20 Feb 2009

Another Lesson Learned

Listening to Joyce Meyer is now my new addiction. I just can't get enough. Never have I been into the church type thing or the preacher thing, but there's something different about Joyce. She tells it like it is, honestly and with humour. [Ooooh a bit like me…hehehehehe] She's been through her fair share of woes and troubles in her life and since listening to her over the past three days I know she has come right on time.

My friend Hayley kept mentioning that she was going to go and listen to Joyce Meyer and there I was thinking she was some Neo-Soul singer [I don't care for Neo-Soul at all] but when I asked and she told me who she was and that she has free podcasts on iTunes the first thing I did on Tuesday was download the daily 90 second, 15 minute and 30 minute podcasts as soon as I got home. OH MY GOODNESS!! The evening after writing the God's Will, God's Hands blog was the first day I listened to what she had to say. The 18th February 28 minute podcast changed my life. It was about worry and anxiety [I have listened to it three times already!!], something typical Cancerians do all of the time. I can't go into everything Joyce said, if you really want to know then you'll go on her site and listen, but she spoke the truth, I was nodding, in agreement, doing my amens all over the house. Sister girl was telling it like it was supposed to be told! With none of this uppity, I'm better than you Christian mentality crap. Joyce even tells us to even be wary of church folks and their church faces too because there are plenty of nutcases in the church as well, so don't let that fool you. Joyce is as black as they come [in white body]. And she's southern [St Louis]. You know I have a soft spot for US Southerners.

Now you read my blog, you can see for yourself I'm a straight talking sista with a foul mouth on her. I curse, I have bad thoughts, can't nobody [bad grammar] tell me anything [bad] about me that I didn't already know. [Remember that scene in 8 Mile when Rabbit takes the Mic and talks about every bad thing about himself bringing it to light so the other MC hasn't got a damn thing to comeback at him at because it just can't hurt or effect him? Well that's my mentality about myself] No one could ever stand up in my face and cuss me about x, y and z and try to reduce me to tears. Never! Water off a ducks back…I digress though...My flaws I'm working on through God in private. I take my own notes on my own behaviour, I got this….aiiiight!!

Look at the turn of events. From the God's Will, God's Hands blog came the Oh That Was A Bitch Ass Move Right There Blog the very next day. You see I listened to Joyce this morning and she was talking about when you're on your way to do God's work or to listen to God's word something bad always happens. OH HELL YES!!! That was part of my frustration yesterday. A HUGE part of it. After my godson passed my relationship with God was pretty much null and void around the same time I was also dealing with that fool in Houston. Fool gets kicked to the curb, don't want anything negative in my life or hindering my happiness in it!! GET OUT!! BE GONE!! STAY AWAY!! I didn't need to heal from my involvement with him. I was instantly at peace this time around as soon as I said "Bye!" It was coming to terms with losing a 9 week old godchild that I needed help on, which then in turn opened my eyes to looking at and loving life differently and making the most of it. So now can you see why his self absorbed self made me cuss the way I did? A year on no one was thinking about him. He was deleted and pretty much dead to me, how dare he try and worm his way in my life even if only over a few lines over an e-mail acting like anyone in the United Kingdom gives a shit about him! The day before that bastard e-mails me, was the night before I laid my head down to sleep I was feeling at peace, actually looking forward to waking up in the morning to start my day listening to the sassy southern preacher Joyce Meyer on iTunes whilst getting ready for work, and instead I'm cussing pure raas in an e-mail to him.

The devil got my black ass. And he got me good.

Back to what Joyce said "when you're on your way to do God's work or to listen to God's word something bad always happens." Whether you get into an argument, the car breaks down…always something. I didn't think so quickly would I be tested not in less than 24 hours. She said the devil uses the thing that will get to you THE MOST that will get you THE MOST UPSET and knock you off balance on your attempt to walk a straight path. His name was K****! Like I stated to you all yesterday. No contact for a year. I thought and HOPED TO HIGH HEAVEN never to hear his name in any capacity infiltrate my being in any way, and bam there it was with his foolishness right there on my Blackberry at 3:39am. GET OUT!! BE GONE!! STAY AWAY!! He needed to be T.O.L.D. I had to resort to a day filled with straight anger and cussing to make it clear to this cretin to CEASE AND DESIST FOR GOOD! No 'hello', 'hey', 'what's up'…. nigga get gone! After my 14 hours of incandescent rage at the gaul and temerity of contacting me, a self sufficient woman moving on very swiftly with her life, I managed to see through the red and see this for exactly what it was. I was being tested. Plain and simple. Tested beyond belief in so many ways, my temperament, my self control, my ability to not cuss so much. Ooooooh chile!! All of that went out of the window. Me and God may have to agree to disagree on this one but I felt my response yesterday was justified. Some people need to get the message, but I will pray with all my might God keeps that fool away from me, before he works on my temperament, before I cut somebody, namely him. And leads his black ass in the direction of a therapist because that boy child has I.S.S.U.E.S he thinks can be solved with new pussy and a cheap ass engagement ring.

