"Simple Simon!" This New Format Is Too Complicated!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I do not apologise for my love of reality TV. Whether it be ghetto trash like Flavor of Love or Charm School to American Idol or The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I'd rather watch pre-conceived reality scripts over soap operas any day.

Rewind to last Saturday 7pm ITV1, I was soooooo excited to see the return of X Factor, and about 30 minutes into it, I couldn't escape faster from my TV set.

They have...no scratch that, SIMON COWELL has gone and screwed up a brilliant format...how? By simply having the audience be a part of the best bit of 4 months of Saturday night viewing. I don't need to hear the audience booing or cheering. I don't want to see backstage shots of these nobodies taking to the stage and performing to a backing track. It's pure and utter crap and I DON'T LIKE IT. Am I the only one in agreement who thought, Louis, Dannii, Cheryl and Simon in a room of pure silence with a crap audition was pure comedy? Even at home in your living room you felt the tension right along with them and just the expressions of the 4 judges were enough alone to make you piss your pants. Now it's like watching it with 20,000 other people giggling over the parts you want to be hearing in silence.

X Factor: New format. Hate it. I didn't laugh once, and I read that in the 90 minute show only 7 auditions were shown.

Simon I think you're smelling yourself a little mate.

Now onto X Factor rant #2. Danyl The prick with an even more jumped up spelt name than himself. Some of you loved him. Some of you hated him. Well whilst I was eating my 10p Tesco Value Noodles he put me right off. Sorry sweetheart, with your racially ambiguous self you weren't that cute. Simon seems to like the mixed contestants. This dude can sing an old Joe Cocker song and Simon's veneers are all a gleaming. When the brotha came out singing a classic before him, Simon gave him hell and asked him for something more current before allowing him through. I've peeped Simon do this a lot on X Factor and American Idol. I don't think he likes the black singers too much, talented or not, he always has something derogatory to say regarding their song choice or they 'sang it with too much soul/sounded like they were in a gospel choir' Whatever Simon. We all know for you that marketing black artists is a hard task for you as opposed to the white/mixed contestants. I've watched enough seasons of talent shows where Simon is a judge to notice this trait. He's not fooling me.

Back onto Danyl. Arrogant twat. Sorry, I was not moved. So what you can sing. I always say this, 99.9% of the people that make it through onto X Factor wouldn't even get past the audition stage on American Idol. Maybe I've been spoiled by the talent that I've seen on Idol and when it comes to watching the UK counterparts I don't care for any of them. This year past, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert were killing it each and every week. Down to earth guys with killer voices. They knew they were hella talented yet remained humble throughout. This Danyl comes out with a Joe Cocker song, moves the mic back and forth from each hand 3 times and the audience starts screaming like he did a Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas one handed cartwheel whilst singing. So Danyal you sat on the stage pointed, winked and sung to the ladies. Am I missing something here? I was not impressed. And everybody was WOW WOW WOW. Now to me that was mediocre.

Now word on the street is he's the new 'Susan Boyle' and some US talk show wants to interview him as he's had nearly a million hits on You Tube. **ROLLS EYES**

Does anyone remember the black guy who was friends with Danny Gokey on Idol and didn't make it to the finals, he had a bit of a Pharell vibe/look to him?? Well that guy could sing rings around Danyl and where was the hype and the fuss? There is none because raw talent seems to be a plenty stateside. Now had he been a UK contestant and sung the same way, there would have been a frenzy.

I AM EMBARRASSED that Danyl and the likes of Susan Boyle garner so much interest especially in America of their average performances. And please tell me why when someone can sing to a decent standard in the UK the whole country goes crazy?

Leona ain't no damn Mariah, shoot she's not even a Jordin Sparks and Jordin can sang...yes sang...I watched that girls every performance and she can blow. Shoot she (Leona) is not even a Jennifer Hudson or Fantasia. Alexandra ain't no Beyonce and as much as I rooted for her last year and like the girl, listening back to her performance with Bey is a lil painful to hear now. She's good but she's not great.

Now I'm watching the audition back, and dudes vocals aren't all that. I bet I could sound great lifting my leg up, arms flailing to make a somewhat decent vocal appear amazing.

I AM NOT CONVINCED.

THAT does not warrant a US TV appearance. Americans if you see him, turn the channel. PLEASE!

And what kills me is this...1 show and he's already the winner...? Siddown UK, Siddown!! All of the Susan Boyle hype and some street dancers beat her. I hope history repeats itself. I'd much prefer Austin Drage come back from last year and make it through. Man was I pissed when I cam back from holiday and he was gone. Pure kiss teet a gwan!!!

