like you are so important to any female you've ever penetrated.

Proof that you really are self involved BEYOND belief and then some. Was that REALLY a 'don't contact me e-mail' or a 'look at how I'm getting on with my life e-mail' or did you read a self help book on getting to the altar and this is task 3.12 on how to wipe the slate clean before you say your vows? **shakes head profusely** No one right here right now cares. AT ALL. Your lame attempt to e-mail me like I've been bombarding you with communication is so fucked up, I'm thinking where is this coming from? Do you think my life has been on pause and yours on fast forward x8 since last year? I told you a few years back and I'll you again Get Over Yourself! But this time multiply it by infinity. Do you need flashcards too?

Just to be clear [as it seems me not talking to you for a year isn't clear enough fo ya. I'm not bothered]
I keep in contact with the following people on occasion, J*****, B****, your mother & N***. V** and D***** are on my MySpace and with none of these people do I enquire about you. NONE. Ask them! I'm a self respecting woman, and when she ends something she ends it, means it and leaves whoever the hell alone. So don't sit there e-mailing me like I've been disrespectful in attempting to contact you or somewhere down the line maybe lusting after your little ass.

Your e-mail addresses and phone numbers have been long gone, along with any keepsakes associated with you [probably in some land fill in India somewhere]. I don't want to see your name in my e-mail inbox EVER AGAIN! Nigga delete my shit with a quickness. Please!

I am not going to lie you hit a raw nerve when I saw your name on my Blackberry and the saw the pathetic content. Equate that feeling to how that off-key, trifling ex of yours carried on. Yes K**** you have reduced me to a level of nothingness when it comes to you. Before today we may have not spoken and I may have had a tiny bit of respect left for you. That has now gone in an instant.

Just to reiterate DON'T CONTACT ME AGAIN BY ANY MEANS! NONE!!! No one here is vying for your attention in any capacity. I don't like, love, care or even respect you K****. Do you get it now? Does it somehow register?

Now leave me the fuck alone just like I have over the past year! You've got some mutha fucking nerve contacting me for some unnecessary bullshit... "

If you're close to me, you know the drama surrounding the involvement of this guy and know that was warranted. I won't EVER apologise for that. EVER!!!

Oh of course bloggers you know my girls got this in their inboxes this morning. I am a woman. You send us bullshit we let the other one know about it. Don't act like you're not surprised.

My beautiful little sister said

"That is a wicked email!!
That was very random of him to even send that - I think that he sent it to a few females, the reason he thought that you should be one of the is beyond me.
it has been over a year - get over yourself - you aren't that hot rude bwoy !! well at least you told him - hopefully he knows better than to reply or he will get cussing number two ."

My friend and fellow blogger said…a few things.

"For some reason even I'm vexed @ that idiot!!"

"you know even I had to go and check if you'd blogged about it already!!You know, I cussed him in my language and u know a sista is made when she goes all traditional on a brother..once more I say 'voertsek' to him (Afrikaans for f-off but it has a stronger effect than f-off)"

"You sure told him!!!!! Ok so this fool after about a year decides to email you to say don't email me?WTF is he on?He must have taken some drugs or maybe not, he didn't take his medication that's why he sending this mess!! You know he's probably one of those guys who sits there thinking hmmm Nai hasn't been in touch lemme tell her how I've moved on because she doesn't seem to ask about him (maybe even his mom told him you don't ask about him) and so this is his pathetic 'masterplan'....IDIOT TING DAT!!!!!"

My 'ride or die chick' friend wrote…

"Got your e-mail and just read it, all I have to say is amen to everything that you just said in your e-mail!!! WTF planet is he on, glad you got that off your chest and let it rip what on earth is wrong with him – I mean really who cares
You go girl now that’s how you tell someone about themselves – lmao what an eediot the audacity"

And another friend said

"omg, I read the first line and I'm spitting fire *goes back to email* IS HE HAVING A F ING LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My other friend called me and left a voicemail. And when I spoke to her this morning she said.

"Does he even realise he's actually the subject of a lot of ridicule?"