When you get tested with the very thing you despise or in some cases don't despise, and you steer toward that anger and venom inside you, you are distracted and thrown off the path that God intended for you. I could have easily prayed yesterday morning and asked God to bless me, keep me calm and somehow send a message to that nucca someway somehow, Naomi cares nothing for you to even be contacting me. Joyce said WE CAN CHOOSE how we act and feel. We have our many 'faces'. In the midst of an 'episode' if someone important was in your presence see how quickly that 'episode' would dissipate. Oh I could rant on at my desk about if my mother or a friend ticked me off [and one has since writing this **SIGH**], but you better believe if my boss came to me, that mood would change. Joyce tells it to you in a way I've never heard it before. Real and uncomplicated. Oh I could rave on about Joyce all day, I really could. She reminds me of a straight talking black grandmother [only white]. For the past three days listening to her has been a help and a huge influence in my life, now I can't imagine a day not listening to her.

Reason, season or lifetime. I have a few friends I've never met in my life. NEVER! I've known a couple for over a decade from online forums/message boards, we've spoken on the phone, e-mailed and are classed in the friend category enough to even be on Facebook. The few I have met I've travelled to see them and they've travelled to London to see me [not fellas here folks aiight!] **smile** You don't have to have met someone to class them as a friend. You can still learn from, grow and inspire one another through constant communication. I have one friend and I'm gonna put her on blast. In a good way of course, who is an absolute sweetheart, we talk about all kinds of stuff from relationships to God, she vents I vent. But I just wanted to publicly say Thank You HAYLEY for introducing me to Joyce Meyer. You have NO IDEA how this has changed my life and way of thinking already. The same way you feel Joyce has brought you closer to God, well if it wasn't for you being 'on time' just by mentioning it, well it wouldn't have brought me feeling closer to God, and I haven't in a long time especially since Roman died. So thanks Hay!!! xxx


  1. I just stumbled across you blog in the "how to apply perm" section. I just wanted to bring back memories how to perm my own hair again so I googled it up and found it on your fotki site.

    Anyways, AMEN! to this post. Girl, the devil had my a$$ down the block around the corner, circling the globe and back home. I've been there done that and still praise the Lord because he helped me escape all that mess. Come to think of it, I should write a book! Lol.

    I love, love, LOVE Joyce Meyers. I remember watching her with my mother. I wuld laugh here and there (she's very funny omg) and listen attentively. But I would STILL go about my business. Last year, life went haywire after I got married. Not between my husband and I but between me and everyone else. I prayed and prayed, cried and cried til I went to sleep. I went through A LOT and my life totally did a 360 omg. If I had stills, if I just stepped back and glance at the photos of my life in an album, Lord have mercy I dont know! I am the poster child for all his miracles.

    I am very blessed. Very blessed to be a mother and a wife. Very bless to have a job with a stable home. Very blessed to have a friend a BEST friend which I've known for, my God, a decade!

    Okay so I am done rambling lol. I've saved this blog. :o)

  2. uve just inspired me to start listening to her...... i need some encouragement

  3. Stephanie. I'm really glad that everything worked out for you and you are able to realise and count your many blessings.

    Funms glad to be of some help that Hayley was to me. If you listen to her, let me know how you like it.

  4. Im nervous to say, bur i have water in my eye!!;0) lol

    U mirrored my words Nai, i feel blessed to still have you in my life, i truly do.

    Nai you are a wonderful, im so glad that you can appreciate Joyce, the way i do.
    Its so funny that you said that you are like her, because i thought that before I mentioned u to her.
    Honest, straight up and way too funny!!
    LMao @ Neo soul artist...(i cant take u)..lol

    I hope she continues to keep you closer to God as she did with me. Thnx for being a true friend.



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