And for the ladies that love him, want him, need him, he swings both ways and is an open bisexual. But hey, at least he isn't on the DL. Right?

And let's stop with the overuse of this damn word amazing, and reserve it for artists who truly are. Maybe now being 30 and have a lil old skool years behind me I can say x,y and z were truly amazing at their craft. No Danyl was not amazing to me, it was not 25th Anniversary Grammy Billie jean performance that will stand the test of time. Michael Jackson was amazing, Prince is amazing, Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Patti LaBelle, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey vocally and as performers. One dry head man performs a Joe Cocker song and now the dude is amazing. NO. HE. IS. NOT. If he's amazing, I am legendary.

What do you think of his performance? You can see it here

All That Buckley Hype & Not Even Close

Single sales in 1 week

1 ALEXANDRA BURKE 576,046

2 JEFF BUCKLEY 80,883

3 LEONA LEWIS 72,417

Can the Buckley FANatics please now give it up gracefully, and let the new Queen reign supreme for the Christmas period.

Hallelujah. Alexandra Burke vs. Jeff Buckley

I am just about sick of this nonsense I really am. Read here. I think I've harped on enough about Alexandra Burke and her glorious win from last Saturday's X Factor but this week is simply taking the piss.

I've mentioned before that I don't read the news anymore so I can't even begin to tell you what today's headline is all about. I was on Itunes last night and see that Alexandra and Jeff Buckley are #1 & 2 with the same song and thought "What the hell." I then check Alexandra's fan page on Facebook and you have the typical squabble about whose version is better. Then dig a little deeper and find that there are some Jeff Buckley fanatics taking it to a whole 'nother level pushing to get this song to #1 this weekend. The X Factor finalists covered Hero [badly] this year for charity by my fave gal Mariah Carey, but you weren't about to see me downloading in protest when already being a TRUE fan I already have the song probably 8 times over since 1993. So what's the point? Mariah doesn't care about #1's and Jeff Buckley can't because he's dead. Isn't the love and support for your artist enough without all this campaigning? If you have to campaign then what is that saying about the TRUE talent and appreciation of your musical idol? And to be honest I think the style and class of Buckley's music wouldn't even want to be as mainstream as it is right now. There are some musical artists who serve better wavering between popularity and underground. You know the ones, don't need a lot of hype, chart positions or press but can always sell out a world tour with just a strong following alone. Katie Melua, K.D. Lang [who has also covered this song famously], Tracy Chapman etc comes to mind on writing this.

This song has been covered around 300+ times according to Wikipedia. It was covered on American Idol before the X Factor so this isn't the first time this song has been endorsed by Simon Cowell. I don't really know what Jeff Buckley enthusiasts were so up in arms about so I decided to hear this 'wonderful, amazing' cover of Buckley on You Tube, then [even though I'd already heard Alex's version] listened to hers again straight afterwards with a very OPEN mind.

I am not just saying this for effect or to be funny, but I was sitting at my computer and nodded off to sleep listening to Jeff's version, AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I DID! I couldn't sit through that to the end. It made me want to kill myself. I guess this is what those folks mean when they say it's 'haunting' [black speak for dry and boring]. I listened to Alexandra's and was actually stirred by some kind of emotion.

As a black woman this isn't even about a black woman versus a white man and favouring her because we are black. Austin Drage was my top choice but got booted in week 4, and on top of that I listen to a LOT of music across the board so my viewpoint is hardly biased toward the soulful tones of Alexandra. Nickelback, Guns N Roses, Chris Cornell, James Morrison, Gavin DeGraw, Linkin Park and Evanesence to name a few are on heavy rotation in my house and ears. As is R&B, a little Hip-Hop, dancehall and soca. And when it comes to classical for me it's Vanessa Mae. A serious 'mix & blend' of music so I can appreciate the 'alternative' sound of Jeff Buckley and am open to listening to his genre of music.

But let's keep it real…

That version of Hallelujah was pure and utter shit. I don't care if Alexandra was a busker on the London Underground, or had a 20 year music career without the aid of a reality TV show, hers is better.

This is synonymous with 'classics' and the fanfare surrounding them just BECAUSE there is a fanfare. I mean you hear of movies like Wall Street and The Godfather being hailed as great movies and every person that watches it thereafter thinks it's the best thing ever created just because EVERYBODY is saying it. The Godfather didn't pique my interest. I thought Wall Street was boring and haven't even gotten to the end of Scarface yet. I WILL however watch the Godfather again and make it to the end of Scarface [maybe I'll do that this weekend], but from what I saw unimpressed. I also think the Beatles were shit and think nothing much of the legendary Paul McCartney. Can't sing to save his life and is straight up boring. Give me Sir Elton John and George Michael any day. Yes Sir Paul maybe a great songwriter, then do like Dianne Warren and David Foster and pen the hits for other artists and keep your vocally challenged ass quiet. I don't jump on bandwagons. I'm not about to say it was legendary just because 15 million other people are saying the same thing JUST to look and sound cool. Challenge somebody next time they harp on about some crap war film being 'amazing' and watch them stutter like bitches trying to come up with a free flowing answer. Most times they can't because they've never thought to as why they like it, they've just gone with the crowd because no one wants to be the oddball who has no problem being vocal about their dislike for something so popular.