No Mrs H I didn't, not until you mentioned it. But this is like a guy dropping his pants and having 6 females point and laugh. I hope this fiancé this time round is black [the last one was a racist Indian, but marrying a black man heffer], because it seems there are a few black women and then some equating this fool of a brotha to a pool of the "we don't deal with your type" fuckery. Maybe that's why he dealt with her. Black women putting up with a manchild like him? I remember him telling me one of his ex's just upped and left. Ummm black women don't just up and leave asshole. You did some shit she probably was tired of. That's why we don't deal with some of your asses anymore. Chance upon chance is given then we've reached boiling point and it's time to hit the bricks, put the pedal to the metal and move onto the next decent, loving, respectful brotha. Yes, we know you're out there and we love you for it. But today is bash this one black man day.

My co-worker was killing herself laughing at my e-mail and male colleagues were shaking their heads and laughing too, thinking what self-respecting man sends a woman that, and actually agreed it was a bitch ass move. I obviously cannot respect him at all, I mean to the point where I'm showing this to folks for entertainment value and laughing right along with them tells you something about my level [scratch that] lack of feeling I have for this jumped up excuse for a man. Whereas before with an ex in front of folks I'd always big them up and just say it didn't work out but so and so was a good person, and to this day give genuine props to my long-term ex because he is a good man [not this prick I'm blogging about]. It's not always about being scorned and bitter when you part ways.

Oh don't get it twisted now folks. It's not revenge at all. I haven't named names, or even posted a picture. I'm not even gonna put him and his idiot self on blast to THAT degree, and I'm sure he sure as hell doesn't read my blog. And if he did **shrug** don't care in the slightest.

Not once, but twice. Fucking prick! E-mail me again and see if I don't play my trump card the next time around. I've kept my cards too close to my chest for too long. If I have to speak again to you, upon what you hear from my last [and hopefully final] e-mail, you'll definitely wish you'd never met me let alone contacted me. I'm not evil or vindictive, but never give someone reason to be.

As the Jamaican saying goes.
Those who do not hear, must feel

I am NOT the one bruh, I am NOT the one!

Comment Spinoff: Brotherly Love

It's 2:30 am back on the GMT time clock and I guess suffering a little jet-lag, so hopefully won't go into blog overdrive like I usually do.  I say that now, then you've tabbed down 5 times and I'm still talking about the same topic.

On my I Just Don't Get It - Idris Elba blog a few weeks back I listed some men I found fine and unattractive, which led me to write about this particular topic that has been on my mind for a while.

Unattractive: Idris Elba, Denzel Washington, Tyrese and Andre 3000

Fine: Common, Will Smith, Paul Walker

One of the comments were:

"Is it a coincidence that all of the dark-skinned brothas got the thumbs down in this post (e.g., Idris, Andre 3000, Denzel & Tyrese)"

You know something, I knew someone would point that out. Refer to the shade of black with regard to the men that I listed as unattractive. And case in point, the dark skinned sensitivity rises to the surface amongst us as usual. Let me start by saying this 'Just' please don't see this as a personal attack, this is merely my honest and frank opinion about the subject matter overall.

My reason for listing Idris, Denzel and Andre 3000 were simply because of these three men a LOT of black women go gaga over them and I personally find them unattractive, they just happen to be darker, chocolate or whatever you want to call them. Idris, Denzel and Andre are not fine to me simply because they are not fine. Them being light wouldn't have made them any more attractive to me. The blog had nothing to do with colour, and was about the popular men who a lot of black women love, which TO ME were unattractive. 

I am a woman who finds men of all races fine, just as I find men of all races unattractive. From Paul Walker [white], to Russell Wong [Asian], to Morris Chestnut [black] these men make me weak at the knees, but you better believe that there are a ton of white, Asian and black men that make me want to take a shower and scrub the hell out of myself. [The men pictured are some of the brothas of all complexions from mixed to dark who make me swoon].

I'll never rep for a brotha, just because they are a brotha or because a bunch of women follow with the masses. I am a realist, I'm not down with being down for the sake of it just because we share the same heritage. But there is something along the colour lines in our race that has been bugging the hell out of me for quite a while...speaking about your 'black preference in men/women and how you do it.'

