18 Feb 2009

God's Will. God's Hands.

I've been sitting here [at work] when I should be actually putting the key in the front door to get on and start clearing out all the crap and doing a spring clean. I'll get onto it later and probably listen to my Law of Attraction Podcasts and check out Joyce Meyer. Thanks Hay! X

Well in a nutshell, we've moved departments. The 3 of us [1 permanent member of staff and 2 contractors] one of the contractors being me, have a new boss. So I leave something on his desk to check last night and he says he's going off to interview someone with the other big boss.

So about an hour ago I ask him [blatantly like a black woman does] "so does that mean one of us are gonna be bumped to fill in this spot for the next person?" I don't mess about. If I want to know I'll ask.

He looked hesitant and said yes.

**LondonDiva VEX inside**

I've blogged about this before peeps, and as much as I'm prepared it still vexes me.

You want to interview all these candidates and you haven't even offered a perm position to one of the two sitting here? Why hire an unemployed person to make one of the 2 sitting here unemployed. If they want to go through the rigmarole of training someone then by all means.

The vex feeling in my stomach is wavering now. You know why? I give advice to people all the live long day. And I need to take my own advice. Sometimes I do. Sometimes it takes a little longer to kick in that I need to.

Before I leave this desk this evening I don't want to be going home vex and all "It's me. It's gonna be me. Yeah they're gonna get rid of the black woman over the white guy." But I'm not going to assume my job is safe either.

Now is a TOUGH climate to be unemployed in. But I need to remember and look back on all of the difficult times I've faced over the years and remember that God has never failed me. Never! If I was the one to go, well I look at it like this, room for a bigger and better opportunity from the man upstairs. It could even be his way of kicking my butt in a direction I should have taken years ago.

The Universe and God combined work harmoniously to give me what I want, when I NEED it. That I need to remember. I have one thing over my co-workers here faith and hope. I've been there with a ton of money in the bank I've been there with an overdraft and down to a borrowed £10 that I made last me the week the day I got a call getting the job at Merrill Lynch and Itsu [which I took in the evenings after Merrill Lynch] I didn't need the Itsu job but I was doubly blessed and worked two jobs. During those desperate times I never panicked, because I always said, God will provide for me! And he did, and he has.

For me to worry right now, today, lacks faith. Without faith there is no works. So come what may, certain decisions, the people that come into my life, the jobs I have, and the people I meet on my travels are for a reason, season or a lifetime. All serve a purpose at some point. Maybe I'm here for a few more months, maybe I'm not. But the next step will be bigger and better, that I definitely know.

So I'm going to remain FAITHFUL and not fearful.

Shoot, I may even pull out that Australia contact and see what the market is like there. Funny I picked up the Australia magazine last night and was having a flick through it for no reason, maybe there was a deeper reason behind it after all.

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