Jeff Buckley has a cult of what seems a lot of people clambering onto a bandwagon of his music. I had NEVER heard of him until this week and then all of a sudden his loyal fans are only NOW buying his 14 year old Leonard Cohen cover version? If you're so diehard why don't you have it already? It's like, if you don't like Jeff's version or you say anything remotely negative about it, then your seriously NOT COOL to prefer the version of a reality TV show winner.

It's not Alexandra's fault, she has no control over her career whatsoever at this point and probably won't ever for a very long time. She sung it in her own personal way the same way JLS did and Eoghan would have done if they'd have won. Is this backlash aimed at Alexandra, The X Factor, Simon Cowell himself as a money hungry mogul, or all three? See this is why I love Simon, the man knows how to make his money and doesn't apologise for it along the way, a shrewd hustler, I like that. Nothing wrong with what he's done at all. I'm slightly familiar with the song Hallelujah, and down to him he has exposed Leonard Cohen and Jeff Buckley to a new audience who may have never been particularly interested in the song or the music of these two artists. It was down to American Idol that I discovered Gavin DeGraw and fell in love with his music and sound that's not that big in the UK as he is in the US. These shows have a lot of influence, more than they are being given credit for.

What Jeff Buckley fanatics fail to realise is this:

The song is NOT his. His estate will earn no money from the re-release of it on such a huge scale.

The song is written by Leonard Cohen who is estimated to pocket over £1,000,000 in royalties alone from the sale of Alexandra's single and now the sales of Buckley's version.

Leonard Cohen is NOT dead. There was some dumbass talking about Leonard must be turning in his grave on a forum. Double dumbass!!

Buckley's version and Alexandra's version are released under Columbia/Sony BMG. Simon Cowell's company SyCo Records is signed under Columbia/Sony BMG. So the Cowell and Burke 'hater's are all a big happy family under the Sony umbrella. Sony is having the last laugh, or could it be Simon Cowell having the last laugh and with a great scheme of choosing this song KNOWING the sales of Buckley's version rocketed in the US after being featured on American Idol and made Hallelujah the song choice in the UK. Seems like the Buckley fanatics got shafted with a massive rod and made to look fools of and are nothing more than pawns in an industry game of making money. Gwannnnnnn Simon & Sony!!! [But only in this instance though, we all know record labels are shady].

This song has been covered anywhere between 100-300 times. So why they are pissy about Alexandra's version I don't know. She can sing it and interpret her own version just like Jeff did, of his own accord. She injected soul. He droned on the record and put me to sleep.

A dead horse is being flogged, Alexandra received 8 million votes [2 of those mine] in the final and has been sold out in record stores and the fastest selling download in Europe ever. Be happy with a #2 slot in the charts this week. Sony are even happier.

Jeff Buckley's version was awful and borderline suicidal. I don't know what talent he possessed.

The other great version of this song was in Shrek. Yes Shrek. Not Jeff Buckley's version. I'll say it again...Shrek by Rufus Wainwright. I will get my hands on that version tonight!!!

The song has nothing to do with religion but rumoured to be about Hallelujah being synonymous with the orgasm. Alexandra is obviously happy with her climaxes from the way she sung it. Those poor women that had the misfortune of sleeping with Buckley. So what 'feeling' did he invoke in this dreary version that was remotely orgasmic I'd like to know?

This is in no way a disrespect to Jeff as an artist, but merely on the cover of this song. I cannot and will not comment on his whole works as I haven't listened to them, and probably won't because that song has put me right off wanting to find out anything further about his music.

BUT a mandatory positive on his version of Hallelujah, if I ever have trouble falling asleep I will play the You Tube version to send me off quicker. That mess cannot occupy my ipod. I just hope it doesn't shut my computer down if it does get played on it again.

Everybody has a right to their opinion and I guess I just had mine.

Leonard Cohen


Alexandra Burke


Jeff Buckley

Alexandra To Be Bigger Than Leona???

The X Factor winner Alexandra Burke's first single, a version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, is the fastest-selling download ever across Europe despite only being available since yesterday.
Burke's single has sold more than 105,000 copies since going on sale at midnight on Saturday, fewer than two hours after she won the fifth series of the ITV1 reality show. HMV is already predicting that she has the Christmas No 1 "all wrapped up".