Now I'm sure the women mean no harm, but for me I like to see it from all sides [men and women] and I do.  Let's not beat around the bush here, lighter black women in our community are favoured by the brothas, and darker brothas are favoured by the sistahs. If you disagree then I'm sorry you're wrong and need to go back to hibernating, it's been this way for a long while. It's not EVERY person, but a general viewpoint amongst the black community. Of course you'll find black men who love darker women and black women who love lighter men, but these days that is a rarity. I look around at couples A LOT in London and in the US when I'm there. To be honest in London the only group that sticks out to me that have no problem marrying/dating dark, where both are dark are Africans. That's just my observation.

So I hear this [from black women] often

"Oooh I love me some chocolate."

"I prefer chocolate."

"I'd never date a light skinned guy."

"Light skinned men just don't do it for me."

"I'm only down with the chocolate."

These are the same women who would come down on brothas like a ton of bricks if they were to say they don't date dark skinned sistahs, prefer light skinned women, or that chocolate sistahs just don't do it for them. They'd be accused of being self hating bastards. 

SO IT SEEMS [and this is from my observation] It's OK and acceptable for sistahs to be vocal in representing for the skin shade choice in a man as long as you're repping for the darker shade. Anyone with a preference for light [YET STILL BLACK] has issues. That's the vibe I get. 

Black women seem to have a thing for 'chocolate' men period. I don't. I have a thing for fine men [men that are fine to me] across the board. I refuse to limit myself in what I find attractive or put a cap on it, because that's when you'll hear the bullshit come out about "he's cute for a light/white guy" CHA! If he's cute, he's cute WTF am I prefacing it for? To seem down, grounded or 100% confident in my blackness by loving black men through and through? If Paul Walker were to come my way with his blue eyed blond haired self he'd get a date, as would Morris Chestnut...of course if neither were attached and asked me out that is.  **cough cough**

I personally am sick of it to hear things like "well I don't usually go for light men, but that Common is fine as hell." That to me is the same thing as that infamous line a lot of dark women hear "she's pretty for a dark skinned girl" like dark skinned women can't just be pretty period and that only light skinned/mixed women are. Have you seen Rain Pryor, she's mixed and NOT cute. Proves that right there.

Black is black is black to me. Whether you're fair or mixed like Faith Evans and Alicia Keys to darker like Fantasia or Alek Wek, and because of this 'craze' of repping for everything dark over the recent years it seems that people are forgetting that making derogatory comments with regard to lighter skinned blacks are just as hurtful and harmful as making them toward dark skinned blacks. I'm sorry to me it's just as bad. They are still black. Not everything is perfect in 'light skinned world' either, they too have not always had it easy in the black community from blacks not just the darker hued blacks. Light skinned girls beaten up at school just because she was light and hated on by other girls thinking she was cute. It goes on and on on both sides, which is why you'll never find me repping hard for one or the other.  Maybe I'm just 'we are the world' and 'kum ba yah' ish but Alicia Keys is just as much a sistah to me as Alek Wek. Of course I see light and dark but I see black first.

Have I been mad at brothas going for lighter black women in the past. The hell I have. Notice I said the past. I'm nearing 30 but still growing and my attitudes change on a daily basis, and I can admit my ways of thinking with regard to light/dark in our community have steadfastly changed from being somewhat ignorant to more open and compassionate.

My friend prefers chocolate men [she herself is chocolate complected/darker], and she's been vocal in her preference. I KNOW FOR A FACT if she were to hear a brotha say in her presence he prefers lighter black women she'd be pissed as hell...but she'd have NO right to be. None whatsoever. You yourself can't eliminate a whole complexion/shade of the race, but get mad when 'he' does it. Sit down, shut the fuck up or just keep on stepping. I'm not light skinned myself but I'm tired of people looking like they smelt something bad if you mention a famous light skinned man as being cute and coming out with things like "he's too light" but if I was to say such and such is too dark, all hell would break loose. Double standards.

Like who you like is all I say and make no apologies for it. I don't know when darker blacks became the voice amongst the community that if you didn't prefer them as your choice YOU yourself have an issue. Some blacks prefer light...fair enough. Some blacks prefer dark...fair enough. It's amazing how even though you're still dating/marrying light [yet black] you still have issues, yet the ones who date/marry dark don't.

So to make it clear. When I hear darker skinned blacks put down in any way it pisses me off. When I hear lighter skinned blacks put down in any way it also pisses me off.

We always gotta start some shit!