Anna Jarvis Needs An Ass Whoopin!

Well she can't get an ass whoopin, cause she died in 1948. But she is the force behind Mother's Day. Yep that's the woman behind my disdain for this fool fool day. And she ain't cute either.

I didn't post a damn thing on Twitter or Facebook for a whole day, but after reading through my tweets....pure praising of mothers going on.

So what, your mother can't be praised, taken out to lunch/dinner any other damn day of the year? Shoot if I was a mother I'd feel bloody insulted if my husband/kids took me out on Mother's Day. That is not special, that's following every body else doing the same exact thing. BE ORIGINAL DAGNABBIT!! And why do folks have to talk about what they did as well? OK so you phoned your mother. I phone mine about 5 times a day from 9am right through to 1:30am. What do you want? A cookie? That does not deserve part of your 140 character Twitter limit worth of bragging. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL YOUR MOTHER. And don't tell me none of this bullcrap about it's about recognising and celebrating your mother or grandmother, a special day just for them. It is not. You can make any day special for anyone that you love, because you want to.

I'm getting it put in a pre-nup of a list of days that are NOT to be celebrated and that is one of them when I get married.

NO Mother's Day
NO Valentine's Day
NO Christmas Day

I'd like a spontaneous gift, card or surprise dinner date on any of the other 362 days of the year thank you, which aren't prefaced with a bullshit 'Happy' or have been created by some off key Caucasian who was somewhat lacking love or adoration so decided to create a day just to feel special.

It's OK...I'm done...Until Christmas I'll be ranting again. You mark my words.

I Am Packing My Bags For 24 Hours...

....from Twitter and Facebook.

It's Mother's Day in the USA, and all the Mother's Day messages already are driving me fucking nuts. There's been talk about it for days. I haven't seen this much excitement amongst folks since the news of the first black President. Scratch that. The free KFC from Oprah last week.

If you forget why I can't stand these shit days then here's a recap. We celebrate ours in the UK in March. Well they do. I don't. And no it won't change when I become a mother. My kids are soooooooo in trouble if they ever utter those three words to me. H**** M*****'* D**. It's punishment for a whole month if they do.

Here I Go Again - No To Mother's Day Rant!

All right. Here is what LondonDiva doesn't do in case y'all are beginning to think I'm a tight fisted scrooge and/or missed my Christmas and Valentine's day blogs and what my reasons for bowing out of these ridiculous 'traditions' are

I don't do:

Mother's Day
Father's Day
Dog Day
Cat Day
Christmas Day
Hamster Day
Valentine's Day
Halloween
Grandparent's Day
Cousin's Day

I however, do observe, Birthdays, Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Easter, Anniversaries.

Aside from an occasion like a birthday or a wedding I refuse to be reminded or dictated in how I'm going to live my life and who I'm going to give to and when. Let me see if I can keep this brief while all the while in getting my point across.

I do not need March 22nd as a day to get my mother flowers, chocolates, or cook her a damn meal. I should be doing that and showing my appreciation anyway. OK granted I don't cook the meal but I do book restaurants [JUST BECAUSE] and take my folks out because I love them and want to treat them. I occasionally pass by the confectionary aisle in the supermarket and pick up a box of chocolates for my folks [JUST BECAUSE] and leave it in my porch when they are going to pass by and drop something off for me. I pick up the phone literally about 5 times [maybe even more] a day and speak to my parents, say good morning/goodnight and all that smushy stuff in between. If my dad has helped me out chauffeuring me to get the DIY stuff in and putting up a shelf or two I will give buy him a thank you bottle of Whisky he so adores. I DO NOT need to look like some prissy fool on Facebook acting all fake and giving my momma props on Mother's Day when I try and treat my mother and my father all of the time. And on top of that how many of your momma's are even on bloody Facebook to read that? Please shut up and phone your mothers and tell em that. I was so tired of the Mother's Day Facebook messages yesterday.

"But LondonDiva c'mon now when you have kids you're gonna want a lil something from your children?"

The hell I am not.

When I have children I want nothing more from my kids than to be well mannered, respectful and do their very best in school and be the best that they can be in life. Looking at them, getting kisses and cuddles and 'I love you mummy' will make EVERYDAY Mother's Day for me. If my kids want to treat me by drawing me a picture [JUST BECAUSE] or try and fix me a snack in the kitchen when they can reach the counter and stand on the stool, then I'd appreciate the 'just because' effort. I want to teach my children to be generous from the heart and do for others sincerely rather than by following fashion just because it's a said date. Have you ever been given the last cookie by a little toddler? I have and it the cutest thing that warms my heart. That is the stuff that I want that will make it all complete for me. I'm not going to enforce all these 'holidays' and forcing to give if (a) they don't have the means or (b) they genuinely aren't feeling like giving around that time. And that's OK. Yes it's good to give but there are days when hey, you're just not in the giving mood.

So there you have it.

With Christmas YOU'RE SUPPOSED to show Goodwill to all men ALL THE TIME and give gifts when you feel like it at other times of the year [JUST BECAUSE]
With Valentine's Day YOU'RE SUPPOSED to show love and adoration and treat the one you love at other times of the year [JUST BECAUSE]
With Mother's Day YOU'RE SUPPOSED to show love and adoration and treat your mother at other times of the year [JUST BECAUSE]

I want my babies last cookie on any day of the week. Stuff the Mother's Day holiday!