The hefty download sale has already put Burke at the top of internet sales charts, including iTunes and HMV.com, with the CD version of the single not out until Wednesday.
Burke's sale eclipsed the previous fastest download of 82,000 in one day — the previous X Factor winner Leona Lewis's debut release, A Moment Like This, two years ago.

I was one of those 105,000 to download the song legally I may add from Itunes this weekend. Well Leona was SERIOUS hype 2 years ago and not so much about Alexandra. I remember even Clive Davis was interested in Leona before she even won. Alexandra hasn't garnered that interest this time around and look at that out-selling Leona by thousands.

I haven't been this excited for a new artist since 1990....yes I'm talking about Mariah.

It comes as Simon Cowell vowed to turn Alexandra into a bigger star than Leona, telling friends that this year's X Factor winner is 'more versatile'.

Alexandra has outsold Leona Lewis. He is already talking to the industry's most acclaimed writers and producers to find the right songs for his new protégé.

I hope you keep to your word Mr Cowell. I expect great things from Alexandra Burke...AND SHE HAS A PERSONALITY TOO!!! Thank the Lord!

From Presidents To Pop Stars

Two things I PERSONALLY never thought I'd see…A black president and a black winner on X Factor. OK to some X Factor isn't all that deep and the accomplishments between president to pop star are not comparable [of course not], but both in my opinion are indeed sweet. I've always said a black person could never win a reality TV show [especially where a majority of the voters were white in this country]. I wasn't even looking at it from a point of view that Alex should win because she's black, she was one of the best in the competition and won rightfully so, after being booted three years ago she came back and won her place.

The UK and US are similar in some instances with how some are viewed as people of colour in their respective countries. After Obama, people are saying well there's hope for a black Prime Minister in the UK. A lot of black people here realistically DO NOT think so. It's a different kind of being black in the UK than it is in the US and the racism in the UK and Europe are on a different level. I mean over there I'm still in awe that in magazines black women are in Tampax, Dove and Tide adverts and that black people actually feature in TV commercials. **GASP** So I am very surprised that a chocolate beauty like Alexandra won the show considering black women in the British music industry practically do not exist and the closest thing favoured is your mixed race Leona types. Estelle is the only one I can think of doing something in the industry right now and mainstream. Beverly Knight and Jamelia were dropped from their labels, and they seem to favour the ones who can pass like mixed race beauties Alesha Dixon and Leona Lewis more euro looking and more marketable.

All I hope and pray for is that Simon Cowell invests as much time and attention as he did with his Mariahesque Brit clone Leona by carting her off to the US to work with Neyo and get her on Oprah as he will with Alexandra. Alexandra is just as good if not just a tad bit better than Leona and deserves just as much time and attention from his camp. The build-up with Leona was insane. I hope Alexandra doesn't become like her fellow and yes I'll say it darker cohorts Beverly and Jamelia who were dropped because the crossover into mainstream wasn't fluid enough. I hope it doesn't become a situation where she'll have to venture solely on the black music scene just to make it. It shouldn't have to be that way especially if you have the talent. Don't get me wrong I'll class Leona as a sista, she may look fairer than say Halle and Alicia Keys whom we have no trouble labelling and accepting as black, who has the same white mother/black father that Leona has so it's no different to me.

I'm not saying in 2008 victories by Usian Bolt, Lewis Hamilton, President Elect Barack Obama and Alexandra Burke that the world is going to change, and that we are going to be welcomed with open arms. I for one don't want that I just want more tolerance and less discrimination. It's just nice that across the board we're branching out and being recognised and appreciated as a people from the islands to the US to the UK that as much as it's a huge boost for black people and people can see a more positive side instead of the typical negative images surrounding blacks. Of course there is a very long way to go and realistically I don't think things will change much. I don't care that we've got another pop star to add to the current list of black vocalists [and I mean that in the sense that it's not a case of 'oh lord another black singer. Is that all we can so sports and sing?'], I think all achievements should be welcomed and praised. I feel it's much better to have another one of us at the top of the charts that at the top of nearly every negative statistic known to man.

X Factor: Congratulations Alexandra

Finally a talented and genuine person has won this year. Loved the duet with Beyoncé, loved every performance from Alexandra this year. We have no real black British vocal artists who are mainstream in this country. Beverly Knight...dropped. Jamelia...dropped. Right now I'm not even talking about Aleshia Dixon or Leona Lewis [mixed race artists] I'm talking chocolate brown sistas making their mark on the charts. The only one we have is Estelle, and that's just not good enough.